All For You!
by xtwistedanddecayedx
Summary: True love can overcome anything. Or so they say. Can true love really last when there's so much stopping it? Poynter/Jones story!x WARNING - SLASH, SWEARING.
1. Chapter 1

**I uploaded this story once before but it wasn't getting any reviews so if you read this can you please review so that I know if it's worth writing more:P**

**I really do want to upload more of it because I'm really proud of what I've written so far and I have so many ideas as to where this story could go so please let me know:D**

**I won't upload another chapter if this one doesn't get any reviews, so sorry if you do read it and you want more but can't be bothered to **

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><p><span>All For You.<span>

Chapter 1.

Dougie's P.O.V.

Here I am, sat in our flat, the one we bought when we had to leave, when we had to get away from it all. Away from all the pain we had caused to the ones we loved, away from all the people whose hearts we'd crushed. We wanted to start all over again, just me and you, no one there to judge us or keep us from each other.

That day, the day I decided to choose you over everything and everyone else that meant something to me. I left the perfect life, I had the most amazing friends ever, the most beautiful girlfriend in the world and my dream was coming true. I was absolutely stupid that day because I had only you to rely on and I believed that you would be all I would ever need, all I would ever have. All of the pain seemed to leave when your lips touched mine, when I looked in to your deep, deep blue eyes.

But I wasn't the only one who lost everything was I? You did too. You just tried to be strong for me, to show me that you believed in everything we ever were, you kept your doubts hidden inside to protect me, to keep me from hurting. You made me believe in things that I never thought would happen, things that made me feel like the happiest man on Earth. You said that everything that we had done was worth it because it would hurt so much more to lose me than it did to lose them; you said that's why you choose me.

But I know you were lying, weren't you, Danny Jones? Of course you were, otherwise you would still be here now. You wouldn't have left me the minute things became a tiny bit difficult, you knew I would be crushed inside but you made me think that it was for the best. You fucked with my head, you messed me up and then left me, left me when I was at my most vulnerable.

You say you were hurt, bullshit. You have no idea what pain feels like Danny Jones.

Danny's P.O.V.

All of the songs that were playing on the radio reminded me of you, reminded me of your smile, your laugh, your eyes, that's why I had to turn the radio off because I couldn't see, my eyes were watery and full of my salty tears. The only problem is, even when it's silent, I can think of nothing but you. You gave me the one thing that everyone else had failed to provide me with. I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am for leaving the way I did, how sorry I am for leaving at all but I swear on my life, it was best for everyone, you, me and everyone else.

I just couldn't bear to stay, I knew I would end up cracking from the pressure that would have been weighing down on me, the pressure of all the pain, we had caused, well the pain that I had caused mostly. I knew that I would end up hurting you a thousand times more than I would ever hope, want, need to but it had to be done. I know the question that will be on your mind. Am I going back to her? I'm truly sorry to say this but I am, I'm going back to her but I promise that I will never forget you and how happy you made me for the rest of my life. I will always keep you with me for as long as I live.

I know that you're going to find out where I am eventually but you don't have to know yet, not straight away. I just want to tell you one thing, please don't come after me Dougie, no matter how much you want to, don't come after me. Forget about me. Actually, no, don't forget about me but just forget about _us_, don't hold on to the memory of _us_, hold on to the memory of me and don't ever let it go. I hate to be the one to cause you this heart-break but again, I'm sorry.

I know there is no way that you can hear any of this because you can't read minds but remember, I will always love you, Dougie Poynter.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Dougie's P.O.V.

I don't really know what to call the feelings I had for you when we first met, it might have been love or just confusion. All I know is that when you walked past me at that audition, my heart skipped a beat.

"Do you think that's them?" The boy called Harry who I was sitting next to asked me, he was auditioning to be the drummer of your band.  
>"Probably." I half-answered, my eyes were focusing on you mostly. Harry made some kind of joke about you and I giggled trying to hide the new level of anxiety I had developed upon seeing you.<p>

A man walked out of the room you were in and called my number, I was number 39. I picked up my bass and hobbled through the doors of the audition room.  
>"What's your name?" A tall, dark haired man asked whose name was Richard Rashman.<br>"Dougie Poynter." I managed to say with a small squeak.  
>"And your age?"<br>"15." I mumbled, I looked at my feet because I knew everyone in the room was staring at me, including you. I could feel your gaze burning holes in to me, making me feel even more nervous. Richard shook his head.  
>"I'm sorry mate but…" You cut in before he could finish his sentence.<br>"Come on, let him play!" You called to him. You had an accent that sounded like you came from somewhere up in the north of England; I didn't know where exactly as I'd never been up there but your accent made you just that little bit more attractive. "I know that the band members should be 16 but I only turned 16 last month and we haven't even heard anyone good yet."  
>"I also agree with Danny." The blonde boy, obviously called Tom sided with you. I saw the Richard guy shake his head before he spoke.<br>"Fine. Get ready, Dougie." I made my way to the center of the room and began to play, I played really well in my opinion, the best I have ever played in my whole life. I think I impressed you and Tom as well because both of you looked absolutely stunned.  
>"Wow. You're in. No other questions." You told me. You had a huge smile on your face and your crystal blue eyes were shining out from behind you straight black hair that covered your eyes.<br>"You're in our top 5, Dougie." Tom explained to me, a smile also on his face.  
>"But don't forget, you're my number 1." You winked at me, making me melt inside, I almost collapsed but I composed myself and smiled back at you both.<br>"Thank you." I replied gratefully. There was a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach, one that I had never felt before, at the time I put it down to adrenaline and excitement but I think now I know that it was love.

I spent the rest of that week waiting by the phone to ring so I could pick it up and find out if I was in the band, sub-consciously I was also waiting to hear your voice again but I hid that fact from myself. When the phone finally did ring, you informed that I was in the band and I was going to be moving in with you and Tom and whoever the other member was. I was so excited that I raced down the stairs to tell my mum.

"What?" Mum wasn't as happy about it as I was. "Are you saying that you're just going to drop everything to move to London and join a band that may not even succeed?" I honestly thought she would be happy about this but it turns out she wasn't that supportive really.  
>"Mum, can't you at least be a little bit happy for me, at least try to understand." I pleaded with her.<br>"But you haven't even finished school! Your 15! You have exams to do; you have to do your GCSE's!" She kept listing all the reasons that I had to stay. "You can't go, I won't let you!"  
>"Mum, you know that I'm shit at school, we both know that. The only thing I'm good at, the only thing I actually care about is music. I've wanted this my whole life!" I argued back.<br>"You know that isn't true."  
>"Mum please just listen to me this once." I begged. "You have to trust me, I can do this." She paused and took a deep breath before looking me in my eyes.<br>"Is there really anyway that I can stop you?" I shook my head. "OK. You can go." I smiled as widely as I could and pulled her in to a hug, tighter than I had ever hugged her before. "But…" I pulled away. "Answer me this. What are you going to do about Emma?"  
>"I'll take her with me." I had planned everything out; it was all going to work perfectly.<br>"You what?" Mum shouted.  
>"I'm going to bring her with me. Once the band starts going well, I'll support her and help her get a job in the city somewhere and…"<br>"What about school, Doug. You can't expect Emma to give that up as well." She reasoned. "You can't risk her future as well as your own. You should know that."  
>"But mum, I can't leave her." Me and Emma had been best friends for as long as I can remember, we had pretty much only just started dating and I just didn't want to leave her, she meant too much to me.<br>"She… She can go to school there, there are schools in London as well, you know?" I explained, praying her to let me have the two things I wanted the most. Emma and the band. "And when she finishes school, she can go to college in London, can't she?"  
>"What about her mum? She can't leave her mum. Please honey, you haven't thought this through." You explained apologetically.<br>"She hates her mum; she would do anything to get away from her. I have thought about it mum and I know I can make it work." I stormed out of the kitchen dramatically and headed upstairs.

Looking back at now, it's kind of funny isn't it? How I fought and fought for her but we ending up hurting her way more than I would have hurt her if I left her behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

Danny's P.O.V.

Isn't it weird how I met Becky on the same day that I met you? If I hadn't noticed her that day, handing out leaflets outside the place where the auditions were being held, I could have saved her a lifetime's amount of pain. Personally, I blame all of it on Tom.

"That girl over there's doing what I was doing what I met you." Tom said, motioning towards her, I smiled at the way her eyes were constantly lit up and sparkling a bright green colour. Falling in love with Becky was so simple and easy, unlike falling in love with you. For us, everything was an obstacle, each harder to overcome that the previous one. But with Becky, nothing was stopping us, we were free to fall in love and do what we wanted, nothing was complicated, for as far as we could see, it was me and her together forever. At least, that was what it was like at the time.  
>"Aw. Dan-Dan, you like her, don't you?" Tom teased me.<br>"Course I do, she's gorgeous." I exclaimed, not taking my eyes off of her once. He motioned for me to go and talk to her and I obeyed without hesitation.

"You having fun?" I asked from behind her, causing her to spin around in shock, her eyes wide showing off the different shades of green in them. She relaxed when she realized that there was no real reason to be worried.  
>"Uh-huh." She shoved a leaflet into my hand that advertised an audition for another band, obviously one that was in the same boat as Tom and I, young and fulfilling their dreams.<br>"Erm… I don't need this, I'm already in a band." I scratched the back of my head awkwardly while she giggled. She had he most amazing giggle ever.  
>"Just take it, I need to get rid of them so I can get out of here." I nodded, understanding what she meant.<br>"So um… are you doing anything later?" I asked her. I looked at her and she had a cheeky grin on her face.  
>"Maybe I am, maybe I aren't." I held out my hand to her.<br>"I'm Danny." I introduced myself. She followed me by shaking my hand and telling me her name also.  
>"So Becky, how about I give you my number and you can let me know later if you are doing anything or not?" My confidence was building up as I began to realize how similar our personalities were and how easy she was to get along with. I handed her a piece of paper with my number on it and we carried on talking until Tom called me to say we had to carry on with the auditions. I hugged her goodbye and followed behind Tom.<p>

I knew right then that it was the start of something amazing and as much as I hate to admit it, Dougie, I don't regret it at all.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Dougie's P.O.V.

"So you're going to just leave me here to join a band?" Emma asked me angrily.  
>"No! You can come with me!" I grinned at her.<br>"What? Are you kidding?" I shook my head vigorously.  
>"What about my life here? I have to finish school and I can't leave my family and friends." She told me. Her voice was becoming softer but I reckon it was just from the shock of the proposal I had given her.<br>"Why don't you finish school and come then? You'll be sixteen then, old enough to make your own decisions." I reasoned with her. Emma seemed to be in deep thought and I prayed and prayed that she would agree to these arrangements.  
>"OK! I'll finish school and then I'll move to London with you." Emma replied. She was smiling brightly and she looked absolutely beautiful, glowing. I couldn't help but smile back just a widely.<br>"Yes!" I pulled her in to a huge hug, not wanting to let go.  
>"How come you want me to be there so much? You could have brought someone else, why me?" Emma pulled away from the hug and I immediately missed her being in my arms.<br>"Because you've been my best friend for as long as I can remember and you've only just become my girlfriend. I don't ever want to lose, not in a million years. I love you." I told her warmly.  
>"I love you too, Doug." Emma replied, she kissed me softly before hugging me once again.<p>

A month and a half passed until the day I was supposed to be moving in with the guys. I was in a taxi staring out at all of the posh houses that I passed and then the taxi pulled up at a big house, one that looked bigger than four teenage boys would need. I was remembering when I left, people were sad, all my friends acted as though I had betrayed them and mum was upset, more upset than I would have expected her to be. I mean, it's not as if I'm moving to the other side of the world, I'm only a few miles away.

I knocked on the door weakly, so weakly I didn't think anyone would hear it, I've never been good at knocking on doors because it hurts my knuckles. However, someone had heard it because the door opened almost immediately and there you stood, the sight of you made stomach flip a million times over, you were even more gorgeous than when I first met you but I put all my feelings behind me, told myself that I was being stupid and pretended like nothing was the matter. I believed it for a while.  
>"Hi Dougie!" you beamed at me showing off your pearly white teeth. You grabbed my bags and shoved them in to the door before grabbing my hand and pulling me in as well. The second your hand touched mine, tingles were making their way around my body at a lightning speed.<br>"This…" you motioned around. "Is your new home!" Just then, Tom came running out of the kitchen a smile also on his face.  
>"Hi Dougie, it's nice to see you. How've you been?" Tom asked me.<br>"Good, I guess." I replied nervously. I was never good around new people especially hyper-active people.  
>"This is our drummer." Tom motioned towards the kitchen door and out of it walked Harry, the guy who I was talking to at the audition.<br>"Alright, mate?" Harry asked me.  
>"Yeah. What about you, Harry?" I asked him also, happy to have at least someone that I knew there.<br>"I've been great, thanks." I noticed that Tom had a frown on his face.  
>"You two know each other?" He was obviously confused.<br>"Yeah, we started talking at the audition." I explained to him, his frown slowly became looser and the confusion etched away from his facial features until it was replaced with a small smile.  
>"Okay, so first things first, what should we call ourselves." You asked. I shrugged and so did Harry but Tom suddenly lit up.<br>"What about McFly like Marty McFly from Back to the Future?" I instantly loved the idea so I nodded and noticed that you and Harry were doing the same thing. That was that, we were called McFly.

Everything went smoothly after that, we went on tour with Busted and had two number 1 singles in the few months before Emma moved in. Becky also moved in a few weeks after which I think was a good idea so Emma didn't have to constantly be around only boys, she didn't seem to mind though. It was all perfect, or so it seemed, none of knew what was about to happen in the near future.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Danny's P.O.V.

The rest of the year went quickly and before we knew it, it was the start of 2005. I think that our first year as a band went amazingly well, didn't you? I mean, we had a huge fan-base full of screaming girls who loved us and our music, it was all perfect. At this time, I thought of you as nothing more than a best friend, at least that's what I thought. I knew we were close but we were all close weren't we? Me, you, Tom and Harry. I'm not really sure what to think anymore, I was 100 percent certain that my heart belonged to Becky and no one else but these feeling I have for you now can't have just popped up from nowhere, they must have been there all along but I just didn't realize it. I just don't know how it happened Dougie.

"We're home!" I called as I walked through the front door of the house. We had been home to our families for Christmas, leaving Emma and Becky at our house but now we were coming back for New Year's Day so that we could have a huge party.  
>"Danny! I've missed you so much!" Becky shouted as she ran down the stairs and straight in to my arms. I kissed her lovingly, I had missed the way that her lips felt on mine, I had missed how amazing she smelt, I had missed her. I hadn't been gone long, only a week but I still had missed her like I had been gone for a lifetime.<br>"Calm down you two." You said as you pushed past us. I thought you were joking back then and you probably were but now I can't help but wonder. "We do have to get inside you know." You spun round and stuck your tongue out at us, making it clear you were joking or at lease pretending you were joking, who knows what you were really feeling on the inside? "Where's Emma then?"  
>"She's gone to get food for the party. I don't know how much she's getting because there aren't going to be that many people." Just then the front door burst open and in came Emma carrying about four shopping bags full of nothing but party food, alcohol and fizzy drinks. When she noticed that we were home she put the bags down and raced straight over to you, wrapping her arms around you and kissing you deeply, you responded and immediately I looked away, I don't know why but I did. I think that might have been when it all started, my feelings for you but I can't be certain. The memories from back then are completely muddled in my head.<p>

Later that night we got absolutely hammered, we had so much alcohol that we could hardly think straight. All the alcohol that the girls had bought while we were away had gone in about two hours, well, I guess 2005 started with a bang.

I don't remember anything from that night apart from the moment that me and you were left alone together. You were more drunk than me, a lot more in fact.

"Ah, Danny." You slurred while slinging an arm around my shoulder.  
>"Yes, Dougie?" I also put my arm around you, laughing at your drunken state.<br>"I have a secret to tell you." You giggled childishly.  
>"Speak away." I squeezed your shoulder causing you to lean forward as you laughed.<br>"I love you." That was the moment that you passed out, went limp in my arms. I was frozen to the spot, so many thoughts whizzing around in my head. It was the alcohol, of course it was, you weren't in love with me. I will never know if you meant it because you can't even remember it but one thing I definitely do know is that was when I realized just how much you meant to me.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

Dougie's P.O.V

Please Danny, what happened that night? After that party on New Year's you started to distance yourself from me and I have no idea why. It hurt me, you know? Right now, all this time later, I still have no clue as to what I did or said to make you act as though you didn't want to know me anymore. I used to looked forward to interviews or anything else that was being filmed because that was the only time you would speak to me, probably to stop the fans from getting suspicious. Out of the way of the cameras you were a completely different person, there was nothing there for you to pretend for. Becky noticed that you were acting off and she came to me for advice! I bet that's something you didn't know, isn't it? Out of everyone else she could have gone to, she came to me, the one person who wanted you more than anything else in the world.  
>"Dougie?" I heard Becky's voice call softly from beside me. She wanted something, she wanted advice, I could tell by how lost she looked, she looked exactly the way I felt. We were alone because Emma was at collage, the rest of the guys were out and you were upstairs, sleeping.<br>"Hi, what's up?" I asked, trying to show that nothing was bothering me.  
>"Erm… Can I talk to you about something?" She asked nervously. I nodded and moved up so that she could take the seat next to me, she did and then stared down at her fingers.<p>

"OK, what's up?" I asked, not really knowing how to start because I knew what was coming.  
>"How come Danny's being so distant, Dougs?" Becky blurted out quickly.<br>"I honestly don't know." I replied truthfully.  
>"I thought he told you everything. You're his closest friend." Becky was obviously confused at the fact that I didn't know anything about it.<br>"Honestly?" I had known that me and you talked a lot but I just assumed it was because we were left alone a lot.  
>"Yeah, he cares about you so much. You're like a brother to him." My heart sunk a little at her words but it also felt light. I was like a brother? Well that obviously means that you don't feel the same way about me but she said you cared about me and that made me so happy.<br>"Well, he doesn't seem to be showing it lately." I replied, I didn't expect to say something like that but I was thinking it so it must have just slipped out.  
>"He's been off with you too hasn't he?" Becky asked. "I just don't get it, he's been like this since New Year's. I just want to understand but I can't." I felt sorry for Becky because she looked so confused like a puppy trying to find its owner.<br>"He'll tell you eventually, just give him time, OK?" I smiled at her reassuringly, patting her on the back.  
>"Yeah, I suppose so. Thanks Dougs, you're a great friend." She hugged me before getting up to go to her room.<p>

The rest of the day went by quite quickly, like I was in some sort of daze. Emma was doing course work for the rest of the day so I don't think she noticed, I still loved her, my feelings hadn't changed but I had developed feelings for you also. Emma comforted me though, I was familiar with her, I knew her and it made me happy. I know I'll miss her so much when we go to America to film Just My Luck but I think I'm only going because I thought that you would talk to me again, being in a film just isn't my kind of thing.  
>"Dougie?" I was awoken from my daydream about you by Emma waving her hand in front of my face. I spun around to her and she laughed. "Daydreaming again?"<br>"Sorry." I replied bluntly, I don't know why I was being like that but I just was.  
>"I just…" She trailed off before she even started her sentence properly.<br>"You just what?" I motioned for her to carry on.  
>"Is everything OK?" I was puzzled slightly and I think Emma noticed because she made her point a bit clearer. "With us, I mean. I accept that your busy with the band and everything but I can't help thinking that you've been avoiding me on purpose." She was looking down at her hands nervously.<br>"Oh…" I didn't know what to say to her at that moment. What do you say to that? She'd gone through so much just to be with me. She left her family behind causing them all to hate her and she abandoned all of the friends she had back at home is Essex. She had left all of her old life to stay with me. I knew that it would kill her if I were to leave her; now do you understand why I was so hesitant?  
>"See you aren't listening again!" Emma shouted to me.<br>"I am!" I snapped back defensively.  
>"Well?" Emma asked, her eyebrows raised.<br>"Well, what?" I questioned.  
>"Is everything OK?" Emma was clearly getting fed up with having to repeat herself.<br>"Of course it is, Emma. I love you." I pulled her in to a reassuring hug.  
>"Good because I don't know what I'll do without you." She told me.<br>"And you won't ever know." I whispered into her ear.

Part of me felt happy that I had reassured her but we both know now that it was a lie, a complete and utter lie.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

Danny's P.O.V

The plane ride to America was pretty weird. You knew I had been avoiding you, you didn't know why though and I could tell it was hurting you. I didn't want to be the one to hurt you but I had no other option, I couldn't risk getting close to you again, not when I wanted you so badly. The only way to avoid making myself look like an idiot was to distance myself, act as though you weren't the only thing on my mind. I managed to avoid you for the first day in America by saying I was tired, that I just wanted some sleep but of course, I was only thinking about you.

I wasn't so lucky on the second day though because you managed to get me alone. You certainly made sure that I felt more comfortable, didn't you Dougie?

"What's up, misery guts?" You pranced past me so you were walking backwards in front of me. We were just walking off of the set for filming Just My Luck.  
>"I'm tired, Dougie." I snapped at you a little too harshly while trying to avoid your gaze.<br>"But your always tired. Why can't we have fun like we used to?" You asked, rolling you gorgeous crystal blue eyes. "Anyway, Harry and Tom have gone out with Lindsey but they didn't invite us so now we have to find way to entertain ourselves." I thought about it and realized that one day with you wouldn't be that bad.  
>"Well then my little Dougles, where shall we go?" You grinned when I said 'Dougles' because it was a name that only I called you.<br>"The funfair?" You suggested. I nodded in agreement and we headed straight for the funfair which was set on the seafront.

We had an amazing day together, just like old times, before my feelings got all messed up. We went on the dodgems and the teacups and the big wheel, we bought ice-creams and candy-floss and I had more fun than I had had in ages. There was only one problem. I had gotten close to you again. So close that I didn't want to get away. So close that I wanted to be closer, I wanted to be as close as I could possibly get. I had gotten too close.

"Can we go to the beach please?" You begged me like a little child.  
>"Any excuse to get your kit off, ay Doug?" I laughed.<br>"I don't see you complaining Jones." You retorted, sticking your tongue out and pretending to be a stripper while you took off your top. I couldn't help but laugh, I laughed so much that my sides were hurting. Before I knew what was happening, you were charging down to the sea faster than I had ever seen you run before. I suddenly heard a loud screech come from your lips and you ran back up to me just as fast. "Cold, the water is so cold!" You panted because you were out of breath.  
>"I didn't even see you go in." I was laughing at your reaction to the temperature of the water so much that I was struggling to fit my words in between my gasps for air.<br>"My foot did." You said defensively, causing me to fall over from laughing so much. If it was anyone else saying these things I probably wouldn't even be laughing, you always made me smile and laugh no matter what the situation was.

But, thinking about it, didn't Becky give me that? Didn't she make me smile and laugh and make me feel good? Yeah, she did. Everything that I loved about her, I loved about you but you were different in a way I couldn't quite figure out, a way I still can't figure out. And no, it isn't because you're a guy, it's a less obvious difference, one that I don't think I will ever be able to understand.  
>"Danny?" You asked me, a concerned look on your face. I realized that I suddenly had stopped laughing and had got caught up in my thoughts, still sat on the beach.<br>"Yeah?" I said, not taking my eyes of of the sand underneath me.  
>"What's wrong with you?" You pleaded with me. "I promise I'll keep it a secret if you want." If it was anything else I would have told you this was the one thing I couldn't tell you about, even though I wanted to so badly.<br>"Nothing, mate." I replied, ruffling your hair.  
>"But there is something." You gave an exasperated sigh. "You been off with me for ages now, since New Year's. Today is the first day in ages that you've actually been acting like you used to do around me." I wanted to defend myself, deny what you accusing me of but how could I when it was all true? I'm not exactly going to come out with something like, 'Oh right, I'm sorry. It's just that I'm in love with you and I don't want to do anything that might put our relationship in jeopardy.'<br>"It's not just me that's noticed it, you know? Becky has too." You told me, your voice sounded tired.  
>"What?" I asked, suddenly becoming very interested in the conversation. "What's she noticed?"<br>"That you're acting different. Did you think she wouldn't notice?" You raised your eyebrow at me.  
>"Erm…" I suddenly felt ashamed. Ashamed because all this time I've been acting weird to Becky, ignoring her because I was so hung up on you. It's not her fault and I really do love her.<br>"Come on then? What's the matter?" You pushed whilst sitting down heavily next to me.  
>"Please, Doug. Just forget it." I sighed. "Let's change the subject."<br>"Fine." You replied. And that's what you did. We went on to discuss loads of weird and wonderful topics, about anything and everything we could think of. It was so much fun.

We decided to get up and walk home after hours of talking. On the way home, you told me a story about how you were at McDonalds the day we came to America and the woman who was serving the food feel, making all of the chips fall all over her. You made me laugh so much because of the way you acted it out loudly, not caring that people were staring at you like you were a complete idiot. You also told me about how an old woman in an electric chair recognized you and said she loved McFly so she started chasing you down the street. You almost killed me with that one.

When we had finally finished laughing, you did something. Something amazing but absolutely terrifying at the same time. You did the one thing I had been pinning all of my hopes and dreams on since New Year's Eve. You unexpectedly pressed your lips on to mine ever so softly and without even knowing what I was doing, I responded, sinking in to the kiss.  
>"What are you doing?" I asked, still kissing you. You broke the kiss.<br>"I don't know." You whispered before leaning back in and locking your lips with mine once again. You ran your tongue across my lips and I opened my mouth, allowing you entry. It felt amazing and right. In fact it felt a little too right.

You pulled away, leaving me there, wanting more. When I opened my eyes, you weren't even looking at me, you were looking down the street, towards where the hotel was.  
>"Dougie." I whispered. I knew what you were thinking, you were thinking about leaving and that was the one thing I didn't want you to do at that moment.<br>"We need to go because, you know, it's getting dark and stuff…" You mumbled, avoiding eye contact. I suddenly realized that it had got a bit cold so I put my jacket on and went to say something to you but when I looked back, you were already walking ahead. You were the same for the whole way back to the hotel. Walking in front of me and only talking to me when you absolutely needed to, still refusing to look at me. We were two straight guys, both with girlfriends and we had kissed. It wasn't exactly an ideal situation was it? And it didn't help me cure my feeling for you, if anything, it made them a million times worse. Why did I agree to come here? I knew I shouldn't have gotten close to you, I knew it would be a mistake.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

Dougie's P.O.V

I rushed straight off of the plane and was the first to collect my bags from the baggage claim. I just wanted to get back to Emma, back to something I was familiar with. The second I saw her, I hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go, ever. I had to hold her because I was scared, scared about what had happened, scared about my feelings.  
>"Hi Doug." Emma laughed, pulling me closer because she knew that I wanted some comfort.<br>"I'm sorry." I whispered, burying my face deeper into her shoulder so I could take in more of her smell, the smell I had missed so much. I just wanted it to go back to the way it was before and maybe I thought it would if I kept hold of her.  
>"What for?" Emma asked with a giggled but it was a slightly nervous giggle. I could only imagine what possibilities were going through her head at that moment. I suddenly felt tears prick at the back of my eyes and lifted my head up to look at her, my arms slipped from around her body and I entangled my hands with hers. Emma looked concerned now and was searching my face for some kind of answer.<br>"I just missed you so much." I told her as I felt a few tears roll down my cheeks. She smiled a beautiful smile but her eyes told me she wasn't convinced.  
>"I missed you too." She wiped away my tears slowly. "I've never seen you cry like this before apart from when, you know, your dad left and everything." She mumbled the last bit, obviously not wanting me to feel even worse but to be honest that was the last thing on my mind at the moment.<br>"I guess I'm just tired." I told her, smiling slightly at her beauty. She lifted my face up and kissed me softly, I responded but pulled away quickly, pulling her back in to a hug. I could feel you watching and after what happened in America, it made me feel really uncomfortable. Emma hugged me back so if she felt rejected or anything, she wasn't showing it.

The thing that stood out to me the most at the airport was that you did the complete opposite to Becky than what I did to Emma. I wouldn't be surprised if you said that you didn't know that she was ever there. You let her walk ahead while you lagged behind without even so much as a hug when you got off of the plane. That was a wonderful plan, Danny. You wasn't going to make her suspicious at all (please notice the sarcasm.)

When we entered the house, I gave a huge sigh of relief accompanied with a smile. Back to reality, maybe everything would become normal again but of course nothing is ever that simple is it?  
>"You coming upstairs?" Emma asked me, taking my hand and taking me up to the room we shared. I lay down on the bed, sinking into the mattress and realizing I had missed this bed so much. I didn't look around when I first came in to the room but now that I had got over the initial feeling of relief, I noticed that scattered all over the room were notebooks, pieces of paper and revision books. Emma was sat on the floor, her eyes scanning a particular piece of paper over and over again.<br>"What're you doing?" I asked, slinging my legs over the side of the bad so I was at on the edge of it.  
>"Studying for my exams next week." She replied. Her eyes not leaving the piece of paper.<br>"Your exams are next week?" I exclaimed. It felt like just a few weeks ago that Emma started college and now she had her exams. How time flies.  
>"Yeah. I'll just revise for about an hour and then we can do something if you want." She suggested.<br>"No, no. Don't rush. I want you to do well. Can I help you with anything?" I offered. I just wanted to be nice to her, to make up for what I did even though she doesn't know anything about it.  
>"Erm… you could test me?" She asked, handing me her book revision book.<br>"Okay… What are the effects of stress?" I questioned.  
>"I know this! Fuck! I can't remember!" She shouted.<br>"Calm down babe." I moved across the room and sat next her, slinging my arm around her shoulders. I was about to say something else to comfort her when the door burst open and in came a very sad looking Becky.  
>"Are you okay?" Emma asked in her usual caring tone.<br>"Not really…" Becky replied before bursting in to tears. Emma immediately stood and wrapped her arms around her. How could I have caused this?  
>"He isn't the same anymore. When we got back he just put his bag in our room and went out and when I first saw him at the airport, he only said hello and that was it. That isn't Danny." She cried.<br>"Don't worry. We'll figure it out, I promise." Emma told her, dragging her over to the bed and sitting her down on it.  
>"I think I'm going to go…" I said slowly whilst getting up and heading for the door.<br>"Wait, Doug. Do you know anything?" Emma asked me.  
>"No." I replied shortly.<br>"Come on. You must know something!" She shouted. "I mean, look at her." I did for a second but had to look away. I found it hard to look at one of my friends in tears because of something I had done.  
>"I know nothing, okay!" I shouted back.<br>"Dougie, please." Becky joined in. "Is he cheating on me?"  
>"Look, I said I don't know anything!" I was starting to get nervous under the pressure.<br>"I need to know. I deserve to know." Becky begged me.  
>"Can't you hear me?" I shouted. "I don't know what's the matter with him!" It all became silent apart from Becky's quiet sobs. I could feel Emma's eyes burning in to me as I hovered in the doorway, my back turned to them. I spun around. "What?" I snapped at her.<br>"You know something." Emma accused, her voice lowered. "I know you do."  
>"Please, Emma. I swear I don't." I whispered.<br>"Talk to him then. At least then you'll be helping."  
>"Talk to him about what exactly?"<br>"Why he's being such a dickhead to everyone!"  
>"Why can't Harry or Tom do that? Or you?"<br>"Because you're closer to him than anyone else!" Emma said, her voice raising once again.  
>"Why does everyone keep saying that when it isn't true?" I retorted. At that moment we heard the front door open and then close downstairs.<br>"That's him. Now, go and talk to him or don't bother coming back." The she slammed the door in my face. The things I do to please the woman I love.

I padded along the floor to your room and knocked on the door. You mumbled something inaudibly which I presumed was a yes so I let myself in.  
>"Hello?" I said cautiously.<br>"Oh right. It's you." You said. Your voice was cold and full of spite.  
>"Yeah it is." I spat back. "You girlfriend wants to know why your being a dickhead." You sat up abruptly and swung your legs around to the edge of the bed, your eyes staring at me without blinking, making me feel uncomfortable.<br>"Oh, does she now?" You asked, your voice was flat. "Why didn't you tell her?"  
>"I don't know. I just didn't." I replied sharply.<br>"I wonder why." You retorted. "Look who's being the dickhead now. Why don't you tell me why you're being a dickhead, Dougie?"  
>"Oh, shut up. One question at a time." I replied. You got up and walked towards me, I backed away from you but at the same time I wanted to get closer to you. My head was spinning.<br>"Well, here's my question. Why did you kiss me?" You spat at me.  
>"Not here, Danny." I hissed. "Becky and Emma are in the room next door."<br>"I DON'T CARE!" You shouted. You pushed me up against the door.  
>"Get the fuck off." I tried to push you off of me but you wouldn't budge. "Your pissed. You aren't thinking straight."<br>"So what, if I'm drunk." You said, your voice full of venom. "Do you really care?"  
>"Your girlfriend is in the room next door and she's crying. DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT HER?" I began to feel myself getting angry as well.<br>"Of course I do. But how can I comfort her when I don't want her?"  
>"Get off me." I tried to push you off of me but you only pushed harder.<br>"Why are you fighting it, Dougie?" You whispered. "I know you feel the same way I do and you know it too."  
>"I have no idea what you're talking about." I struggled against you. "Danny, you're hurting me."<br>"No Dougie. You're hurting me!" You pushed me even harder against the door, so hard that I felt as though I would fall through the door at any second. I gave a cry of pain but you didn't stop, you kept hold of my arm tightly, making it feel like the blood had stopped pumping around it. Your other hand was pressed against my chest and your whole body pressed up against mine, making sure I had no way of escape.  
>"Please, Danny. Let go of me." I whimpered. I didn't want to struggle against you. I wanted to hold you in my arms and I wanted to kiss you and love you but I couldn't, I had to get away.<br>"Not until you admit it."  
>"Fucking admit what?" I growled. "My girlfriend is next door with yours."<br>"I don't want to know that. I want something else." Your face was so close to mine that our noses were pressed against each other.  
>"Danny, you don't know what you want." I whispered, realizing that we had actually been talking quite loudly.<br>"I WANT YOU!"  
>"I WANT YOU TOO BUT IT CAN'T HAPPEN!" I screamed back at you without really knowing I was saying it.<br>"Danny? Dougie? What's going on?" Tom called from the other side of the door.  
>"Nothing. We're just messing around. Right, Doug?" You elbowed me in my hip.<br>"Yeah. Just having a bit of fun." I called to him, my voice shaking lightly. I hated lying to people. I waited until I heard his footsteps disappear before I spoke again.  
>"I told you what you wanted, Danny so let me go now." I ordered him, trying to sound as commanding as possible. I didn't sound very confident though because I was starting to feel a bit faint. "I can't fucking breath."<br>"You just going to go back to her."  
>"Of course I am. What else do you expect me to do?" I was struggling to get my words out. "And you're going to go back to Becky and stop making her feel like shit. She doesn't deserve that and you know it so just let me go before I end up dying." You scanned my face once more before letting go. I dropped to the floor, gasping for air. "Fucking hell!" I called. "What the fuck it wrong with you?"<br>"I love you." You said. My head shot up immediately and I looked at you in disbelief. "I'm sorry to say that but I do. I have known for a while and I just can't keep it a secret from you any longer. I don't know if I gay or anything, I just know that I love you so much. And you can't say you don't feel anything for me because you were the one that kissed me the other night." You gasped for air because you had been talking so quickly. I stood up slowly and shakily. I couldn't feel anything at that moment, I was just numb. You looked so confused and lost and I knew I had to give you what you wanted. Not just because of what you said but because I wanted it too.  
>"You're right, Danny." I whispered. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember." Then we kissed. You lips pressed against mine and you pushed me up against the door once again but this time, I didn't struggle. This time I wanted it. I know we shouldn't have been doing it but it just felt so right, like it was meant to be happening. We would have to think about the consequences later but right then I was just enjoying you, having you all to myself.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

Danny's P.O.V

After spending half of the night with you, I woke up the next morning feeling happier than I had felt in a long while. I headed down the stairs for breakfast knowing that you were upstairs, lying in bed with Emma but for once, that thought didn't make my heart ache because I knew that wasn't where you wanted to be. I forgot something though, one very important thing. Becky. She was sat in the kitchen with her back to the doorway, sipping hurriedly out of a mug of still steaming coffee.  
>"Hey." I greeted her weakly. She spun around at lightning speed, almost spilling her coffee. The look on her face was pure sadness and heart break, it crushed me to see her like that and know that I had caused her that pain. "How come you didn't come up to bed last night?" I asked, trying my best to avoid her eyes because the pain in them was too much to bear.<br>"I slept on the sofa." She replied shortly.  
>"Why?" I finally plucked the courage to look at her and her eyes were filling with glistening tears, she had small bags under her eyes as well which suggested that her night on the sofa wasn't ideal for getting sleep.<br>"Because I would hate to be somewhere I wasn't wanted." She snapped, turning around and making herself a second cup of coffee.

I don't think you understand how much I was dying to tell her that it wasn't true. I don't think you realize how much I wanted to get behind her, wrap my arms around her waist and whisper in her ear that everything was going to be okay. I just wanted her to be the only one for me like I was the only one for her. I knew in my heart that she deserved way more than me. Then, how come I didn't let her go? It was because I needed her. You had Emma and I knew that it would take so much for you to leave her after all she'd been through to be with you. If I let Becky go, I would have found myself sitting around, waiting, hoping for you to leave Emma without knowing if you would have actually gone through with it or not. For all I know, I could have ended up waiting my whole lifetime for you. By holding on to Becky, a girl who I did actually love a lot, at least I wouldn't have the possibility of ending up alone looming over my head. Right now, I actually cringe at how selfish I was back then. I think about how much pain I could have spared her, pain that she would have never really had to feel if I hadn't have just let her go then and there.

"I was actually planning on going out somewhere later, do you maybe want to come?" I offered Becky as softly and kindly as I could. She didn't even start to turn around.  
>"I'm thinking of going home, back to my mum's. To clear my head and everything, you know?" She replied, stirring her coffee slowly.<br>"Oh right…" I sighed, standing up.  
>"You aren't even going to try and stop me, are you?" She shouted, suddenly spinning around and giving me a deadly stare.<br>"What? Of course I am, Becky. I mean… can't you stay and we can try and work things out? We can keep trying, it will work." I begged, suddenly becoming desperate for her to stay.  
>"What will work, Danny? There's hardly anything left to work towards. I can't even see a reason for us to keep trying." Becky pressured me, battling the tears that were forming in her eyes.<br>"You love me don't you?" I whispered, looking down at my feet.  
>"Yes!" She laughed, not out of humor but out of disbelief and exhaustion. "I really don't want to though because you're making it pretty damn clear that you don't feel the same way about me."<br>"But I do!" I cried. "Please. I'm really sorry for the way I've been acting. I've just had so much on my mind, with the movie and the new album and everything. I didn't want to end up piling it all on top of you as well. I know that I made it all worse but… I'm sorry, okay?"  
>"So, is it all over now?" She whispered softly. "Are you going to start being the Danny that I know and love?"<br>"Yes, I promise." I smiled. Becky walked forward slowly and hesitantly before embracing me in a huge hug, I happily hugged her back. I really didn't want the moment to end. I knew how great it must have felt for her to have me love her like I used to and it made me feel great, it made me feel happy. Right up until you walked in.

"Oh right." You backed out of the kitchen door slowly, a look of surprise etched on your face. I pulled away from Becky, staring after you sadly. I wanted to be in two places at one, half of my heart was in the room with Becky but the other was in the other room with you, I was torn between the both of you, not knowing how to handle it.  
>"So then, are we still on for going out?" Becky asked, a smile playing on her lips.<br>"Yes." I nodded. "Go and get ready."  
>She leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips. I could see the spring in her step when she walked out of the room, at least I made someone happy.<p>

After Becky had left the kitchen, you walked in. I turned away and started to clean the counter from the little bits of milk and sugar that Becky had accidentally spilt.  
>"What was all that about?" You asked me, curiously.<br>"Oh nothing really. I've just been clearing things up with her." I replied, still not looking at you.  
>"You didn't tell her about last night though?" You asked, suddenly sounding nervous.<br>"No, don't worry." I answered. I heard footsteps behind me and then you spun me around so I was facing you. You ran your hands down your arms, causing tingles to run up and down them and then you clasped my hand in to yours.  
>"Don't you think it's a bit risky?" I whispered. "Anyone could walk in."<br>"I know." You grinned. Then you kissed me. I think you wanted assurance that I still felt the same as I did last night without having to put it in to words. I wanted to prove to you that my love for you would never end so I wrapped my arms around your waist as you ran your hands through my hair. I kissed you back passionately, not wanting to stop the kiss. Anybody could have walked in at that moment and caught us but we didn't really care. There were many moments like that actually, moments where we were in a place where someone could have walked in. It's a miracle that no one did catch us in the act. You pulled away and grinned at me happily.  
>"You're going to get us caught, Mr. Poynter." I teased.<br>"Well, Mr. Jones, you could have told me not to." You stuck your tongue out at me. Like it was really that easy to not kiss you.

As the weeks passed, we had many moments like the one in the kitchen. Any opportunity to be together, we would take it. Sometimes we didn't even do anything apart from lay in each other's arms and talk about deep meaningful things, things that we never used to talk about. I wish I could have told everyone that I loved you, that you were mine but I knew I couldn't. It would have crushed Emma and Becky and you weren't ready to tell so you would have probably hated me for it, I wouldn't have been able to live with you hating me but I knew I couldn't pretend for long.  
>"Erm… Danny? Can I talk to you?" Emma called from the doorway of the living room.<br>"If you have to." I answered coldly. I know I was unfair to Emma, I know you didn't like it but I just couldn't help it. She had you and I didn't, that was the one and only thing I had against her. Before I fell hopelessly in love with you, me and Emma had been really good friends, she's a great person. Which is why it makes it so much harder to dislike her.  
>"It's about Dougie." She sighed. She sat down next to me but I didn't take my eyes away from the TV.<br>"Well, don't you think you should be talking to him about this?" I questioned.  
>"Are you having an affair?" She asked.<br>"That doesn't have anything to do with Dougie." I replied, still not taking my eyes away from the TV.  
>"So you are then? I don't see you denying it." She accused me.<br>"I'm not cheating on Becky." Well, at least not with another girl.  
>"You're doing something, Danny. And it's affecting Dougie."<br>"It's affecting Dougie…" I repeat, turning to look at her suddenly. "Now you've lost me."  
>"Dougie's been acting different, all weird and distant. I can only think of one reason and it's you cheating on Becky because that explains the way you're acting weird and distant and it says that he probably knows about and you're making him lie for you…"<br>"What? Me and Becky are fine now. We've worked it all out. Go and ask her." I snapped.  
>"But…"<br>"Have you ever thought that it might be Dougie that's having an affair?" I shouted, not even realizing what I was saying.  
>"What? H-he wouldn't… He loves me…" She stuttered.<br>"No, no, no. I aren't saying that he is." I corrected myself. "It's just… how come it always has to be me that's in the wrong?"  
>"It's not always you, Danny. But you started being all weird first and now Dougie's doing it too. It must relate back to you somehow."<br>"Well, it doesn't. Maybe you should take a look at your apparently perfect relationship." I snapped angrily.  
>"And what's that supposed to mean?"<br>"Your relationship isn't flawless you know, Emma. There are something's that you don't know about Dougie." I shouted, getting angrier still.  
>"L-like what?"<br>"Just leave me alone!" I shouted before standing up and storming out of the room.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

Dougie's P.O.V

"Are you coming out with us?" Emma asked me while she was walking in to the bedroom. I was sprawled out on the bed, thinking of you.  
>"Nah." I replied shortly and with a sigh. It was the end of Emma's exams and we were all supposed to be going out to celebrate. I didn't really feel like celebrating though because this meant she would have more time at home which means that she will be with us all of the time. That had been her plan from the start, when she wasn't at college or in the holidays she would be with the band. What else did she have to do in the holidays? This meant more pretending that I wanted her when all I really wanted was you.<br>"What's the matter with you?" She snapped. "Danny isn't coming out either."  
>"Really?" I replied a little too quickly.<br>"Yeah…" she said suspiciously.  
>"What?" I asked, sitting up.<br>"What's happening Doug?" She sighed sadly.  
>"I don't know what you mean." I replied, avoiding her eye contact.<br>"Is Danny… are you…" She stopped. "Just forget it, okay?"  
>"No, wait a minute. What are you thinking?" I asked hesitantly.<br>"Erm… Okay, well… At first I thought you were covering something up for Danny and that was why you were being so weird and different but now… I'm not really that sure."  
>"T-there's nothing going on." I stuttered nervously. "I aren't acting weird."<br>"But you are, Dougie!" She pleaded. "You act as though you don't want to be with me at all."  
>"I-I…" I couldn't deny it. I mean, it's not as if I didn't love her anymore because I did but it's just that I loved you more.<br>"Dougie, please…" She whispered. "I don't want to go back to my mum who'll just laugh in my face and tell me that she was right, that you really were no good for me when I know you are."  
>"Emma…"<br>"I don't want this to just be a period in my life that just ends and is forgotten about. I want you, I want us, to be my life. Please don't give up on us Dougie."  
>"I'm not giving up." I shook my head. "I just wish I could explain to you what's going on, I really do."<br>"Just try." She smiled, taking my hand in hers. "We can make this work, Dougs."  
>"I know we can. I promise that I will sort my head out soon. I really don't want this to end either. Proving your mum right would be the downfall of my life." She gave a small laugh while pulled me towards her so we were only millimeters apart.<br>"I love you so much Dougie Poynter." She whispered.  
>"I know you do." I choked. I closed the gap between us and kissed her softly and slowly. In those few seconds, I didn't think of you one. I felt like I used to, before everything became so complicated. I pulled her closer and it felt like the old times when I loved her like I love you now. The she pulled away and all of my feelings for you came flooding back in one great wave.<br>"You still not coming?" She asked me.  
>"I'm sorry. I just aren't up for it today."<br>"Well, okay then." She replied. "I'll see you later then." I nodded and she kissed me once again before leaving the room.

I heard the front door shut and I knew that we were alone in the house, no one to disturb us but I didn't feel the usual excitement, I felt a huge weight I my stomach. I heard a knock on the bedroom door and I immediately knew it was you, who else would it be?  
>"Come in." I called. You walked in and you had a gorgeous smile on your face.<br>"I guess we're all alone." You told me while walking towards me. I slipped off of the bed and walked to the other side of the room before you could get to me.  
>"OK…" You raised an eyebrow at me questioningly.<br>"I'm not doing this anymore. I can't." I mumbled, looking down at my feet because I was too scared to look at you. "We're going to hurt way too many people." Then there was silence.  
>"What?" You broke the silence. "Y-you can't do this. Whatever happened… please don't do this, please."<br>"Emma's getting suspicious, Danny." I shouted. "I can't hurt her!" I looked up at you, to make it clear that I meant what I was saying and your face immediately fell when you saw the seriousness on my features.  
>"And what about me, Doug? Don't you care about hurting me?" You cried desperately.<br>"Look Danny… we both know that this wouldn't have lasted." I choked out. "If they find us, it will crush them. If the guys find out, the band will fall to pieces… we have to think about other people apart from us."  
>"But none of that matters." You walked towards me, getting way too close for comfort. I shook my head in protest and began to back away but I walked in to the desk.<br>"Don't say that Danny! You know it does!" I whimpered. "Please don't make this any harder that it is."  
>"It doesn't matter. I want you and only you. We can leave, run away together and get new life. We could be together forever." You begged.<br>"And how long would that last? A month? Maybe two?" I questioned.  
>"You don't want to do this. You're not thinking right." You began to cry. " Don't do this."<br>"Of course I don't want to do this." I replied. "But I don't want to hurt Emma either."  
>"You think I want to hurt Becky?" You snapped. "I don't want to but I will if it means being with you…"<br>"It's not that simple…"  
>"But it is!" I suddenly jumped on to the bed that was beside me and ran out of the door before you even knew that I'd moved. I sprinted down the stairs and out of the front door, nearly tripping up on my way out. However, I didn't get far because you caught up with me. It wasn't until I saw you dripping wet that I noticed that we were in the middle of a storm.<br>"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" You called over the thunder that was booming through the sky.  
>"AWAY! I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS!" I shouted back. Lightening flashed, causing your face to light up and I noticed the shear pain that was on it.<br>"Don't." You sobbed. "You can't."  
>"But what am I supposed to do?" I pleaded. "Please Danny. Help me." That was the moment you had to kiss me, wasn't it? It was just like in a movie, you know when they kiss in the middle of the street in the pouring rain. Anyone who happened to be walking by could have seen us. Then why didn't I pull away? I want answers to questions that I don't know. The one thing that became clear when you kissed me was that there was no way I could possibly let you go.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

Danny's P.O.V

After that day, I super careful with you, knowing that the tiniest thing could tip you over the edge and cause you to end it. I couldn't lose you, not after everything we'd been through together. The summer holidays were horrible, Emma came everywhere with us. The good thing was that Becky was starting to get more and more auditions so she wasn't around us as much. She wanted to be a musician so she was out of the country quite a bit. Even when the girls weren't around, Tom and Harry were and it was killing me. I wasn't able to get as close to you as I wanted to, as I need to.

That's why, when the end of 2005 came, I brought up the subject of telling everyone, I did this when we were alone of course. You weren't happy about the idea, you were still scared. You wanted to keep it a secret.  
>"It's clear that you don't feel the same way as I do." I spat. It was just me and you and I had asked you about telling everyone but you just brushed it off as though it didn't matter. You have no idea how much that hurt me, I felt used, like you didn't want us to be real.<br>"I'm not walking out on Emma now!" You shouted. "Not until she's finished college…"  
>"But that's ages away! And when she finally does finish, you're going to come up with another reason why we shouldn't tell them… I'm not saying that it's going to be easy, that we could just tell them and walk away but we have do it at some point, I can't live like this forever." You didn't reply, you just walked in to the living room and I followed you. "You can't run away from it, Dougie."<br>"Fuck off, Danny!" You shouted. "You don't have clue about how I feel. You don't understand.  
>"So you think that lying to them is better than just telling truth?" I challenged you. "Do you think that the longer we leave it, the easier it will get? Well, it won't. We'll be making it a million times harder if we leave it any longer." <p>

"Right!" Tom shouted, storming in to the room with Harry behind him. "You are going to tell us what's going on and you're going to tell us right now!" It turned out that we weren't home alone after all. Both Harry and Tom were stood in front of us, utter confusion all over their faces. It was clear that they had been suspicious for quite a while. I looked over at you and you looked absolutely terrified, all of the colour had drained from your face, I had never seen you so scared before.  
>"I see you've taken up eavesdropping." I spat.<br>"It's the only way we'd find out anything around here." Tom replied. "Now, what is up with you two?"  
>"No!" I shouted. "It doesn't concern you." I looked at you again and you had your head buried in your hands, I was surprised to see that you were actually crying.<br>"Danny, stop acting like a twat and tell us." Harry spoke.  
>"Fine…"<br>"No Danny! Don't please!" You shouted, your voice thick with tears and your face was still buried in your hands.  
>"We're gay!" I blurted out suddenly. Silence. Tom and Harry glanced at each other before looking back at us.<br>"Why can't you ever be serious?" Tom shook his head. "We're not pissing around here!"  
>"Neither am I, Tom! Me and Dougie have been seeing each other behind everyone's back for almost a year now." Another silence fell around us, this time it was more unpleasant though because they knew I was telling the truth. The only noises were your loud cried of pain, you were in pieces by now and I instantly regretted telling them.<br>"Fucking hell" Tom whispered. "You two…"  
>"Yes, there you go. Now you know. Happy now?" I spat.<br>"You can't be." Harry said. "You're both with girls."  
>"Yeah, I know mate. That the whole point of it being a secret." I retorted sarcastically. I just wanted you to say something. To help me defend us.<br>"You bastards! You lying, cheating bastards!" Tom shouted. "I can't believe… All of this time.. Oh my God."  
>"We didn't want this to happen, Tom." You finally looked up, you cheeks were tear stained and your eyes were red and puffy. "We didn't want to hurt people. Please Tom… don't hate us… we've tried to stop it."<br>"Well, you obviously didn't try hard enough."  
>"You think we're happy about it?" You pleaded.<br>"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked you quietly, looking down at you. "How come you aren't defending us? How come you're making out like it's all one big mistake?"  
>"Maybe Dougie's mature enough to realize that you two being together was stupid." Harry butted in.<br>"STAY OUT OF THIS!" I shouted to him. I turned back to you but you turned your gaze to the floor. "Right… Okay. I get it."  
>"Guys, this has to stop now." Tom ordered. "Either that or…"<br>"What gives you the right Tom? What gives you the fucking right to think that you can order everyone around like you're the boss?" I shouted to him.  
>"We can't end it." You whispered. "As much as I hate to hurt other people, you guys know how much I hate causing pain to other people but I can't leave him. I love him."<br>"Fucks sake…" Harry groaned.  
>"Jesus. It just gets better and better." Tom sighed. "You've got to tell them then."<br>"Leave it to us, Tom." You told him. "We can handle it.  
>"Becky and Emma are going to be crushed with this…" Harry hissed. "Do you two even realize what they did to be with you? How much they gave up, especially Emma. After all they did for you, you just go and treat them like fucking pieces of shit!"<br>"You have no idea about any of it, Harry." I hissed back. "We don't want to hurt anyone."  
>"Why don't we all calm down?" Tom asked. "We'll try our hardest to help you even though we don't understand it. We are your friends after all."<br>"Well, you can count me out." Harry spat. "They brought this on themselves, they can sort it out themselves."  
>"Harry…" You whimpered. The pain was clear in your voice.<br>"Oh and, either you tell them or I will!" He shouted at us.  
>"You have no right to do that!" I called back.<br>"They deserve it. They deserve to know the lying bastards that they fought to be with." Harry snapped. "You are both selfish twat and I hope this all goes completely wrong."  
>"Harry, they're our friends. We need to help them." Tom pleaded with him. "I'm angry at them too but I'm sure they would do the same to us if we were in a situation like this."<br>"And what about Becky and Emma, Tom?" Harry snapped. "When this eventually gets out, they'll hate us too because we knew but never told them. They'll feel even worse when they find out we went along with it and even supported it. Those two are best friends of mine and I really don't want to hurt them. They haven't done anything wrong in all of this."  
>"I know that Harry." Tom sighed. He turned round to us. "I hope you realize how much this going to affect the band."<br>"Why?" I asked.  
>"A great amount of fans won't like the fact that you're gay." Tom reasoned. "We'll lose a lot of support."<br>"Don't be stupid, Tom. Our sexuality doesn't affect our music." I retorted.  
>"Fine!" Tom snapped. "I'm guessing you two have this all planned out. You obviously have it all under control, don't you? You're going to wait for the right time, let Emma and Becky down gently, move out and buy a big house I the country, keep playing for the band and live happily ever after forever. Well, I hate to be the one to tell you this but it doesn't work like that, it isn't a fairytale, it's real life."<br>"I…"  
>Then the front door opened.<br>"We're home! Anyone here?" Emma called from the hallway.  
>"Shit." You cursed. You looked up at Harry before standing up abruptly. Emma and Becky walked in to the room at the same time and you quickly wiped away your tears and forced a huge grin on to your face.<br>"Bloody hell… you could cut the tension in here with a knife." Becky laughed. Tom forced a laugh as well.  
>"It's nothing really. Just going over lyrics and Danny came up with something absolutely horrible." I shot him al look but decided to let it go.<br>"Let's go out, Emma." You said as casually as you could.  
>"But…"<br>"Go on." You pushed her back out of the door she had just came from leaving Becky looking at us all suspiciously.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

Dougie's P.O.V

After that day, the day Tom and Harry found out about us, you tried your best to avoid me. I think it was about two weeks until you spoke to me properly. You made sure that we were never alone together and when we were you would walk away before I even had the chance to say anything to you. It hurt me so much; I needed you in those weeks. Tom and Harry could hardly bear to even look at us let alone speak to us and I couldn't exactly go to Emma or Becky for help. You were the only person I could talk to but you weren't there. Couldn't you see that I needed you?

"Danny?" It had been two weeks since Tom and Harry's little confrontation and we hadn't spoken since. I had heard you wake up early that morning since I didn't get to sleep, yet again so I decided to come down and talk to you. You were stood by the window, looking out of it as if I wasn't even there but I know you knew I was. "Danny." I repeated, this time a little louder.  
>"I really don't want to talk right now, Dougie." You sighed, not turning your gaze from the window.<br>"You're going to have to talk at some point." I replied, I refused to give up on you, not when you had finally showed signs that you knew I was still alive. "What've I done wrong?"  
>"I'm not joking, Dougie. I came down here so I could have some time to myself which is another thing I can't do anymore." You spoke louder and clearer this time, making sure I got the message.<br>"Please. Can you just tell me what I did wrong?" I asked.  
>"You should already know that!" You snapped, turning around to face me.<br>"Shut up!" I hissed. "Everyone will hear."  
>"SEE!" You shouted. "That's what you did wrong. You don't care about us, all you care about is what people think and how you don't want them to judge you."<br>"Oh, Danny." I groaned. "If I could tell the whole world I would but-"  
>"Go on then!" you interrupted me. "Go up there and tell Emma everything."<br>"You're just making it harder on yourself." I sighed.  
>"What?"<br>"Alright then! Why don't you go tell Becky?" I suddenly shouted. "You won't will you? You're waiting for me to leave Emma first." You didn't reply, just stared at me blankly.  
>"You know what? I really don't want to do this anymore." I told you. "You're just a selfish idiot. I don't know why I fell in love with you." Your eyes searched me up and down, stripping me from all of my defenses.<br>"Do what you want." You shrugged.  
>"I am." I paused. "Don't think you can stop me."<br>"I won't." You laughed. "Go on back to your perfect little girlfriend and live happily ever after."  
>"Why are you doing this?"<br>"I'm not doing anything. You're doing it." You laughed again. "It's pretty obvious that you didn't want this to work from the beginning. You just saw it as a little fling. It's all a one way street really, I'd do anything for you but you wouldn't do the same for me."  
>"I don't see you trying your hardest to make me happy." I managed to choke out. "Otherwise you would have finished it with Becky. You've had so many opportunities but you never took them."<br>"Because I know you'll never leave Emma." You shouted. "Come on. Just admit it."  
>"Maybe I won't." I spat. I actually surprised myself words. "I've known her since I was five years old."<br>"It doesn't make a difference. If you really loved me, you would be able to leave her in the blink of an eye." You snapped.  
>"Is this because of what happened with Tom and Harry?"<br>"I just got the feeling that you didn't want me as much as I wanted you." You replied. "If that's the case, I'd much rather be with Becky than you."  
>"You're a hypocrite."<br>"Okay." You shrugged.  
>"That's it then… it's over." I said slowly, not wanting to believe what was happening. You have no idea how much it broke my heart to see you so relaxed about it all, like you weren't even bothered. "Right…" I said hesitantly before walking away. I walked slowly, hopelessly waiting for you to tell me to come back, for you to hold me in my arms and tell me you were sorry and that you didn't mean anything you had said before, for you to tell me that you would love me no matter what and would stay by my side until I was ready to tell everyone about us. But you didn't, you let me walk away.<p>

"Emma?" I whispered when I reached my room finally. "Emma, wake up." I shook her arm gently while getting back in to bed next to her.  
>"Huh?" Emma answered sleepily. Her face had a confused expression. "What time is it?"<br>"It's still early, babe. You can go back to sleep in a minute soon." I said in to her ear with a smile on my face.  
>"What's up?" She yawned.<br>"I was just thinking… do you remember when we were talking about getting a place of our own?" I asked her. She nodded sleepily.  
>"Well, do you want to start looking for apartments later?" I suggested. She immediately snapped out of tiredness.<br>"Really?" She sat up quickly.  
>"Well, yeah." I laughed nervously, scratching the back of my neck.<br>"That would be amazing! Just like we always planned we would!" She smiled widely. "Then it will be just me and you at last. I'm so happy! I love you so much Dougie Lee Poynter." She hugged me tightly.  
>"Well good because I aren't paying for an apartment for you to just leave me later." I joked. I kissed her lightly and felt a warm feeling fuzz up inside of me. Maybe once we moved out, I would finally be able to start moving on from you. Despite the happy feeling inside, it didn't feel right, something was missing and that something was you.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.

Danny's P.O.V

Why did I let you walk away that day? I shouldn't have let you go. If I hadn't have done that, I wouldn't be in the situation I was in now, I wouldn't have to leave you when we finally got the chance to be together. If only I hadn't been so selfish, we could still be together now. We could have been happy. All I had to do was wait until you were ready to tell which I knew would come eventually but I let you down and I'm sorry for that.

"So… you and Doug are over then?" Tom asked, walking in to the living room where I was sat alone. It was the morning after you and Emma told everyone that you were moving in together. That was a great way to tear a man's heart in two, Dougie.  
>"You'd love that wouldn't you?" I spat coldly. I was unfair to him but I couldn't help it, I was hurting.<br>"No!" Tom defended himself. "If it was you both wanted then I'm okay with it."  
>"Don't give me that bullshit now, Tom. You didn't seem to be all for it before." I replied harshly. "Anyway, you don't need to worry, we're done now anyway."<br>"Why? What happened?" he asked me softly. "Talk to me. Please Danny." He sat down beside me.  
>"I don't really know." I replied honestly.<br>"Maybe it's good, you know. Maybe it's for the best."  
>"Yeah, maybe." I sighed. "But.. I've never felt like it before."<br>"What about with Becky?" Tom asked. "You must feel things for her, you're still with her."  
>"Yeah." I shrugged. "I want to believe it will work."<br>"Don't stay with her if you don't want her." Tom reasoned. "She doesn't deserve that."  
>"I already know that!" I snapped. "I don't want to hurt because I really do love her. I loved her the minute I saw her, she's the only woman I've ever loved."<br>"And where does Dougie fit in to all of this?" Tom asked. "You can't have them both Danny. You have to choose, Dougie or Becky."  
>"I can't have Dougie." I said this to myself more than to Tom. "So that must mean I have to have Becky."<br>"Danny, it doesn't work like that…"  
>"What do you know? I'm going out." I stood up and walked out of the house without a look back, I just had to get away from it all. However, I only got as far as the driveway before I ran in to more trouble. You pulled up with Emma sat in the seat next to you and you both got out together, both laughing and giggling and just generally having fun, just like we used to.<p>

"Oh, hi Danny." Emma smiled, it made feel sick.  
>"Hi, did you have a good day?" I forced a smile.<br>"Yeah." You slung your arm around her shoulder and kissed her cheek, obviously trying to prove a point. "We bought an apartment."  
>"Actually, we were thinking." Emma interrupted. "You and Becky could move in to one of the other apartments that are for sale on the street and Tom and Harry can move in to the other. It's be great."<br>"Wow. What a wonderful idea." I said a little too happily. "Let's all do that and live happily ever after."  
>"Okay…"<br>"Look. I'm sorry, I've got to go." I nodded at her as if to say goodbye and continued walking out on to the street. You only went and came after me didn't you? I don't know why you did that when just a few seconds earlier you were all lovey-dovey with Emma.

"You know, you don't have to act like a bastard to everyone Danny." You shouted to me. I spun around immediately. "You're just making yourself look pathetic." I began to walk towards you.  
>"I can act however I want." I snapped. "You are no longer a significant part of my life and I am free to do what I want."<br>"What I'm trying to say is that Emma has done nothing wrong to you. You don't have to act like a patronizing twat to her, she doesn't deserve that. Actually, neither of us do so why don't you just stop feeling sorry for yourself and grow up." You smiled sarcastically and turned to walk away but I pulled you back.  
>"You don't have any clue as to how I'm feeling in here, do you?" I asked, pointing a finger at my chest.<br>"If it feels anything like what I feel, I pity you." You hissed. Then you turned around and without a look back, you walked away. Back to Emma.

That night was the night that I realized I had to forget about you, get over you and move on. You were never really going to commit yourself to me. You would never actually leave Emma, you loved her too much. I had to leave all that we were in the past.

"Why hello there stranger." Becky smiled as I walked back in to the house.  
>"Hi honey." I smiled warmly. "What's that I smell?"<br>"I'm cooking… oh, who am I kidding? I got a takeaway." She blushed. I laughed at her trying to remember the last time she had made me laugh. It felt nice to finally be able to be like I used to around her.  
>"Where's everyone else?"<br>"They've gone out. We've got the whole house to ourselves." She smiled, putting her hand on mine and taking me in to the kitchen.  
>"Ok." I nodded. "Listen…I'm sorry for being such a dickhead."<br>"Danny… don't…" Becky sighed.  
>"No, please, I have to." I took her hand in mine and kissed it softly. "I love you so much and I know I haven't been showing it these past few weeks but I do, I really do and I'm so happy I have you in my life." I looked up at her and she had tears in her eyes.<br>"I love you too, Danny." She grinned at me. "Now, let's eat." She forgave me way too easily.

That night was one of the happiest times I had had in a long time, that didn't involve you. For the first time in what felt like years, I was close to Becky again, just like the old times. The only times that you crossed my mind was when she left the room, somehow she made me forget all about you and the only thing that mattered to me in those moments was her. I think my heart was trying to numb the pain of you leaving and she was giving it a helping hand.

That night, me and Becky made love for the first time in ages and I hate to admit this but I enjoyed it…a lot. I needed that, Dougie, because I felt loved, I felt wanted like I did with you and it made me feel happy inside. Not once in that night did I think of you again, Becky managed to wash all my love for you away and it felt great, I felt free even if only lasted until I saw you again the next day.

I know I probably ruined any chances of us getting back together in that one night because I knew that no matter how much I loved you, I would never, ever stop loving Becky and I'm sorry to say this but I wouldn't take back anything that happened that night.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

Dougie's P.O.V

"So, are we all ready to go?" Emma asked me. I took one look around my old room, Emma and I were moving out, it was a few weeks before you and the others were due to move. I hadn't spoken to you since that day when we were in the street after you had been horrible to Emma, that was three months ago. I just found it much easier to ignore you than talk to you, I only spoke to you when I had to because as far as I was concerned, I was putting everything that happened between us behind me and starting a new life with Emma.  
>"Yeah, I think so." I smiled.<br>"Are you ready for this?" Emma asked, wrapping her arms around my waist.  
>"Definitely. Why else would I have gone ahead with it?" I smiled.<br>"Okay but are you sure that you'll be okay with moving away from the guys? I mean, you guys have gotten so used to living together that it might be little too weird for you. If you want to wait, I'm fine with that." Emma told me and to be honest, the offer did sound tempting but I couldn't just change my mind, I had to go through with it.  
>"No, no. I'm 100 percent certain that I want to do this." I shook my head as if to make my point even clearer. "Why? Do you not want to go?"<br>"Of course I want to, silly." Emma laughed. "It was just in case you couldn't find the right words to tell me."  
>"Oh right, well, I'm okay, honestly." I hugged her.<br>"Okay, I'll be downstairs, you come down in a minute, okay?" I nodded and kissed her before watching her walk out of the door. Before she walked out, she stopped in the doorway and turned back to look at me. "Are you sure this is what you want?"  
>"Yes! Now stop worrying, I do want this." I laughed. Inside I hated the fact that I was still lying to her. Of course it wasn't what I wanted. How could I cope not being in the same house as you? What I really wanted was for you to tell me to stay and that you love me and then kiss me. I knew you would never do that though because you had too much pride, you wouldn't want to ruin all of that by begging me to stay.<p>

I was snapped out of my daydream by a knock on the door. "Come in." I called. When the door opened I saw that it was you stood behind it. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?" I spat a little too harshly.  
>"I was just wondering if…" You stepped into the doorway and shut the door behind you. "I was just wondering if you might want this back." You chucked me a T-Shirt that I caught and looked at.<br>"I've been looking for this for ages." I said, not looking up from the T-shirt.  
>"Yeah, well… I found I under my bed and I thought you might want it back." You looked down at your feet nervously. "I see you're all packed."<br>"Yeah, we're just waiting for the removal vans and then we're off." You nodded your head slowly.  
>"Becky and I decided to take Emma's advice and we're going to be moving in to one of those houses. Start over, you know?" I didn't understand why you were talking to me about these things but I went along with it anyway.<br>"Erm…" You paused, looking like you knew what you were going to say but you didn't know how to say it or were too scared to say it. "Do you think maybe, we could forget about what happened and kind of start again? We've got a lot of band things to get through and it we aren't good then… well, let's just say it won't be easy."  
>"Yeah." I nodded. I completely forgot about what was supposed to happening that day because I was way too busy trying to stop myself from crying.<br>"So are we mates again?" You asked.  
>"Yeah." I nodded. You put your hand out to shake mine but I just stared at it. I didn't want to touch you because I knew if I did, it would make all the feelings I had finally managed to push aside come rushing back. But then you began to move your hand away and my heart took over once again so I grabbed it. We kept our hands locked together for way longer than necessary, both of us just staring at them and waiting for the other to make a move. I heard a noise outside the door and snapped out of the daze I was in, pulling my hand away. The second I did that, I noticed the spark of happiness disappear from your eyes that were staring down at the empty space where my hand once was before dropping your own hand down to your side.<br>"Right… well…have fun at your new place." You choked, swallowing your tears.  
>"Danny, I…"<br>"DANNY!" We heard Becky call form the bathroom that was attached to your bedroom.  
>"Carry on." You whispered, trying your hardest to ignore her.<br>"DANNY!" She shouted again.  
>"Never mind. Go to Becky, it sounds important." I smiled a weak smile and pointed to the door. You ran out of the door quickly leaving me alone in my room, thinking about all the things I should have said in that conversation but I never did.<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

Danny's P.O.V

"Becky?" I shouted as I ran in to the room that Becky and I shared. I got no answer. "Becky, where are you?"  
>"I'm in here." I heard her whisper from the bathroom.<br>"What's wrong…oh." I walked in to the bathroom to see Becky sat on the edge of the bath holding a white stick that was most definitely a pregnancy test. "Is it positive?" I managed to choke out.  
>"I'm so sorry Danny. We've only just managed to get us back on track again and now this… I don't know what to do." She cried. I was so shocked, how could this have happened so soon? I wasn't going to show her how scared I was about this though because I wanted to support her. I sat down next to her on the edge of the bathtub and put my arm around her.<br>"You don't have anything to be sorry about. I know this isn't the ideal time for us right now but we can make it work, it'll be great. These last few months have been more amazing than ever and us having a baby together shouldn't change a thing. Things can only get better from here, Becky. It's only the beginning for us." I assured her.  
>"Oh, Danny. I don't think you understand how happy I am. I was so scared that you would leave me or something." She laughed.<br>"Leave you? Why would I do that? I love you so much and I promise that I won't be going anywhere." I actually meant that at the time. "Both you and our baby are my top priorities now."  
>"Good because you can't ever leave me Danny." She pleaded. "I can't do this alone."<br>"Nothing in this world could possibly make me leave you, especially not now when we are so happy together." I promised her. This moment will explain to you why I had to go, Dougie, this is something that you won't understand unless you are in a situation like this. That's why, I can't really say anything else.  
>"Should we tell them now?" Becky asked, suddenly looking a lot perkier.<br>"Now?" I squeaked and she nodded enthusiastically.  
>"Yeah. Dougie and Emma are moving out today so we might not get another chance, come on." She grabbed my hand and pulled me down towards the kitchen where you and the rest of them were sat. I literally felt sick to the stomach. How could I tell you this? Telling you would be like when I told you that your lizard had died, only a million times worse. This would be ruling out any possibilities of us ever getting back together. This would crush you and break your heart and I don't want to be the one to cause you that pain.<p>

We reached the kitchen, hand in hand and everyone looked up at us, including you, I could feel your eyes burning into me as I purposefully avoided your gaze.  
>"Oh, good you're all here." Becky said excitedly.<br>"Y-yeah." I stuttered. "Great."  
>"We have something amazing to tell everyone!" Everyone started at her, waiting for her to reveal the amazing news. I smiled at her nervously and nodded for her to carry on. She opened her mouth to talk but stopped before screaming out, "I'M PREGNANT!"<br>"OH MY GOD!" Emma was the only one who reacted in that way. She ran over to Becky and hugged her tightly and they were squealing like girls always do when they receive good news. Tom and Harry were staring at me, I knew it without even looking at them, I knew what they were thinking and I found it too awkward to look back at them.  
>"Congratulations." Tom said, looking at Becky and not me. You stood up suddenly, causing your chair to go crashing to the floor and making us all flinch, then you stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind you. There was silence for a few seconds before Becky spoke.<br>"What was all that about?"  
>"I don't know. I'll go and talk to him." Emma offered, getting up to leave. I grabbed her arm to stop her from going any further.<br>"No… I'll go." I told her.  
>"No thank you, Danny. I'm perfectly capable of asking my boyfriend if he is okay."<br>"Please, you'll regret it." I begged her.  
>"What in the world are you going on about?"<br>"Just leave him, please." I began to sound desperate.  
>"Danny? What's wrong? Why can't she go talk to him?" Becky asked but I ignored her.<br>"Oh for God's sake, I'm going up to him." She pulled her arm away from mine and walked out of the room. I tried to run after her but Harry pulled me back.  
>"Danny, let it happen." He told me. I went limp in his arms, suddenly out of breath. I knew I had to get out of there, I had to escape with Becky so that she didn't find out about me and Dougie, I knew he would be telling her about it upstairs but for some reason I didn't move. I stood there, waiting for the inevitable to happen.<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

Dougie's P.O.V

I stormed out of the kitchen without thinking about the consequences. I don't think I was thinking at all to be honest. The only my brain could focus on was you and Becky, how happy you'd been making her while I've been dying inside because of you. I shoved the door to my room open with so much strength and force that it almost swung right off of its hinges. Pretty much the same as me then, I was swinging off of my hinges. I picked up one of the boxes that hadn't been taped shut and threw it across the room causing all of the contents to go crashing all over the floor. It still didn't help get rid of my anger so I kicked over a few more boxes and purposely crushed the contents that sprawled out on the floor, not really caring what it was that I was breaking. After all, my heart had been broken without a care, hadn't it?  
>"DOUGIE!" I heard Emma scream from the door way. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THAT'S OUR STUFF!" I completely ignored her cried, blocked her out completely and pushed other yet another box, this one was full of framed pictures which I stood on and watched them shatter into tiny pieces. I imagined that was how my heart looked at that moment.<br>"STOP!" Emma screamed. She grabbed my arm in an attempt to calm me down but I pushed her off so hard that she came crashing down to the floor. I didn't even care at that moment in time, that's how far gone I was. Next I grabbed the chest of drawers and sent it crashing to the floor with a loud thud.  
>"What are you doing?" Emma sobbed, her voice was now much quieter. She was still sat on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest, crying into them. I didn't feel any kind of sympathy towards her.<br>"I DON'T KNOW!" I shouted to her. "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL ANYMORE!"  
>"Please, Dougie, you're scaring me… calm down, please." She whispered. She stood herself up again slowly and reached out for me.<br>"No!" I stepped away from her. "Don't touch me. I don't want you anywhere near me!"  
>"Why? What have I done wrong?" She whimpered. I gave a shout of anger and punched the wall, imaging it was Emma and Becky but more than anything else, I imagined it was you.<p>

"STOP IT!" She screamed. She was hysterical by this point, the tears wouldn't stop running down her face and her breathing was becoming uneven. I just wanted to tell her everything, I wanted her to know because I didn't want to have to keep the secret any longer, it was killing me.  
>"Don't you get it? Don't you understand?" I sounded so unlike me, so bitter and twisted and evil. My heart had taken over, the one thing that I had sworn would never happen. My love for you had control over me making me feel like I had nothing left lose. Because of this reason I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I DON'T FUCKING LOVE YOU!" I made my point loud and clear. "And I don't think I ever have." I added a little quieter. Emma just stared at me in silence, blinking every-so-often. I could see the tears begin to form in her eyes as my words sunk in to her brain. I could see in her eyes that I was crushing her, making her whole world fall in on her. I didn't feel guilty though, the only thing I felt was pure anger, more anger than I had ever felt before.<br>"What do you mean?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper now.  
>"Are you thick or something? I've been pretending! I've been lying to you for way too long now. Do you hate me? Please hate me, that way I won't feel as bad about hating you!" I felt that same anger boiling up inside me. I wanted her to scream and hit me so that I could hit her back. I wanted to break something else but there was nothing left whatsoever.<br>"But we're moving… I thought…" She suddenly burst into an uncontrollable fit of tears. Again, instead of feeling guilty, I felt satisfied. I wanted to make her feel even more pain, I wanted to hurt her so much that she would be beyond repair.  
>"All of this." I continued, gesturing around the room. "Isn't real, Emma. All of this is to try and force myself to feel something for you again. It's all a big fucking lie." I stood there and watched her cry.<p>

"What are you talking about?" She screamed. "I don't understand."  
>"How many times do I have to say it? I don't love you." I said the sentence like you talk to a child when you are teaching them how to talk, slow and dragging out the words. "I aren't who you think I am, Emma."<br>"Please. Can't you just tell me that you don't mean any of this?" She begged.  
>"But I do! Can't you see that yet?" I shouted impatiently. "I literally feel sick when I'm around you." I spat harshly. It wasn't until I said those words that I actually realized that they were true.<br>"No…" She sunk to the floor and caged herself away from me once again. I looked at her feeling relieved in a weird way. I felt better knowing that someone was finally hurting as much as I had been for the past few months. "Why are you doing this?" She looked at me desperately. "Why is this happening?"  
>"I don't love you." I said a little calmer. "That's why." I couldn't bring myself to tell her the whole story even though I wanted to so badly, I just started to feel a bit guilty, not for her but for you. Becky was going to start asking questions and she'll find out, it'll ruin everything for you.<br>"You can't just fall out of love with someone. There must be another reason." She pleaded. "And if you haven't ever loved me, why the fuck did you bring me here?"  
>"I don't know." That question was a good question. I had wanted her to live here so much and I was convinced I loved her until I met you. I never experienced so much immense love for her as I had for you, so why did I let her move in with us? I don't know.<br>"You don't know! How can you not know?" She suddenly shouted. "You better start telling me everything right now, Dougie and by everything, I mean everything!"  
>"Fine!" I snapped. "There's someone else, okay? Are you glad I told you now?"<br>"What?" She whimpered. "Y-you cheated on me?"  
>"Yeah." I spat. "What? I thought you wanted to know everything."<br>"I'm such an idiot. I believed you would never do that to me, I trusted you."  
>"Do you think I'm proud of it?" I shouted. "I fell in love…"<br>"YOU LOVE HER!" She screamed, cutting me off. "Oh my God. I can't actually believe this. I stood up for you… I mean, Danny was hinting about it but I didn't believe him. How could I be so stupid? All along I thought you were covering up for Danny but it was the other way around…"  
>"Not exactly…" I muttered. I was actually starting to feel a little bit guilty at that moment. I mean, I had never planned to intentionally hurt Emma and I didn't actually understand why I was doing it.<br>"Tell me then! What do you mean by not exactly?" She screamed. Her eyes were now free from tears and full with red hot anger.  
>"I can't." And then I added quietly, hoping that she wouldn't hear. "It would ruin everything to him."<br>"Him? Who's him?" She snapped.  
>"Emma, please…" I whispered. I looked at her as she suddenly realized what I meant.<br>"You… you can't be… no… you're not." She was unable to form her sentences properly.  
>"I didn't want you to know, Emma." I cried desperately. "I didn't even want to know myself. I just wanted to be able to love you like I love him. I want everything to go normal again."<br>"You're gay." She finally managed to say. She stood up and staggered backwards until she ran in to the wall. I winced and looked around the room, taking in all of the pain I'd caused, all of the pain you and I had caused. I never meant for things to go this far, not really.  
>"Y-yes." I stuttered. I took a deep breath. "I'm gay."<br>"WHO?" She shouted. As I looked at her, I noticed her face change as reality dawned on her. "Oh no. Don't tell me it's…" I couldn't really deny it now could I? She'd guessed it so I looked at her sadly and nodded.  
>"Danny." She whispered before getting up and running out of the room at lightning speed. I went to grab her but I was too late, she was heading down stairs where everyone was waiting for us.<br>"EMMA WAIT! PLEASE!" I shouted after her but it didn't work, the damage was done.


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been working on my other fic - The Immortals - and I've been on **

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><p><span>Chapter 17<span>

It all happened way too quickly. One second we were all listening to the loud noise upstairs; the banging, the screaming, the crying. Becky had long since given up on trying to get answers and had taken up sitting at the table with her head in her hands, probably annoyed that the announcement of her pregnancy wasn't being celebrated. She didn't have to know why you two were screaming at each other. What was it that was keeping me there? Like some kind of mystical force pulling me toward my fate, I sort of wanted it though. Then, out of nowhere, Emma came bursting into the room and smashed into me at full force, sending me crashing into the table below me. I heard Becky's girlish scream when the table she was leaning on collapsed in front of he with me on top of it. Before I even knew what was happening, Emma was being dragged off of me with her arms and legs flailing, trying to get at least one hit on me. Harry and Tom were holding onto them as tightly as they could but I could tell that they were struggling. My head was spinning, I felt dizzy but I managed to slowly get to my feet and regain my balance.  
>"HOW COULD YOU DO IT?" Emma screamed, her voice was ringing in my ears but to be honest, I hardly even knew what she said. Tom and Harry were still holding on to her to prevent from doing any more damage. Then I saw you appear in the doorway, your hands shaking and you face paler than I'd ever seen it before. I instantly knew that you had told her. I looked at her, not knowing how to answer her question.<br>"YOU'VE RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE!" She screamed again. She managed to break free from Tom and Harry's grip and launched towards to me, getting ready to attack me once again but this time, I was ready for it. When she pushed herself into me, her arms hitting me repeatedly in the chest, I grabbed her wrist tightly and twisted. A slight gasp left her lips but I didn't stop, I kept twisting, harder and harder, a whimper escaped her lips and a few stray tears rolled slowly down her cheeks. I could see that she was forcing herself not to beg. I was enjoying it, enjoying making her suffer, enjoying watching her in pain. She tried to use her other arm to push my hand from her wrist but I grabbed it and held it down by her waist. The silence in the room didn't last very long.

"Danny!" Becky shouted. "Let her go! What do you think you're doing?"  
>"Stop it!" Harry also called, his voice was a slightly higher pitch than normal.<br>"Danny, you're hurting her!" Tom began to panic. I didn't listen to any of them though. All of the pain that I'd blamed on her had taken over my mind and body. She had always had what I wanted and now that I had the chance to hurt her like I was constantly hurting, I didn't want to miss it. I tightened my grip and she began to beg under her breath, she was in too much pain to form proper words.  
>"Please stop!" You cried, I looked at you as tears poured down your cheeks. "Can't you see? You're hurting her. Danny, please let her go." You begged. I stared into your eyes, full of heartbreak and sadness and I knew that I had to listen to you. You were the only person that could control me at that point, the only person that could overcome all of my anger and pain. So I let go. I watched her fall to the floor, crying and holding her wrist delicately. Tom fell to the floor beside in order to comfort her and she collapsed into his arms, like a child would do.<br>"WHAT IS GOING ON?" Becky suddenly screamed. She was on her feet now, her eyes darting between me and Emma, every time she looked at me, she looked horrified and I had to look away. I wasn't ready for any of this.  
>"Becky…" I managed to choke out. "Let's go."<br>"No! Not unless I find out what's going on here." She shouted, stepping away from me quickly as I stepped towards her. She looked absolutely terrified of me and to be honest, she had every right to be after she had just seen what I did to Emma. "What am I missing? Why did you do that to Emma? What's the matter with you, Danny?"  
>"There's nothing wrong. I'm fine." I told her. "We need to go. Come on."<br>"Do you want me to tell her? I'll tell her if neither of you want to do it." Emma managed to steady herself again, with the help of Tom. Her eyes were still glistening with tears but they were no longer full of pain, just anger. Pure anger.  
>"Emma, please." I begged. "Don't."<br>"And why should anything for you, Danny Jones?" She laughed bitterly and a little shakily.  
>"Because it's the right thing to do." I reasoned with her softly. "If you do this, you're going to hurt a lot of people… do you really want to cause all that pain?"<br>"YOU caused all the pain!" Emma shouted, pointing her finger at me. "If you think I'm going to spare you even the tiniest bit of pain, you are sadly mistaken."  
>"Pain?" I laughed harshly and bitterly. "Believe me, you have no idea what pain feels like Emma. You know what? I'm glad I've ruined your life. I'm glad you're heartbroken. At least then you know what it feels like to be me. It hurts doesn't it? Knowing you can't have the one thing you more than anything in the world. You can feel your heart breaking into a thousand pieces and no matter what you do or say the pain won't go away. It makes you feel hollow and worthless. Every single time you smile, it's fake to cover up how dead and alone you feel. That's what my life is like; it's one big heartbreak full of misery and sadness."<br>"Danny!" Becky gasped, obviously hurt by my words. "What are you saying? What's wrong with you?" I didn't look at her. In fact, I didn't look at anyone; I kept my eyes on the floor. Trying my hardest to keep my anger inside. All the anger and pain that I had managed to keep inside since I lost you was about to spill out. I knew you were still stood in the doorway, I could sense you but I didn't dare look your way. I couldn't decide if I loved you or hated you right then.

"You two knew, didn't you?" Emma asked Tom and Harry.  
>"Yeah. We're sorry." Tom bowed his head. "We wanted to tell you but…"<br>"No!" Harry interrupted. "I wanted to tell you. Tom wanted to 'help'" Harry told her.  
>"Shut up, Harry." Tom elbowed him. "This isn't our argument."<br>"Yeah, it isn't your argument. So why don't you both shut up?" I snapped at them. I had to put my anger somewhere and Tom seemed like the easiest target.  
>"WHY DON'T YOU TELL BECKY, YOUR PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND, WHAT'S GOING ON!" Tom shouted loudly. I was actually scared for a second because I'd never heard Tom shout like that before apart from when he wanted food. I wasn't used to it.<br>"Yes!" Becky shouted. "Please, can someone tell me what is happening here because you all know something that I don't and I really want to know. Dougie?" She looked over at you for an answer but you backed away while shaking your head and accidentally bumping into the wall. You were clearly lost for words and were terrified.  
>"You cowards!" Emma screamed. "If you love each other as much as you say you do, you'd think that you would at least have the decency to tell us in the first place! Come on Danny. Why don't you tell us all so you can go and live with lover boy."<br>"Danny?" Becky spoke slowly. "What is she talking about?"  
>"I really do think it would be best if left now, Becky." I reached for her hand but she pulled it away. "Please, it's for your own good." I whispered so that only she could hear.<br>"You cheated on me, didn't you? Who was it?" She questioned worriedly. "You better tell me right now or someone else will."  
>I looked at you, tears now spilling from eyes. "Why now, Dougie? How come after all of this time, you told her now? Why?"<br>"I love you Danny. I couldn't let you go. I couldn't let you out of my reach forever. I'm so sorry." Then there was silence; I stared at you I shock. I wanted you to prove your love for me and you did, right in front of everyone.  
>"What did you say? Dougie?" Becky stuttered. "I don't understand. D-Danny?" I didn't answer her, I couldn't find the words, I was speechless.<br>"Have you got enough decency to just be honest with her Danny? Can't you just tell her the truth?" Harry spoke harshly. "Why don't I tell her?"  
>"Can someone please just tell me what it going on?" Becky screamed. She knew though. How could she not know after what you had just said?<br>"Danny has been cheating you with Dougie." Harry spoke. I winced at how blunt he was with it, how he just came out with it. "They're gay and they've been going behind our backs for over a year."  
>I forced myself to look at her and the sight broke my heart. She stared at me with so much hurt that I just wanted to tell that it wasn't true, that they were all lying and then go back to how it was before. But I couldn't, I was sick of holding it.<br>"It's true." I whispered. "I'm in love with Dougie. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."  
>"No you're not." She begged. "Y-you wouldn't do that to me. I thought you loved me. I THOUGHT YOU CARED!"<br>"I do care. I'm really sorry." I reached forward to grab her but she stumbled backwards.  
>"Get away from me!" She screamed. "You swore you would never ever leave me. You told me I was everything to you, that I was the only one."<br>"I don't need to leave." I told her. "I want to be able to see my baby."  
>"GET OUT!" She shouted, her voice full of rage. "I don't EVER want to see you again!"<br>"I'm sorry." I tried to put my arms around her. Maybe I thought I could hold on to her. She pushed away though. That was when I knew that it was over. I had lost her completely. I turned around to see you staring back at me. I didn't know which way to turn to, I was torn between the you and trying to make things better but despite the debate that was taking in my head, I found myself towards you.

"I'm sorry, Danny." You mumbled. Then you turned away, your head bowed to the floor. I slowly slipped my hand in to yours and lifted your chin with free hand. I looked in to your eyes before speaking. "Let's go." I whispered. I turned my to watch Tom and Harry comforting the girls.  
>"Are you sure?" You gulped. Your eyes never leaving the sight of Emma and Becky crying because of us.<br>"I think we've done enough here." I sighed. You nodded, dragging your eyes away from the mess we had caused and we walked towards the stairs. We both climbed them silently; I actually felt like I was dragging you up them because you were so limp from the shock of what had just happened between both you and Emma and me and Becky.  
>"Just pack the thing that you're gonna need the most." I said softly. "We can come and get the rest tomorrow, okay?"<br>"But my room is sort of messy." You mumbled. "I got a little bit…" You trailed off.  
>"Just get clothes and shoes. Oh, and a toothbrush. You won't really need anything else." I told you. You smiled slightly and nodded uncertainly, just like a confused child. I wiped a tear that rolled down your cheek with my thumb and then kissed you softly before turning to my room, you did the same thing. The second I walked into my room, I was hit by memories of both you and Becky. I packed anything that I could find and then came across a picture of me and Becky. It was from back when we were happy together. Before I fell in love with you and everything was simple. Back then I was certain that my life was going to be spent with her and nothing could break us apart. How wrong was I? I wiped away a tear that fell down my cheek and threw the picture down onto my bed. I slung the bag over my shoulder and walked out of the room without a second look back. If I did happen to look back, I knew that I wouldn't leave.<p>

"You ready?" I asked you as you came out of your room, also carrying a bag.  
>"Mh-hm." You nodded.<br>"Come on then." I slipped my hand into yours again and led you downstairs and out through the front door. Everyone else was still in the kitchen. We got into my car silently and sat for a few minutes, not saying a word.  
>"Well, I suppose that could have gone a bit better." I made an attempt at sounding light and funny but it came out in a choked voice.<br>"I'm sorry if I've ruined it all for you, Danny. I didn't mean to but I just couldn't bring myself to walk away like that. I need you." You wept.

"Shh. Shh." I stroked my thumb across your soft, wet cheek that was glistening with tears. "Forget it. None of it matters now. We can be together. Just me and you, that's the only thing that matters."  
>"I love you." You squeezed my hand tenderly and met my eyes with your watery, tear-brimmed ones.<br>"I love you too." I smiled. Then you leaned towards me and captured my lips in yours passionately. I kissed you back and just for those few seconds, all of the worries about what we were leaving behind left me and the only people in the world were me and you.

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><p><strong>This isn't the last chapter. They is quite a bit left because I have so many ideas and I also have ideas for a sequel so keep checking:Dxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18.

Dougie's P.O.V

Then we were on our way, we were driving away from our best friends, our entire past. The future was us, just me and you without anything to keep us from each other. The guilt was still with me though, bubbling away in the pit of my stomach, making me feel like I would be sick at any minute. I knew that you were feeling exactly the same because you were sat in silence while you drove, something you rarely did.  
>"Where are we going?" I decided to ask after an hour of driving without us saying a word to each other.<br>"Bolton." You said simply. "My mum will let us stay."  
>"Y-you're really ready to tell her?" I asked uncertainly. You shrugged your shoulders.<br>"Yeah." The thought of telling my mum was the scariest thing I could ever think of. It wasn't because I was scared that she wouldn't accept the fact that I was gay, it was because I was worried about how she would react to leaving Emma behind after I fought so hard to keep her with me. "It's all going to be OK, Doug." You glanced at me quickly before turning your eyes back to the road. "We can stay over at my mum's house for a bit, she won't mind. Then we can get our own place. We're together now."  
>"But…" I stuttered. "W-what about them? W-we j-just left."<br>"Forget about that now." You told me sternly though I couldn't help but feel like you were hiding something. "It's all about us now. Just like it should have been a long, long time ago."  
>"Yeah." I replied weakly. Your words only increased the guilt I was feeling and my stomach was becoming even more uneasy at the thought of meeting your family. I've never had to do the whole meeting the parents thing because Emma was my only girlfriend and she lived next door to me. When we arrived at Danny's mum's house it was dark and starting to rain. I remembered the last time I was here, I'd only been here once before but I was only Danny's weird yet loveable band mate. This time I was his boyfriend, it was going to be a lot different now. I couldn't help but think about whether Danny's family would hate me and blame me for splitting him up with Becky, especially now that she's pregnant.<br>"Come on." You took my hand once we were out of the car and dragged me up to the end of the garden path. "You look like you're going to pass out." You pulled me closer to you making my stomach do somersaults. You stroked my fringe out of my face and kissed my forehead lightly.  
>"Danny. What about your mum? She doesn't even know about us yet." I whispered shakily.<br>"I don't care." You smiled and then you kissed the tip of my nose. "I care about anyone anymore. I don't care what anyone sees. I don't care what anyone thinks. I only care about you, you're the only thing that matters to me now. Just please stop worrying."  
>"Sorry." I mumbled as your lips made their way closer to mine. "I just don't want your family to hate me."<br>"Hate you?" you said with a smile, your lips were mere millimeters away from mine, you chuckled softly which caused your breath to sweep across my face. I groaned slightly, my head was beginning to spin. "How could anyone possibly hate you?" Your lips brushed against mine ever so slightly but I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you forward so our lips crashed together. You gasped in surprise and pleasure. We kissed deeply, our tongues rubbing together as we explored each other. Your hands made their way inside my t-shirt and you rubbed my bare back sending shivers all through my body. Then you placed your hands on my bum and pushed me even further into you, making me gasp. You smiled into the kiss which was deepening. I had completely forgotten where we were. I had forgotten that we were in the middle of the street where anyone could see us. I had forgotten that we were at the bottom of your mum's garden where she could have easily just looked out of the window and saw us. The only thing I could think about was you.  
>"See?" You smiled when you pulled away, though our bodies were still pushed together. "Stop thinking about everything else and do what your heart wants." I nodded as I couldn't do anything else. I was still trying to catch my breath from out moment of passion. You placed a light kiss on my lips before taking my hand and dragging me up the garden path to the front door of your mum's house.<p>

You knocked on the front door, turning to me and smiling slightly but I could tell you nervous. You let my hand drop when we heard the door being unlocked. I didn't feel hurt or rejected though because I understood that you wanted to tell her properly.  
>"Danny!" Your mum screamed with happiness when she saw you. She rushed up to you and wrapped her arms around you, I couldn't help but smile at how happy she was to see you. I could tell you had a close relationship with your mother and I didn't want to be the reason that it ended if she didn't accept us being together.<br>"Hi mum." You laughed and hugged her back tightly. "Do you think we could come in?"  
>"Yes, yes." She let go and smiled at me. "Come on both of you, it's cold and it's starting to rain. Did you ring me? I was just getting ready for bed so I might not have heard." When we entered, I looked around and I was instantly reminded of my own childhood home, I loved it.<br>"No, we didn't ring. Sorry mum." You told her.  
>"Oh, it's fine. Come in to the kitchen. Are you hungry? Dougie, isn't it?" She fussed.<br>"Yeah." I nodded.  
>"We'll eat later, mum." You told her. You looked around the kitchen with a smile on your face, probably remembering all of your memories from when you were younger.<br>"Okay, how are you?" She grinned.  
>"I'm good, thanks." Then you caught my eyes and sighed. "There's kind of a reason why I'm here. I need to tell you something."<br>"I thought there might be." She told you. "I found it weird, you turning up here for no reason."  
>"Yeah well…" You took a deep breath. I really wanted to run over to you and hug you, you looked so nervous.<br>"Danny?" Your mum asked. She took your hand in order to comfort you. "You can tell me anything. You know that, don't you?"  
>"Me and Becky broke up." You whispered. "And she's pregnant…"<br>"What!" You mum shouted.  
>"Wait mum please. There's more." You glanced over at me and I smiled at you, trying my hardest to comfort you. "I'm gay. I'm with Dougie and before you say anything, I love him." You scrunched up your eyes as you spoke bracing yourself for your mum's shouts but she didn't say anything. Her eyes darted to me and I looked away immediately, I couldn't tell what she was thinking and it was killing me. I'm not surprised with how she reacted, it must have been a shock for her. We'd only been in the house for five minutes and we'd dropped that huge bombshell on her. As your mum sat there not blinking and her jaw dropped open and you sat with your head in your hands, I was stood at the back feeling uncomfortable. I knew that I was intruding in on what should have been a mother-son moment, you needed time with her alone so you could sort things out properly.<br>"I think it's best if I w-wait outside." I stuttered. I stood up and headed out of the room quickly but as I passed you, I rested my hand on your shoulder and squeezed it lightly. You looked up at me, smiling through you tears that I knew had been begging to escape for a long time now. "Just take as long as you want, I'll wait upstairs." I whispered to you before walking out of the room and heading up the stairs. It took me two guesses to find which room was yours and when I saw it, I knew it was yours immediately. It had posters of your favorite football team, Bolton Wanderers and also posters of Joss Stone, one of your many crushes from when you were younger. Also, I could see the mouth organ that you had received from Bruce Springsteen who was your inspiration to become a member of a band. I smiled at the toy monkey that was laid on your bed. You had named him Dylan, I remember when you first introduced me to him. I picked him up and slowly sat down on the bed. I didn't feel weird in your room. I didn't feel out of place. I felt normal and comforted because everything around me was yours and only yours. The whole room belonged to you and it made me feel safe and happy know that you were everywhere I looked. I loved it all, even the football posters and that's saying something because I hate football. I placed Dylan back onto your bed and then my phone began to ring. I checked the caller ID and of course it was Tom. I took a deep breath before answering.  
>"Hello?" I spoke into the receiver weakly.<br>"Dougie! Thank God you answered. Where are you?" Tom shouted.  
>"Bolton." I whispered.<br>"You what?"  
>"W-we came to B-Bolton… Look Tom, I can't talk for long…"<br>"Why? How could you just leave like that Doug?" Tom choked. "You can't just crush the girls' hearts and then take off. I mean, what about Emma and what about Becky and the-"  
>"I have to go now Tom." I said bluntly.<br>"Don't you dare hang up on me." Tom hissed. "You can't keep running from everything, you know?"  
>"Bye." I slammed the phone shut and threw it behind me, it landed with a small thud on floor. I couldn't get his words out of my head. Tom was right as always, it was selfish of us to just leave the way we did. I hadn't thought about anything really, I had just followed you. But you were right, there was nothing we could have possibly done to make things better so what was the point in staying? I lay myself down on you bed, waiting for you but you were down there for a few hours so I had a lot of time to myself to think things over. I couldn't hear any shouting or raised voice coming from the kitchen downstairs so I figured that your mum was taking the news reasonably well. I was slowly drifting away into an unwanted sleep. I guess the day's event had really worn me out. Every time my eyes drifted shut, I could see Emma's face and I didn't want to see that, I didn't want to be reminded of her. I couldn't stop myself though because my eyes were getting heavier and closing off their own accord. I heard the bedroom door open and opened my eyes wide enough to see you creeping across the room and crouching at the side of the bed next to me and looking into my eyes.<br>"Sorry, did I wake you up?" You asked, brushing my fringe out of my eyes, something that you liked to do a lot.  
>"No, you didn't." I mumbled. "I'm going to sleep now though."<br>"OK." You chuckled. "You sure don't want to change first?"  
>"No, I'm fine." I smiled. "Just come here." I pulled your arm and lifted the covers up so you could get in to bed beside me. I wrapped my arms around you and rested my head on your chest.<br>"I've want this for so long Doug." You whispered.  
>"What?" I asked sleepily.<br>"To be able to hold you and have you all to myself."  
>"I'm all yours." I mumbled, then I giggled lightly before we both fell into a natural sleep.<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Danny's P.O.V

It was quite early when I woke up with you in my arms, curled into a small ball. The sight of you next to me made me feel so happy. If felt so good to have you there, next to me and we weren't hiding it from anyone or lying to anyone anymore. We were together now and the thought of that made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I had never felt so happy before. Though there was one thing that was always in the back of my mind. Becky, my pregnant ex-girlfriend, the girl who I had sworn I would never leave. The most amazing person in the universe, my whole world, was laid peacefully in my arms but yet I couldn't stop thinking about my future daughter or son. What if I never got the chance to see them? What if they grew up, never knowing who their father was? What if I once bumped into them but I didn't know who it was? Was being with Dougie really worth loosing all of that? Thinking that made me feel nauseous, you were lying in my arms, looking perfect as always, breathing in and out slowly and deeply, I needed you desperately. I don't think you have any idea about how complicated my life was at that moment, how complicated it still is. My mum had given me some advice, she had told me to give Becky time, that if I gave her space she would eventually come around. But how much space was I mean to give her? How much time would I have to give her? When do I go and try to win her over, saying that even though I broke her heart, I still deserve to be a dad? But the question is, do I deserve to be dad? I certainly did feel like I deserved it. I needed you so badly but I needed to be a dad as well. I couldn't see a way that I could possibly have both. I couldn't really, could I?  
>"Dan? Are you awake?" You murmured slightly. I looked at the clock, it was 8am, and then I looked at you.<br>"Yeah." I smiled, you always managed to make me smile. Even when your hair was sticking out at odd angles and your eyes were only halfway open, you still looked perfect to me.  
>"What's so funny? What're you smiling at?" You mumbled sleepily.<br>"Just you." I whispered. "I love you."  
>"That's good." You nodded, too tired to take in anything I was really saying. You closed your eyes again and rested you head on my chest. I put my hand on your head and stroked your soft hair.<br>"I really do love you, you know?" I smiled.  
>"I know. And I really love you too." You smiled back, your eyes still closed. There was silence for a while but not an awkward silence, a silence where I laid there, breathing in your smell. "So, what should we do today?" You asked, opening your eyes properly now but not moving your head from my chest.<br>"Can we just stay here all day?" I asked, not wanting to move from the position we were in, it was my definition of perfect.  
>"But we'd get hungry." You told me.<br>"Oh my God. You and your bloody stomach." I groaned in a way that you could tell was a joke.  
>"Have you realized that we slept the whole night still in our clothes from yesterday?" you asked.I don't why you always pointed out the obvious but I loved it when you did it.<br>"Well, you were the one that wanted me to get me into bed so badly." I teased.  
>"I can't help it if you are so irresistible." you joked.<br>"I know, I know." I patted head sympathetically and you giggled adorably. Your giggle made my insides melt like ice-cream on a hot day.  
>"So, how did things go with your mum?" You asked after you managed to compose yourself.<br>"It went great actually." I nodded. "She's fine with everything. I mean, she's shocked about Becky being pregnant but other than that, she's absolutely fine. She want to get to know you."  
>"Really?" You instantly lit up and grinned. "That's a relief." You sighed. "So... do you think we could get something to each now. My stomach keeps rumbling." I groaned.<br>"I know. I can hear it." I lied.  
>"No you can't because it isn't even rumbling." You smiled triumphantly.<br>"Oh no. You got me." I said sarcastically. "Come on then." I grabbed you hand and pulled you off of the bed with me.

The rest of the day was difficult. Mum was really great around you so it wasn't because of her. In fact, she was being so unbelievably natural around you, she was never like that with Becky. She asked you questions and I could see that you were gradually starting to feel more and more at home. By the time the end of the day came, you were both laughing and joking. It wasn't you either, you were perfect as usual. We laughed, kissed, hugged and did everything else that couples should do. Though, throughout all of the day, I couldn't get rid of all of those unanswerable questions, they were constantly in the back of my mind. Even though I was hiding them, they were always haunting me. What would Becky do now? Did she still hate me? Was she even keeping the baby? By the time night came, I'd managed to depress myself completely with all of the thoughts about Becky and the baby and Tom and Harry. But mostly Becky and the baby. I absolutely hated the thought of her hating me, I didn't want that, it broke my heart.  
>"Danny?" You asked after you noticed that I had been silent for a while."What's the matter?"<br>"What? Oh, it's nothing." I shook my head and looked away from you.  
>"Come on, Danny." You frowned but it didn't make you look mean, it just made you look so adorable.<br>"I'm just thinking." I told you. "About everything, you know?"  
>"Yeah." You nodded in agreement. "I've been thinking about it all day."<br>"Have you really?" I asked, my smile was the first genuine smile that I had done since this morning.  
>"Yeah. Tom rang last night while you were downstairs with your mum but I didn't tell you because you seemed like you were happy about everything with your mum." You mumbled.<br>"What did he say?"  
>"Well, he sort of said that we couldn't run away from everything." you groaned and rubbed your hands over your face.<br>"What did you say?"  
>"I hung up." You shrugged. "I couldn't talk to him, Danny. I couldn't because he's right, isn't he? We are running away, aren't we?"<br>"No." I told you firmly. "He had no right to say those things to you. He doesn't have a single clue about what we've been through. It's not our fault that we fell in love. I know it could have been dealt with a bit better but..."  
>"But that's not it all is it?" You groaned, staring in to my eyes, pleading with me to open up to you but I couldn't do that. My thoughts would hurt you way more that I want them to. "What about Becky and the-"<br>"Dougie!" I snapped. You flinched slightly and I saw in your eyes that you hoped I hadn't seen it but I had. I sighed and calmed down before talking again. "Please, let's not talk about all of this right now. I'm off to get a drink. You want anything?" You shook your head weakly and laid your head down on the pillow slowly and delicately. You looked so worn out and it broke my heart to see you like that. I turned around and walked out of the room to the kitchen. I wasn't even actually thirsty, I just didn't want to talk about things. I didn't want to have to tell you about what I was thinking about and I knew that you could make me do that with just a few simple and persuasive words. I didn't want you to know about my doubts, my fears and the fact that I was completely torn between you and Becky. I know I was constantly telling you about how nothing could ever break us apart when we were together but it seems that now it finally happened, I was wrong. There was one thing and one thing only that could potentially tear us apart.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Dougie's P.O.V

I got hardly any sleep that night even though you were lying there next to me, making my heart flutter every time I looked at you. I just couldn't get rid of all of my negative thoughts. Why wouldn't you talk to me about the baby? You had the chance to put my mind to rest but you chose to make me feel even more confused. I didn't know if that meant that you didn't care or you cared too much. Either way it was bad, if you didn't care, that means that there was no point in us and if you cared to much, that means that you were hiding something from me because you knew it would hurt me. I was hurting, I wanted you to be able to tell me anything and everything instead of hiding it all.  
>I couldn't help it but I kept thinking of Emma, it made me feel so guilty because I was with you now, I was supposed to putting all of that behind me and just focusing on us. The thing is, I was already missing her a lot more than I thought I would; she'd always been my rock, the one person who had always been there no matter what. I guess I'd never seen it before, I took it for granted but now that she's gone it's just weird. Knowing that me and Emma may never ever speak again just made me feel like a huge part of me was missing. A part that even you couldn't help to fill.<br>So I snuck out of bed, hoping that I wouldn't wake you up and picked my mobile up from the bedside table. I quietly tiptoed my way to the bathroom, I had to ring them, I needed to know how she was. I wouldn't be able to act normal with you if I didn't know.  
>I slowly dialled Tom's number, not bothering to go to the phonebook because I'd had it memorized for about a year and half by that point. I knew that Tom would be the only one that would give me a chance to explain, he cared about us and I knew that, why else would he have called to ask us where we were?<br>"Dougie?" Tom answered after just two rings.  
>"Yeah." I murmured, sitting on the edge of the bath. "Sorry, did I wake you up?" I asked realizing it was 7:30am, still early.<br>"No, no. I've been up for about half an hour." He said but he still sounded tired, worn out almost. "Are you still in Bolton?" I nodded in response to his question before realizing he couldn't actually see me.  
>"Y-yeah." I stuttered. "Look Tom, I'm sorry about hanging up on you the last ti-"<br>"Forget about it!" He interrupted me.  
>"Ok." I choked. "I-I just wanted to… I mean I…"<br>"What is it, Dougie." Tom yawned.  
>"Tom, don't be like that. Please don't be angry with me." I begged. I just wanted to Tom to sound like Tom again. The guy on the other side of the call sounded cold and uninterested. This wasn't the Tom I knew.<br>"Angry with you?" Tom said. "I'm not angry with you. I fucking furious! You know, I hope you're both having a great time up there in Bolton because this house has turned to hell." I rushed to wipe away the tears that had managed to fall without me knowing. I sniffed pathetically. I couldn't help it though, I just wanted my best friend to like me again.  
>"Oh, stop crying." Tom told me, his voice softer now. "Don't you think I should be the one who's crying? I mean, I haven't slept an wink in ages and I feel like I have a huge hangover when in all honesty I haven't drank a single ounce of alcohol in weeks." I giggled slightly through my tears that were now falling from my eyes at a fast speed.<br>"Please Dougs, just come home." He sounded like he was holding back tears. "Danny as well. Please don't disappear."  
>"W-we can't, Tom." I sobbed slightly.<br>"Why not?"  
>"How can we? We want to be together but there Emma and Becky and then there's the baby…" My voice trailed off. "Understand, please."<br>"But what about the band?" Tom exclaimed. "And what about me and Harry? We love you, we're your best friends and we want you here with us."  
>"Harry doesn't, he hates us." I mumbled.<br>"No he doesn't." He told me firmly. "He's just hurting, that's all." Though from the sound of his voice, he didn't sound too convinced.  
>"Listen, we're just gonna stay here for a little while, okay? We'll wait until things cool down a bit and then we'll come back."<br>"Alright. How come you rang anyway?" Tom asked, his voice returning to the cold, unrecognizable tone.  
>"I-I wanted to ask how Emma's doing." I almost whispered. At first I wasn't entirely certain that he'd heard me. Until I heard his sigh at the other side of the phone line. I could easily tell he was sat down at the kitchen table, he always did when he was on the phone, no matter what the situation was. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine it, I loved that house, we had had so much fun in it and I missed it so much. It was so full of a amazing memories and now I doubted we would ever go back there.<p>

"She's heartbroken. She completely crushed." He finally told me. "I can't even begin to explain how she's been."  
>"But does she hate me though?"<br>"No she doesn't hate you." Tom sighed. "She loves you, you know she loves you Doug."  
>"God. I know." I had to look up at the ceiling in order to prevent myself from crying again.<br>"You can talk to her if you want, she's in the next room."  
>"No, no, no, Tom!" I exclaimed quietly. I didn't want to be too loud in case I woke Danny.<br>"I get it. You're a coward as well as a cheat. Do you plan on never talking to her again? Do you think that you can just forget about it all as if nothing happened? That's very noble of you, Dougie, well done." Tom told me harshly. His final sentence was dripping with sarcasm.  
>"I can't talk to her, Tom!" I snapped. "What do you expect me to say?"<br>"Erm… you could start with sorry?" I actually found myself laughing silently at his comment.  
>"Oh yeah. Like one simple sorry is going to make up for all the shit I've put her through."<br>"Look, I know it isn't going to be much help but it's worth a try isn't it?" Then the line went quiet.  
>"Tom? Tom? Hello?" I began to panic, thinking that he had hung up but I reached a new level of fear when I heard a new voice through the speaker of the mobile.<p>

"Hello?" The sound of Emma's voice made my breath stop. I was so shocked, she sounded so unlike the happy, carefree girl I used to know and love. She sounded so hurt and lost, like she didn't know what to do anymore. My voice got caught up in my throat so I couldn't speak. "Hello?" she repeated.  
>"Hi." I muttered, secretly hoping she hadn't heard me so she would hang up.<br>"Dougie? Is that you?" She asked.  
>"Yeah. It's me." I felt a little relieved that she wasn't screaming at me like I had expected her to.<br>"Where've you gone? Are you coming back?" She asked hurriedly, her voice now contained a small bit of hope.  
>"I…" I had to stop talking. I couldn't tell her that I wasn't coming back for a long while. I couldn't tell her that the Emma and Dougie era was over – forever.<br>"You aren't, are you?" she said, her voice now was dull, there was no hope as reality hit her.  
>"No." I admitted quietly.<br>"And you're staying with him, aren't you?"  
>"Y-yes."<br>"Well, then…" She chocked, obviously struggling to hold back tears. "I guess we hand nothing else to say to each other, Dougie."  
>"Emma, please!" I shouted. "Just please, hear me out."<br>"I don't know what you could possibly say to make me feel any better." She snapped. "We're over. You left. We are no longer together so I don't have to listen to you, I don't owe you anything."  
>"I'm sorry, Emma." I suddenly blurted out. "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want any of this to happen. I never meant for things to get that far, I never meant to hurt you, I didn't want that. I didn't mean a single word of what I said in our room, I do love you. Of course I do. I always will love you but you just aren't the one I'm supposed to be with and I'm sorry about that. I wish you were, I really do but I can't help it." I stopped to take a deep breath because I noticed that I didn't breath throughout my whole speech. The line was silent but I knew she wasn't gone. I could hear the faint sound of her heavy breathing.<br>"Emma?" I heard a knock from the door of the bathroom and I jumped slightly.  
>"Doug?" You called. "Are you in there?"<br>"Yeah." I shouted back. "I'll be out in a sec." Then I turned my attention back the phone. "Emma?" I called again.  
>"Goodbye Dougie." Was all I heard before the line went dead.<br>"No! Come back!" I found myself shouting down the phone even though I knew it was no use, she couldn't hear me now. I began feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes again and a lump began to form in my throat.  
>"Dougie! What are you doing?" You shouted from the other side of the door. "Come on, open the door, please." I stood up slightly to unlock the door, not bothering to open it before I sat back down on the bath. By the time I was back down, a waterfall of tears was flowing down my face. You entered slowly and cautiously and you were obviously still half asleep. However, once you saw what kind of a state I was in, you woke up immediately.<br>"What's the matter?" You asked, you voice full of concern.  
>"I spoke to Emma and…" I couldn't answer the question as another unexpected sob escaped my lips.<br>"Oh Dougie. Come here baby." You said softly before walking towards me and wrapping me in your arms. I flung my arms around your waist and clung to you tightly while I cried loudly into your chest. I was shorter that you so you easily tilted you head forward and place a kiss on the top of my head and stroking my hair slowing and soothingly. "Don't worry. It'll all be fine. Everything will work out in the end. I promise."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21.

Danny's P.O.V

"Are you alright?" I asked you once your crying had died down.  
>"Yeah." You replied a little shakily.<br>"Do you want to talk about it or not?" I asked you softly as I wiped away the wet marks that your tears left on your cheeks. You shook your head before standing up straight and wiping away the remaining marks of your tears from your cheeks. You walked out of the bathroom without another word. I followed you slowly, unsure of what to say because I didn't have a clue as to what was said on the phone.  
>"Doug…" I said while turning and closing the door behind me. I was actually planning on asking you about the phone call but I could tell from the look in your eyes that you weren't ready for that yet. "I don't feel like staring at these same four walls all day so do you maybe want to go out somewhere? Spend some quality time together." You smiled shyly and walked towards me, sliding your hands into mine. I didn't question you silence because I just wanted you to feel safe and at home with me.<p>

We walked down the street, hand in hand, not thinking about what other people were thinking. This time was for us and no one else so I pushed all the thoughts about Becky to the back, I was determined to focus all my attention on you and nothing else.  
>"What shall we do then?" You mumbled quietly.<br>"We'll go to the park!" I shouted. "I'll show where I used to play footie when I was little."  
>"Cool." You said, suddenly sounding happier than before. You looked up at me and began searching my eyes for something, I didn't know what it was you were looking for so I leant forward a kissed you softly on your lips. I let go of your hand and wrapped my arm around your shoulders, I wanted to keep you as close to me as possible.<br>"I know what I'll show you." I said, a wide grin beginning to form on my face. You looked at me with a puzzled expression.  
>"What?" You questioned.<br>"Just come on, you'll see." I grabbed your hand again and pulled you towards the park where I had spent most of my childhood. We ran through the middle of town, past the many shops and over the small bridge with the small river that ran underneath it before eventually reaching the park, which was pretty much empty as it was a cold day. I stopped suddenly when we arrived and looked at you with a large smile, you didn't look too impressed.  
>"We're at the park." You managed to say in between trying to catch your breath after the long run we had just been on. "What's so good about it?"<br>"You see that tree over there?" I nodded toward the huge willow tree, it's branches hanging down so you couldn't even see the trunk. "It's a wicked tree to climb." You giggled loudly.  
>"That's it? You dragged me all this way to look at a tree?"<br>"Oi! Don't laugh!" I poked you in the ribs playfully with a small smirk on my face. "Me and Vicky used to climb that tree all the time when we were younger."  
>"Well, let's climb it then." You smiled childishly before taking my hand again and dragging me towards the tree. You pushed all the branches and leaves aside and stepped inside. We were now completely covered by the willow, no one would be able to see inside.<p>

"No one can see us." You whispered.  
>"I know, that's the reason I thought of the tree thing." I smiled. I wrapped my arms around your waist and pulled you close to me so our bodies were pressed together.<br>"Aren't you as stud?" You giggled. Then you leaned your lips towards mine and kissed me delicately. I closed my eyes and kissed you back slowly. I wanted to make most of this moment.  
>"That's me." I laughed as we pulled out of the kiss naturally. "Now then, little Dougiekins. I hope you can climb trees." I raised my eyebrows at you questioningly.<br>"Ha, you know I can!" You laughed. "Don't you remember when we were in Africa and you couldn't climb that tree? Those little kids were laughing at you, man."  
>"Why do you always have to bring that up?" I sighed and rolled my eyes. "You know I was tired…"<br>"Yeah, I believe you." You said sarcastically. "You were crap. Whereas, I was amazing and got to the top in under 5 minutes." You poked you tongue out at me teasingly.  
>"Oh yeah. Didn't you get stuck up there?" I laughed. "Thanks mate, I almost forgot about that."<br>"Oh, shut up." You stuck a finger up at me while I continued to laugh at you. "Now, time to climb." You said before grabbing the bottom branch and pulling yourself up. "You need any help, Jones?" You smiled cheekily.  
>"I alright man." I grinned, rubbing my hands together. "I've done this thousands of times before. I'm a professional at this." I grabbed the bottom branch just like you did but instead of pulling myself up, my hands slipped and I fell back down. You almost fell out as well because you were laughing so much.<br>"You alright, Dan?" You managed to choke out between your laughs.  
>"Yeah, I 'm fine." I stood up and wiped my arse clean. "I was meant to do that, you know? It's like a routine I used to have." You nodded your head.<br>"Yeah, I understand." You said. "I totally believe you, mate."  
>"Well, that's good." I nodded firmly. I tried a second time, this time managing to pull myself up. "Did you see that? Told you I'm a pro."<br>"Yeah." You giggled. "Now then." You looked up at the branches about you, biting you lip lightly as you figured out how you would get to the highest branch that was only a little above your head. I couldn't help but smile at you cuteness. You started to stand, slowly and carefully and then quickly moved your hands from the branch you were stood on to the one above your head. You used that to swing on to the higher branch, the highest branch on the tree. You sat down comfortably. "Wow!" You called. "You can see everything up here" You turned to look at me, I was on the branch that you had previously been stood on. "You coming?"  
>"Yeah." I told you as confidently as possible. I took a deep breath before shakily reaching to the branch above my head. I'd never been really good at climbing and I admit that this was the highest I had ever got. I wasn't going to let you know that though. "Just remember, I haven't done this in ages so I might be slower that I used to be."<br>"Yeah, yeah. Hurry up!" You rushed me. After a few tries I managed to swing up to the branch you were sat on. You made it look so easy to do, so did Vicky when we were younger, but trust me, it wasn't. I was all worth it though because you rested your head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around you waist, we sat there in silence. I was so happy.  
>"I brought Tom here once, you know?" I told you. "It was before you and Harry joined the band, he only managed to get to that branch down there." I pointed to a reasonably low branch and you laughed but I know I felt your body stiffen up when I said those names.<br>"Dougie?" I asked when laughing had stopped. "What's wrong?" You sat up and sighed.  
>"Nothing." You sighed again.<br>"Come on, talk to me Doug." I took you soft hand in mine and used my other one to turn your head to face me, you were still avoiding eye contact with me though. "Please, Dougie!" You shook your head slowly and looked down at the ground but I pushed it back up to face me again. "Don't shut me out." You looked in my eyes this time and I looked back, trying to look as concerned as I could. You nodded and I waited for you to speak.  
>"Everything's just so complicated." You muttered. "I wish I could be more like you."<br>"More like me?" I repeated. "What do you mean?"  
>"You don't let it all get you." You shrugged. "All you want is us and nothing else. You're not bothered about what you lose."<br>"That's not true, Dougie." I whispered. "I just… I just want to be strong for you. You need that." You smiled and stroked my cheek.  
>"You don't have to be strong for me."<br>"I do." I told you firmly while smiling back at you. "I love you so much."  
>"I love you too." You sighed. "I just wish it could always be like this. Just you and me, no one else."<br>"It will be. Once everything gets sorted out, it'll be me and you for the rest of our lives."  
>"Really?" You beamed.<br>"Really." I nodded. "We've just got to get through this."  
>"I hope Emma forgives me." You whispered.<br>"I know you do, Doug." I said. "I understand that. You two have so much history."  
>"Yeah, we do. It's not just that though. It's like, I feel weird when she isn't around. I think I took her for granted."<br>"Yeah, well. You've got me now." I told you softly.  
>"I know, but…" You groaned. "This is different. Me and Emma were like…" You trailed off and looked down at your hands. I looked away trying my hardest not to feel hurt. Was I not enough for you? Was there always going to be something I couldn't give you that Emma could. Apart from the obvious. <p>


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22.

Dougie's P.O.V

I realized that you suddenly became silent. I could tell that I had hurt your feelings in some way but I wasn't sure how, I was just being honest like you wanted me to be.  
>"And what about Becky?" I asked. "There must be some part of you that misses what you had with each other. I know it's only been a day but –"<br>"Let's stop talking about this now." You cut in.  
>"How come?" I was confused by your reaction. "You told me to open up so now you have to too."<br>"No, I don't." You snapped suddenly. "There's nothing for me to open up about."  
>"Erm… Yeah there is." I snapped back. "How about the baby?"<br>"Shut the fuck up Dougie!" You shouted.  
>"Don't you dare tell me to shut up!" I shouted back whilst grabbing hold of the branch beneath me to prevent me from falling, I was starting to lose my balance a little. "Why haven't you mentioned it Danny?"<br>"Because I don't want to talk about it. Is that okay with you?" Your sounded cold but also shaky at points.  
>"No, it's not okay with me." I replied immediately. "This situation involves me as well, you know?"<br>"Oh really?" You laughed. "Well you've certainly helped a lot haven't you?"  
>"Danny! You're having a baby! You can't just ignore something as big as that." I shouted.<br>"Who said I'm ignoring it?" You asked. "I just don't know what to do."  
>"I'll tell you what you need to do. You need to talk to me."<br>"Okay then. Do you really want to know what I'm thinking?" You looked at me. Your eyes ha suddenly filled with tears even though I was sure there were none there a few seconds ago. I nodded slowly although I could feel my heart beating in my chest at a fast speed. "I'm thinking about you; my perfect, beautiful Dougie, the person who makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. I'm thinking about my baby; the baby that I might never get to see, that poor innocent baby will also make me happier that I deserve to be. And then I'm starting to think about the possibility that I might not be able to have both in my life. The possibility that I might have to choose between the two things that I love the most in the world." You stopped and looked me in the eye before wiping away a tear that had begun to fall down your face. "Is that what you were wanting to hear?"  
>"No." I whispered, I was so quiet that I wasn't 100% sure that you'd actually heard me.<br>"See?" You told me. "I think it's best if I just deal with things myself."  
>"Yeah but Danny, I don't want that either." I told you. "We're meant to be a team."<br>"Please, just leave it, Dougie." You begged me. "This whole thing is ruining our day."  
>"You're going to have to face all of this sooner or later, Danny." I said wisely. I actually surprised myself by how clever I sounded.<br>"Do you want the truth?" You spat harshly. "Do you really want to know how I honestly feel about all of this?"  
>"Y-yes." I tried to keep my voice level and confident but it didn't work. The truth was, I was scared to hear the answer. I was scared in case you said you would rather be with Becky than me. I should have dropped the matter when you told me to, we could have gone back to the happy day out that it started out as. But then again, I didn't want that, I wanted answers.<br>"It's breaking my heart, Dougs." You admitted. "Becky is all alone and pregnant back at home and I'm here, in a tree, with you. The one thing I promised her when I found out about the baby was that I would never leave her but I what did I do? I went and left her." You paused to take a big sigh but I knew you wasn't finished, I stayed silent and waited for you to continue. "She has way too much pride to let me be a part of the baby's life. She'll make sure that I don't get involved so that she can prove to everyone that she can do it on her own when in reality she doesn't want that. I can support her through it all." You groaned and rubbed your face with your hands. "I could love her properly and care for her if it wasn't for you."  
>"I'm sorry." I managed to choke out. "If I had kept my mouth shut in front of Emma –"<br>"Dougie, no." You shook your head. "Don't you dare blame yourself for this."  
>"But I –"<br>"Dougie." You warned. "Please don't make this any worse for me. I'm already feeling enough guilt, don't make it worse by making me feel bad for you too." I stayed silent and listened to your breathing as I looked down at the green grass that was so far below us. "What would you do, Doug?"  
>"What?" My head shot up to look at you.<br>"If this was happening to you. If it was actually Emma that turned out to be pregnant, what would you do?"  
>"Please don't ask me that." I whispered. "I'm too scared of what the answer is."<br>"You'd stay with Emma. I know you would." You sighed. "You aren't like me. You only want what's best for other people. But I want it all. I don't want to have to choose. I don't want to be force to make tough decisions but I doubt it'll work that way."  
>"Maybe w-we should stop this now." I quickly wiped away tears that I didn't know had fallen.<br>"Why?" You simply asked. I just shook my head. I was being so selfish. I wanted you so badly. I wanted you all to myself.  
>"Don't make me answer." I choked. I covered my face with my hands and cried. I felt so small and pathetic but I was just relieved to let it out. "I don't want you to leave me alone."<br>"What do you mean?" You gasped. "I aren't going anywhere."  
>"But…the baby" I said taking a deep breath before looking at you. "You can't choose me over an innocent baby."<br>"I'm not" you smiled sadly "I won't give up that easily. Not on either of you."  
>I looked at you and you nodded as if to convince me. There was no need I was convinced. I believed in you so much that one look could stop me hurting, stop me from worrying, stop me from doubting us.<br>One of my biggest mistakes.


	23. Chapter 23

**Warning!**

**The following chapter contains scene of a sexual nature! I just thought I'd warn you beforehand so if you don't like it, don't read. Thank you. **

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 23.<span>

Danny's P.O.V

We stayed in that tree, our tree, for a long time mostly in silence but a comfortable one. Now that was out of the way, now I had told you how I was feeling we could concentrate on being us. Or could we? Were you hurting more then you let on?  
>I wanted both you and my child but let's face it what were the chances of that? And how could I tell you that I still loved Becky and I wanted her to be happy. I'd give anything to know she was happy, she was safe, as well as our baby. I couldn't tell you that.<br>Keeping it to myself was the best option.  
>"How long are we going to stay here?" you asked as we approached my mum's house<br>"Not long." I said my mind half on something else.  
>"Can we get our own place?" you asked "Or is it too soon…"<br>"No!" I grinned "We should do that"  
>"Good" you smiled "Just a flat or something"<br>"We'll go looking tomorrow"  
>"Yeah" you sighed happily. "We'll have to get our stuff…"<br>"Well" I felt my face fell "We could always send someone…"  
>"We can't do that" you whispered and I knew you were right. We'd have to face them sooner or later.<br>"I know" I admitted. "We'll talk about it in the morning ok?"  
>"Yeah" you agreed then you yawned "Woah sudden tiredness"<br>I smiled at your cuteness "Better put young Douglas to bed then"  
>"You better" you grinned. I took your hand and led you into the house and into my, our, room. My mum was obviously in bed as all the lights were off. You snaked your arms around me from behind as I opened my bedroom door. Your hands lifted my T-shirt material and stroked my exposed skin. You giggled at my groan then I snapped quickly around and pulled you into a passionate kiss. You responded immediately without breaking the kiss I walked backwards and you kicked the door shut. Butterflies flew around in my stomach as your hand once again stroked my shivering skin.<br>"Thought you were tired" I grinned into the kiss but without waiting for an answer and pushed you against the bedroom door pushing my tongue further into your mouth, you groaned loudly and snaked your arms around my waist pulling me further into you. I felt a familiar stir in my trousers.  
>"Dougie" I groaned softly without knowing it.<br>Moments like this just convinced me this was what I wanted. What I needed. Nothing could compare to this, to you. You made me soar; you made me feel invincible. Just with a simple touch, a simple kiss you numbed all those feelings of pain and those feelings of self-loathing. I believed in myself when you showed me you loved me.  
>"Danny?" you whispered your lips still touching mine but you partly were pulled away.<br>"Hmmm?" I was too in lust at that point. I kissed you again my lips needing to be connected with yours for as long as possible.  
>"I want you inside me" you bit your lip seductively your eyes darting across my face. "Now" you added. Just the pure thought of this made my length harden and as I felt something-similar rub against me I knew you were feeling exactly the same. I captured your lips in mine then using my fingertips to lightly dance across the material covering you're hard length. This simple touch sent you crazy and it was like releasing monster from its cave you tugged the bottom of my T-shirt and ripped it over my head, before I could catch my breath your lips were on mine again. Your hands touching every corner of my chest, my back, then softly pinching my hardened nipples. I groaned and in a matter of minutes I stripped you of your own T-shirt and pulled down your trousers so you were standing in our boxers. Our chests crashed together as we tried to get as much of each other as possible, it didn't feel like enough, I took your hand and led you to the bed. I fell backwards and landed on the soft pillow pulling you with me. Then I turned around so I was raised above you. You looked up at me, out of breath and already sweat was appearing on your forehead.<br>"Are you sure?" I said as loudly as I could though I was also catching my breath.  
>"Yes" you breathed wrapping your arms around my neck and pulling me down so you could kiss my lips gently. "I need you" you traced your fingers down my spine keeping your eyes locked with mine, I sensed you passion and your love for me and it aroused me even more. My cock now throbbing painfully, your hands now undoing my belt, I wasted no time when kicking off my trousers. Lust was pouring from me as well as the nervous energy from what we were about to do. We had never gone this far before, sure we'd got intimate but we'd never had to chance to go all the way. Now you were begging me and I couldn't resist you.<br>I leant down to start kissing and biting gently at your tender neck. Without warning your hand slipped into my boxers and tightened around my throbbing cock. I gasped onto your skin shuddering with immense pleasure. I moved my lips to yours and massaged against them as your hand did the same thing, it was taking all the strength in me to not groan loudly. Your thumb stroked against the tip and I was sure I was going to cum there and then but you noticed so you stopped and removed your hand. I knew this was the time.  
>So gently I turned you over so you were on all fours, I removed my boxers and shakily removed yours. As I knelt down behind you I stroked my finger down your arched spine, you shivered and groaned inwardly. I knew this was going to hurt you at first so I decided to be gentle, I didn't want lust to take over. I bent over and kissed your shoulder blades.<br>"I love you" I breathed into his ear then slowly entered one finger into your tight hole you gasped I kissed your back again then entered another finger, scissoring them so you were ready for what was coming. After a while I entered another finger, doing this to you made my head spin, it was the ultimate turn on. I'd never felt so aroused.  
>"Now Danny" you groaned. I nodded kissing your back once again then removed my fingers. Gently I positioned myself, stroking my hands up the inside of your thighs and your bum cheeks. Slowly and gently I entered you, you gasped from the pain but I carried on knowing that soon enough you'd be feeling pleasure. So I carried on moving in and out slowly shushing your small cries of pain, I started to pick up as rhythm and you stopped groaning from pain; suddenly you gasped.<br>" Fuck Danny there, keep it there" my heart started to pound knowing I had succeeded in getting your spot so I started to pump harder causing you to shout my name loudly as I hit you spot again and again.  
>"Harder Danny. Fuck me harder" so I did and as I felt myself coming nearer to my climax I grabbed your hard sore length and pumped it to the rhythm I was pounding into you.<br>"I'm nearly there Doug" I muttered as the passion was sweeping over my. I felt that sensation then shot my load into you, filling your insides, I carried on pumping until you came all over my hands. I withdrew from you and we collapsed onto the bed both out of breath, both sweaty. I slowly turned over so I was no longer lying on you, and you moved over to me, lying on your back your head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around your waist and held you close, both our hearts thumping as we came down from the amazing climax.  
>"That was incredible" you whispered.<br>"I know. I love you Doug"  
>"Fuck. I love you" you sighed shakily "Don't ever leave me"<br>"I won't"  
>We lay in each other's arms all night, sleeping deeply and together.<p> 


	24. Chapter 24

**Warning!**

**The following chapter contains scene of a sexual nature! I just thought I'd warn you beforehand so if you don't like it, don't read. Thank you.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 24.<span>

Dougie's P.O.V

I awoke the next morning and was immediately greeted by a kiss from you. I giggled and squinted slightly to let my eye adjust to the sunlight that was shining in through the gap in the curtains.  
>"Finally!" You sighed over-dramatically causing me to giggle at you again. "I've been waiting for you to wake up for ages."<br>"Well, I'm sorry." I smiled. "I was having a very good dream."  
>"Was it about me by any chance?" You raised your eyebrows questioningly.<br>"No, actually." I laughed. "It was about a rather a large ice-cream with loads of sprinkles and sauce and a huge flake."  
>"And that's better than me?" You pretended to act offended. "Ah well, it did sound really nice."<br>"Yeah, it was nice…" You leaned down and kissed me again, stroking your hand down my bare chest. "But it was nowhere near as good as you." You giggled and laid down next to me with your arm wrapped around my waist.  
>"So anyway… I was thinking about how my family know about us and I was wondering if we should tell yours."<br>"One thing at a time, okay?" I laughed nervously. I sat up you slowly and watched your face slowly sink into a frown as you sat up next to me.  
>"Do you not want them to know or something?" You asked, your voice was weak and sounded hurt.<br>"No, no! It's not that, it's just…" I couldn't think of any good excuse so I just stopped talking.  
>"Are you ashamed of me Dougie?" You whispered. I hated it when you were confused. You always sounded so worried and I hate the sound of your voice when you're worried.<br>"No Danny. I swear it isn't you. I promise." I smiled. "Just give me some time, yeah?"  
>"Yeah." You nodded.<p>

Weeks passed and everything was going perfect. We didn't hear anything from Tom or any of the others back at home – well, actually I should say back at our_ old_ home, we can't exactly call it home anymore. We didn't mention any of them either. There were times when I thought I should say something about it but everything was going so well that I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. We spent all day everyday together and we spent every night in each other's arms and even though we spent so much time together, I never once got tired of you. With every single second that went by, my love for you would increase, and every single day I would being to realize just how perfect we actually are. Sorry, I should correct myself, I would realize just how perfect we actually _were._ I really didn't think it would ever end. Even Vicky had begun to like me though it did take her sometime as she was a bit wary of me at first, in the end we became extremely good friends. I loved her. In fact I loved all of your family, pretty much the same amount as I loved my own. Occasionally you would bring up the matter of telling my mum about us but I could never give you a definite answer. I could see that you were eager for everyone to know so that we could be a couple out in public without having to hide from anyone but it wasn't as easy as that. My mum loved Emma so much; treated her as though she was a second daughter and she had always told me to never hurt her, even before we even started seeing each other, when we were just friends. She had warned me that if I was taking her with me to London, I would have to stand by her no matter what happened, she told me I had to be serious and I had to look after her. I don't think I did very well at that, do you? I mean, I didn't have a clue where she was or how she was coping. I really hoped that she'd stayed with Tom and Harry because I knew that they could look after her properly. Unlike me. If she did go back to her mum, my mum would have definitely found out and I can't have that. Me and Emma's mum never got on so it would be hard to tell my mum without Emma's mum finding out. I was just enjoying the way we were living at that moment. Just us. I thought that you wanted that as well.  
>"Hey Doug" you whispered into my ear as we watched some film on television. We were curled up in your bed.<br>"Hmm?" I didn't take my eyes of the television.  
>"We've been together a month." You chuckled "just worked it out. It's been exactly a month since we got together officially"<br>"It's our month anniversary!" I giggled turning my head towards you. "We should celebrate"  
>"How?" you whispered before kissing my lips tenderly. You licked your tongue along my lips begging for entrance, I wasn't about to deny you. We kissed passionately. My groin stirred. Your hands groped my butt making me giggle into the kiss but also making me even hornier then before. I slipped my hands down your back and into your boxers my fingers stroking around your hole.<br>"s**t" you groaned gulping as I pushed one of my fingers inside you. You forcefully pushed your hand against my hardening length rubbing against the material that was separating your hand from it. I choked not believing the effect you had on me. I pushed in another finger, you moaned, leaving my lips and starting to kiss my neck passionately.  
>Then my phone started to ring, we both jumped but you turned back to me immediately.<br>"Ignore it" you, said breathlessly.  
>"Yeah" I agreed turning my head around and moving my fingers inside you once more.<br>But it didn't stop. It kept ringing, I couldn't ignore it.  
>"Just…I'll just tell them to go away" I pulled away from you, you lay back and groaned.<br>"Hurry"  
>I got my phone from my Jean pocket from yesterday. It was my mum calling I frowned as I answered it.<br>"Hello"  
>"Dougie!" she answered sounding bright and happy. "How are you?"<br>"Great. Erm mum…I'm a bit busy"  
>"Oh I'm sorry" but she didn't sound the slightest bit sorry. "I was just wondering if my only son was still alive"<br>I looked over at Danny and rolled my eyes. "Ok hang on mum" I covered the mouthpiece. "I'm going to have to talk to her. Be back in a minute"  
>"You bloody better"<br>I leaned over the bed and lay my lips on him but pulling away before he could take it any further, I stood up straight and he groaned again, I giggled and winked then left the room walking downstairs and into the empty kitchen. I closed the door behind me and sat down on one of the chairs. I sighed heavily, forcing all thoughts of you and what I wanted to do with you out of my mind and put the phone back to my ear.  
>"Okay mum, I'm all yours."<br>"Good! So, how are you then?"  
>"You asked me that earlier." I laughed. "I'm good. How's Jazzie?"<br>"Jazzie's doing great but she misses you, Doug."  
>"I know, I know and I miss her too. I miss all of you." I smiled. "I'll come visit soon, okay?"<br>"You better visit, it feels like years since we last saw you. I can honestly say that I see you more on the TV than I do in person. How's the band going, anyway."  
>"Oh…" I looked down at the table and began to trace the flowers on table cloth with my fingers. "It's going great. Thanks."<br>"I'm so proud of you. All four of you." She sighed. "You should all come round for dinner sometime. We'll talk about it another time."  
>"Yeah, sounds great mum." I was desperately trying to hurry this conversation up.<br>"Oh, are you busy?"  
>"Yes. Very busy."<br>"Okay then. I'll let you go." She said unhappily. "Oh, one more thing, how's Emma?" I knew she would ask eventually. That was one reason I wanted to hurry the conversation up. So that I wouldn't have to answer that question.  
>"Oh, Emma's fine." I lied.<br>"And how are her studies going?"  
>"Yeah, they're going fine as well."<br>"I hope you haven't been distracting her."  
>"Don't worry mum, I haven't."<br>"Good. Can I talk to her." I started to panic at that point.  
>"Erm… no. She's gone out. Look, I really do have to go now mum, love you. Tell Jazzie that I say hi and tell her that I love her. Bye." I hung up and put the phone down on the table. I really hated the feeling of lying to my mum.<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25.

Danny's P.O.V

I really do regret following you down the stairs to the kitchen and listening to your conversation from the other side of the door. I didn't follow you with the intentions of eavesdropping, I just wanted the be there when you finally managed to get rid of your mum. I didn't enter when you hung up though and it was obvious that you were angry by the way you slammed the phone down on to the table. I didn't care about you being angry though because what you had told your mum had made me even angrier. I mean, I can understand that you don't want to tell your mum about us but lying about it? You were the one that said you didn't want anymore lies, your were the one that kept begging me to be honest with everyone and you couldn't even tell your own mother!  
>"Well, that just proves how much you love me." I said as I pushed the door open and rushed in with tears filling up my eyes.<br>"What?" You asked, clearly shocked by the way I just barged in. "Did you hear that? Were you listening?"  
>"Yes!" I snapped. "I heard. Your mum still thinks that you're with Emma."<br>"It's not like that Danny." you pleaded with me. You stood up and tryed to move towards me put I took a step away from you.  
>"Well, what is it like?" I shouted. "How come you can't tell your mum?"<br>"Danny, just calm down, please." you muttered. You tryed to reach out to me but I batted you hand away.  
>"Don't you dare tell me to calm down." I pointed my finger at you. "Why are you so ashamed of me? Just be honest with me."<br>"I aren't ashamed of you." You choked. "I love you so much."  
>"Stop it." I spat. "How can you honestly love me when you're pretending that you're still with your ex-girlfriend?"<br>"I aren't. I just can't tell my mum yet!" Your voice was raising slightly now. "You don't understand what I'm going through! This isn't the same for you!"  
>"I LEFT MY PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND SO I COULD BE WITH YOU!" I screamed. "I still managed to be honest to my family. They might have ended up hating me. They might have even disowned me but I didn't care because I had you."<br>"You don't understand!" You cried.  
>"Explain then!" I said. "Explain to me, what makes you so different? What makes you so special?"<br>"My mum loves Emma!" You shouted.  
>"Yeah and so do you!" I found myself shouting back with out even realising I was doing it.<br>"W-what?" You gasped. "I don't. I-I love you."  
>"Stop lying to me! I heard you before, when you were in the bathroom on the phone to her. I heard when you told her how much you love her. I ignored it at first because I just wanted to believe that you were just saying it to make her feel better, to make so she didn't hate you as much but I know how stupid that was. You just can't bear to let her go." You mouth gaped open as you stared at me in shock.<br>"Why have you been listening in on my private conversations?"  
>"I don't mean to."<br>"Well, if you listened properly and stopped jumping to conclusions, you would have heard me tell that she wasn't the one, you would have heard me say that you were the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."  
>"Why don't you show it then?" I asked you desperately. "When we're in public you can barely even hold my hand let alone kiss me. You don't even try to prove this apparent love for me."<br>"Danny, would you just stop for a second and listen to yourself?" You laughed in disbelief. "It's hard when you're coming to terms with the fact that you're gay. And if the press finds out, it'll be in all the paper,s it'd be like rubbing it in Emma and Becky's faces. Oh, and not to mention if my mum saw it-"  
>"SEE!" I shouted, cutting in to your explaination. "There you go again! All you care about is other people and what they think! You care about how they see us, what they'll say about us. Why can't you think of it like I do? I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm with you!"<br>"But it isn't that simple." You sighed, rubbing your face with your hands in a worn out way. "Didn't we say we would lay low for a little while? I thought that was why we were here."  
>"I thought we were here so that we could be together."<br>"Well I don't know, do I?" You shrieked. "You were the one who brought me here. I feel like I can't leave unless you say so! You always call the shots. You never stop to think about how I'm feeling, do you?"  
>"Leave then. I aren't stopping you." I pointed to the door.<br>"Will you just stop being so childish? I'm trying to tell you how I feel about everything."  
>"I already know how you feel. You're still in love with Emma. I know you always will be and there's nothing that I can do to replace her."<br>"You're wrong."  
>"Prove it then." I picked up your phone from the table where you left it. You caught it weakly and looked down at it blankly. "Ring your mum right now and tell her everything."<br>"You can't make me do this." I snapped.  
>"What is it that's stopping you?" I spat back. "You say you have all of this love for me. Where is it?"<br>"You're just angry Dan." you said a lot more softly than before. "I promise I'll tell my mum when the time's right."  
>"You're lying!" I shouted. "You've lied to all of the people that you've said you love. How can I even trust you?" You gasped, your eyes searching my face for any sign of guilt for what I had just said but I was too angry with you to care at that point.<br>"Y-you don't trust me?" You asked me weakly.  
>"I don't know, Dougie." I mumbled with my head down. I paused before I carried on with what I was saying. "All I want is for everyone to know. I want the whole world to know that you are my boyfriend and I love you but I can't do that because Emma's in the way."<br>"It isn't her fault." You whispered. "You know I love you, Danny. I know you do."  
>"Like I said before, prove it then." I pointed to the mobile phone in your lap. "Prove it or get out." Your head shot up so quick it was almost a blur. You looked absolutely terrified by what I had just said but I wasn't about to let my guard down.<br>"I don't get why I always have to prove myself to you. Why can't you just be happy with what I give you."  
>"What do you give me exactly?" I said a little harshly, I even made myself wince. You looked at me in shock for a moment before shoving your mobile into your pocket and standing up abruptly.<br>"Fine." You said, choking on your own tears. "I'm off 'cause it's clear I aren't good enough for you." You pushed past me forcefully, making me stumble to the side and walked straight out of the house. That was the second time you left me and the second time I didn't try to stop you. You would have thought that i would have learnt from my first mistake.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26.

Dougie's P.O.V

I stepped put into the night, the ice cold wind hitting me like knifes. I felt as though an ice hand was grabbing my heart, squeezing so tightly that I felt as though I was numb from all feeling yet suffocated at the same time. I was gasping for air as I clutched the area of my chest that was only barely stopping me from ripping my heart out to stop the horrible feeling. That was my first taste of a real broken heart, at that moment in time I felt as though it was slowly killing me, but now I know that it was nothing compared to the pain I would go through in the future.  
>It was really late, I didn't know how late, I just knew it was late and it was pitch black, I was completely lost while I stumbled through I place I hardly even knew. The only times I'd been out was when I was with you and even then it was never at night. I didn't really take anything in anyway because I was busy being hopelessly in love with you. We were cushioned it was seemed to be perfect love at the time but now I think about it, how could it have been when you deliberately hurt me? I should have seen it coming right then, I should have known that it would eventually all fall apart. Instead of thinking all of that though, I found myself praying to God that you would be standing around the next corner with a huge grin on your face and your arms wide, welcoming me into you. You never showed up. Instead, the owner of the hand that was clenching my heart just laughed at me. Well, I don't know if it was the owner of the hand but something was laughing at and telling me that I had made a mistake. I never should have taken the huge risk of being with you. If I had stayed with Emma, I would never have had to feel like this.<br>I grabbed onto the railing behind me and let out a huge sob; I was doing exactly what you were mad at me for, I couldn't get her out of my head. I didn't know why though because I definately didn't love her. I knew I didn't because when I thought of her, I didn't get the feeling that made my spine tingle like I did when I thought of you. Just hearing your name made goosebumps appear all over my body, looking into your ocean blue eyes made my stomach do somersaults. How could you no believe me when I said I love you? Yeah, Emma was constantly on my mind, but what was it that I really felt whenever I thought of her?  
>Guilt. That's all I felt. She'd been my one true best friend for years but our history isn't going to change how much I hurt her. Going back over the day that we left them to pretty much die would never make up for what I did, for what we did. Is that what you were trying to get across to me? I could barely even remember what you had even said. The huge sobs were taking over my body as I sank to the ground hugging my knees. The cold air was making me shiver, it didn't do anything to numb me, it just reminded me that you weren't there to hold me, to keep me warm and comfort me. You weren't there to complete me.<br>Rain poured from the sky in an endless flow, they felt like rocks as they crashed down onto my head. I didn't move though, I stayed there, wanting you to come and pick me up, how pathetic was I? If I happened to be someone walking by, I would look at me right now and point and laugh. I wouldn't have understood the pain I was going through though, no one could. I could still feel that same cold hand squeezing my heart and making me feel numb but no where numb enough; I wanted to be so numb that I would just stop feeling altogether. If this is was love really felt like, at that moment I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. With just a few words, you had managed to push me into near depression.  
>I knew I had to get away; I had to find a way to get rid of the cold blockage in my lungs to allow me to breath properly, I had to find warmth. I did consider going back to your's and apologizing, begging for your forgiveness and for you to take me back but I still had some pride left. I certainly wasn't going to let you control me. I always made my own decisions, I never let anyone decide for me and just because you owned my heart, didn't mean you owned my head, Danny. How could you think that you would be able to force me into doing the most difficult and daunting thing in the world? You thought you could force me into admitting to my mum that I had let her down. How could I possibly do that? After everything she's ever done for me, after all the promises I had made with her. What was it that made you think you had the right to make me ruin all of that when I wasn't even close to being ready?<br>Keeping those thoughts in mind, I stood up shakily and made my way to the triain station that I remembered walking past on my journey to where I was now. It was the one that I had seen on a day out with you. There I go again, every little thing always comes back to you. You were constantly on my mind no matter what. I ignored the horrible stirring feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me if I made one wrong move I would end up puking up all the contents of my stomach. I walked to the ticket booth and bought my ticket, I sat and waited for my train to arrive knowing there was only one place I could go. I was going to the land of pain and misery; pain and misery that I had caused. I was going home.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27.

Danny's P.O.V

"What was that shouting all about?" My mum shouted as she burst through the door with a puzzled expression. She looked as if she was getting ready to shout again but when she saw me drop heavily into the nearest, probably looking just as lost as I was feeling she softened up a little. I winced as I heard the front door slamming shut, knowing it was you leaving me again.  
>"Danny?" She asked softly.<br>"He's gone, mum." I whispered. I hoped that would be enough but it never was for my mum.  
>"Go after him then!" She nudged me gently. She said it with so much simplicity that it might have been do-able but it wasn't. I kept replaying your last moments in my mind, breathing shakily as I rememered how hurt you looked.<br>"I can't do that." I shook my head. "He doesn't want me."  
>"Doesn't want you?" she laughed lightly. "Danny baby, he loves you. He pretty much hangs off you..."<br>"Well he left pretty quickly, didn't he?" I snapped as I felt anger rise up inside me once again.  
>"Nothing's ever as simple as that," she sighed. "Is it?" I let the atmosphere around us calm down as my mum waited for some answers. I couldn't give her any answers right then, my mind was still confused. I couldn't figure out if it was my fault or yours.<br>"Danny." My mum spoke firmly. "Tell me what went on." After a long pause, I spoke.  
>"He won't even tell his own mother." I mumbled shakily, looking down at my hands which I could see were trembling uncontrollably without me even knowing. "Why?" I asked nothing in particuar before turning to face my mum. "Why won't he tell her? Why would he prefer her to think that he's still with Emma?" I spat her name out like it was poison in my mouth. I could feel my eyes stinging from tears that I had been trying desperatley to hide without succeeding. I gulped and closed my eyes, tilting my head back so it was looking up at the ceiling. My entire body felt weak, empty and pointless, everything seemed pointless.<br>"Oh." She took a deep breath before contining. "Listen Danny, I don't know why he won't tell him mum but what I do know is that he loves you so so much." I gave a harsh laugh.  
>"Yeah, he loves me so much that he doesn't even try to fight for me." I snapped, my whole body now trembling violently. I kept my hand clasped together so tightly that my knuckles were turning white.<br>"So, you want him to fight for you?" She smiled. "Don't you think leaving his girlfriend and best friends for yoy was enough?"  
>"Mum, you don't get it." I pretended I didn't hear her previous comment. "He doen't want anyone to know. Whenever we are out together he refuses to act like we are in love because he doesn't want to get spotted! I would have told the girls a lot sooner if it weren't for him -"<br>"Did you even bother to ask him why?"  
>"Why what?"<br>"Why's he's so scared of everyone finding out." She answered like it was the easiest thing in the world.  
>"It's obvious!"<br>"That means you didn't then..." she sighed. "God's sake Danny. I actually thought you were good with relationships."  
>"What's that meant to mean?" I was getting angry again. "Mum he won't tell his fucking mother about us because he really he couldn't care less!" I jumped up feeling the need to pace the floor trying to get rid of the excess agitation. "How can he love me when he won't show it? He won't prove it?"<br>"You want him to prove it?" my mum laughed lightly while she watched me pace across the kitchen floor from the chair she was sat in. "He's here with you isn't he? Well, he was." her tone was still as calm as it was when our conversation had first begun. "He left all of his life behind to be in a completely new place that he doesn't know anything about, all for you Danny. I mean you haven't really been in a relationship that long technically..."  
>"But mum..."<br>"Have you ever thought about how he could be finding it hard to get his head round the fact that he's gay. He might be afraid about what people will say or do to him..."  
>"Yeah but that's my point! He's..."<br>"He could also be struggling to find away to break the news to his mum about the both of you and you know how hard it was for you."  
>"But still..."<br>"It could also be that he he doesn't want the girl who he's known since he was a little boy anymore than is necessary. At least not until he really has to." Her words hit my like ice and before I knew it, I was overwhelmed by so many feelings. My eyes began to overflow with so many tears, my body was shaking uncontrollably. I had never experienced anything that felt anywhere near as bad as this before. The only thing I knew was that I wanted it to stop.  
>"None of this has to be about you, honey." she whispered soothingly while rubbing my arms in a motherly way. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my head into her shoulder while I cried her hysterically into her. I don't understand where all those tears came from. "And." she continued while stroking my back softly, "As his best friend and his boyfriend, you should understand what he's going through and shouldn't be forcing him into things that he doesn't want to do."<br>"I know mum but I can't help thinking that he might still love her."  
>"He doesn't." She said simply. "I know it. He worships the ground you walk on. Trust me on this one, ok?" I nodded shakily, sniffing slightly and wiping my nose.<br>"You know that it takes a lot to stop caring about someone." she looked into my eyes while pushing my hair away from my face. "You, of all people should know that." I nodded once again. "I mean, think about it. Do you want to hurt Becky anymore than you have to?"  
>"I guess not." I mumbled.<br>"Can I ask you one question?" I murmered some sort of a yes and bowed my head to the ground like a small child.  
>"When are you going to stop being such a coward and go see that woman who is the mother of you're child?" I whimpered weakly and shook my head. I hoped that she would get the picture that I didn't want to talk about any of that.<br>"Now then... Are you going to go after Doug or what?"  
>"I-I can't do that!"<br>"Danny! We've just been through this. I thought-"  
>"Mum I can't because I know where he's gone" I said simply "I can't go there"<br>"Oh" she raised her eyebrows "not willing to fight for him?"


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28.

Dougie's P.O.V

The second I arrived at my destiation, I regretted it deciding to go there. How could I think that I would be allowed back into their lives? They had every right to tell me to fuck off and that's probably what they'll do but then what else could I do? The images of having to stay out on the street in this stormy night made my inside ache and the pain of that was increased by the pain of my heart breaking. I was about to abandon my choice to knock on the door when it swung open and out came a familiar figure. He ran towards me, calling my name out as he did this and grabbed my hand, pulling me inside and into the warmth. The hallway was felt just as welcoming as always, it was all exactly the same apart from the messy pile of shoes in the corner because our shoes weren't there anymore.  
>The front door slammed shut behind, blocking out the ice cold air but for some reason, I was stil freezing cold. That was when I remembered it was pouring it down outside, I looked down to see a small puddle forming around me on the carpet because of all the water dripping from me. He didn't seem to care though. I heard him say my name softly but I didn't respond or even give him any kind of sign that I had heard him. I sighed deeply, even that small action took nearly all of my energy from me, I was so weak. I wasn't breathing normally either, it was all shaky and irregular.<br>"Dougie?" I heard Tom say again. I decided to turn and face him this time but instantly regretted. The look of concern on his face caused me to break down into a flood of tears that was almost as strong as the rain outside. "What happened, Dougs?" He choked slightly. Tom was always the sensitive one, he hated seeing anyone hurt even it was a stranger on the street that he didn't even know.  
>"I-I c-can't." I croaked. It was way too early to admit that we had failed so easily. I had just walked out without so much as a look back. I was regretting that decision so much now. Why didn't I just do what you wanted? I mean, it would have been fine if you were there to help me, to protect me.<br>"Ok mate." Tom nodded. He understood how I was feeling. "Do you want to change or something? You're completely drenched!" I laughed lightly but I cut it short. It just felt to weird, I felt guilty for being happy when you weren't there to laugh along with me. I could hear your laugh in my ears, causing goosebumps to travel all over my body, I felt hopeful until I realized that it was my imagination, you were miles away.  
>"Can I go... room?" I couldn't form sentances, my throat was so tight that it wasn't letting all of my words out.<br>"Yeah." He answered me simply. "There should be a towel in the bathroom, all your stuff is in your room. I cleaned up everything that you trashed but I didn't throw anything away incase you came back for it." I smiled, I had never been so glad that I had a friend like Tom. A friend who still did what was best for you no matter how much you had pissed him off. He really was a good guy, one of the greatest. I wanted to hug him but I really doubted that he would want my soaking wet body on him. "Go on then." He pointed to the stairs. "I'll put the kettle on, yeah?" I nodded before turning around and heading upstairs. I bounded up the stairs and into the bathroom to get the towel, making it back to my room so quickly that I shocked myself. I really didn't want to run into anyone, I just didn't want any conversation yet. I didn't to be questioned by people wanting to know why I came back. I just wanted to be alone to think things through. But mostly I just wanted to think about you. I knew that Tom would be waiting for me though so I reluctantly dried myself and got changed. I did all of that with my eyes shut tightly, not wanting to see anything that might bring back old memories. When I was finally ready, I raced out of the room like lightening and shut the door quickly. That was when it occured to me that I would more than likely have to sleep in there that night. I groaned quietly, knowing that no matter where I sleeped, I would be getting hardly any sleep. I starte to make my way down the stairs but came to a stop at the bottom, I could hear angry voices coming from the kitchen around the corner.  
>...can't let him stay here!" I heard Harry say, his voice was somewhere between a shout and whisper. I think it was pretty obvious who he was referring to.<br>"Well, I can't just send him away!" Tom snapped back stubbornly.  
>"Isn't this just great?" Harry said sarcastically. "Emma and Becky both live here and you're letting him stay here after he broke both of their hearts."<br>"I really doubt he'll be here for very long." Tom reasoned.  
>"Oh really?" Harry laughed but not happily, his laugh was full of spite and hatred, hatred towards me. "Does he not have anyone that he can to and sponge off of?" I felt tears spring at the back of my eyes. I had always thought of Harry as one of bestest friends and I always though he would stand by me, hearing his words was so painful. I knew for sure that if he was in my position, I would do anything in my power to make him feel better. It hut me because I could tell that I obviously wasn't worth it. He obviously didn't want to take anytime to realize that we didn't mean to hurt anyone, we were just in love. I couldn't bring myself to listen to anymore, so I pushed open the kitchen door and padded in with my head down.<br>"Hi." I whispered weakly. I looked at them both, Tom was smiling at me and I could tell it was a genuine smile but Harry was scowling at me.  
>"Sit down mate." Tom spoke kindly. I smiled nervously and perched at the end of one of the wooden kitchen chairs feeling more out of the place then I ever had. Something I never had expected in this kitchen. The silence was surprising as well, seeing as there were three of us in the room, before this would have been an achievement. As they both stared at me I started to see how zoo animals felt, god what a horrible life they must lead, everybody staring, pointing, laughing, gawping…I just couldn't take it.<br>"I bet you're wondering why I just turned up like this." I saod quitely but just loud enough for them to make out what I was saying.  
>"Yes actually." Harry spat. "After the way you left and all that, we didn't expect to see your face again."<br>"Yeah well, I'm sorry about that." I whispered again.  
>"Yeah sure. What d'you want?"<br>"Harry." Tom said with an exasperated sigh.  
>"Tom." Harry copied.<br>"Dan and I... Well we argued." I said shakily. "A-and we-"  
>"Broke up?" Harry almost laughed.<br>"I think-" Tears fell rapidly down my cheeks. I just couldn't admit it. I didn't want us to be over, I wouldn't believe it yet.  
>"Doug" Tom sighed sympathetically coming to my side, his arm around my shoulders. "It'll all be fine." But it couldn't be, nothing would be, not until I saw you again. Neither of them would ever understand what I was going through. Tom was sympathetic and Harry was angry but neither would ever feel what I felt for you. I couldn't help but wonder why I had ran away and ended up there of all places, where it all began. I wanted to give it up to you again, I wanted to see you now, run my hands through your soft curls, pin you against the wall and hear you scream my name. I didn't want to be here with people who I no longer knew.<br>That was the moment when I realised that in the end I would do anything to be yours.I would sell my soul just to hear you tell me you loved me. That was the moment when I became most vulnerable.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Danny's P.O.V

I poked my head out from under the bedcovers, feeling as though I hadn't slept in weeks when it had only been one night that I didn't get enough sleep. I only got about five hours sleep the night before because I my mind was occupied with thoughts of you and what you could have been doing. Even though I remembered yesterday's events so clearly, I still found a part of myself praying that it was all a dream. I imagined that instead of your side of the bed being cold and empty, you were there in my arms with your head buried into the crook of my neck, your eyes closed and you lips parted ever so slightly as you slept. I'd turn my head over and kiss the tip of your nose lightly so you'd scrunch it up subconciously, making you look absolutely adorable. I would then kiss you on the lips making your eyes flutter open and a smile appear on your lips. I'd smile back at you and tell you that I love you and good morning, in your sleepy state you would reply with some sort of mumble and pull yourself even closer to me and rest your head on my chest, closing your eyes again but not going back to sleep. I would kiss the top of your head and lay my head back, shutting my eyes also. Then I'd tell you about the dream I'd had, the one that we had had a huge argument in, you'd giggle slighty and call my silly. I wouldn't let the dream bother me because nothing would happen like that in real life. Your mum not knowing wouldn't worry me and anyway in real life telling your mum wouldn't be a problem. In real life, Becky would let me back into her life without a struggle and Emma would forgive you. Becky would let you see the kid as well because she would have realised that no matter what I do, you would be right there by my side and she would accept that.

I was soon snapped out of my false reality and remembered what I was actually faced with; nothing but tears and an empty space at the side of me. There was no warm body in my arms. No one there to talk to about the silly dreams that I'd had the night before. I was alone.

Although as I shed the warm bed covers from my half naked body and made my way to the bathroom I wouldn't let myself take the blame. I had done the right thing. I didn't want anymore lies circulating our relationship that's how we had started and I didn't want it to carry on. If we were going to work nothing should be a lie; everything should be told honestly, even if it meant bad consequences. You should have known I'd stand by you no matter what, if it were the case that you're mum took the news badly I wouldn't abandon you. In hindsight I wasn't looking at the bigger picture. I wasn't thinking of those dark thoughts that I'd hidden from you, so possibly I was being hypocritical. And if I was willing to stand by you why did I let you go? No I didn't think of that. Oh, the mistakes of a stubborn man. I stepped into the shower, the warm droplets making me gasp as they covered my body, I hoped they'd cleanse me. How I wished that you'd pull back the shower curtain, a cheeky grin on your lips, and hop into the shower with me. Pressing me against the wall you would do to me what you had done so many times before. But I couldn't let you control my thoughts. I was standing my ground you see. So I quickly cleaned and left the shower, drying and dressing as quickly as possible.

"Dan?" I heard my mum call from the kitchen as I made my way down the stairs.  
>"Yeah?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen and made my way to the cupboard that had the cereal in it. I heard my mum clear her throat behind me, obviously trying to figure out what she was going to say to me, I choose to ignore it and carry on with my cereal making.<br>"How are you?" She finally asked. I lifted my head and met her eyes before looking back down at my bowl and shrugging my shoulders.  
>"Fine." I replied.<br>"Are you?" She asked uncertainly. "You weren't fine yesterday."  
>"Well, I am now." I hoped she would get the hint that I wasn't in the mood to talk about anything at that moment. It would just end up like the night before.<br>"Talk to me, Danny." She sighed.  
>"I talked to you last night. I really aren't in the mood for any of this right now."<br>"Are you going to go and get him?" She asked, suddenly becoming serious.  
>"Can I eat my breakfast in peace?" I shouted throwing the bowl into the sink, I'd only had one spoonful, but I was feeling sick anyway. Before she could answer me I stormed out of the room pushing hard against the door of the living room and slamming it shut just to make my point. I growled as I collapsed on the sofa. I was a mess, a serious heap of pathetic mess. But I tried to ignore it and let myself believe I would be ok in a minute if I just watched some television. I sat on the sofa and got lost in the moving images on the screens as they made pointless coversation with each other. I frowned trying to concentrate on it, trying to make sense of it, but they were talking gibberish. I had no idea what channel it was, what program I was watching but I doubt it would have made a difference really. The hours passed, though it could have been seconds, I don't know, and my sisters greeting as she walked through the front door awakened me from my fazed daydream. I groaned thinking 'what's she doing here?' and coming to the conclusion that she was only going to cause even more trouble. The living room door opened slowly and there she stood looking at me with that annoying sympathetic expression on her face.<br>"Yes?" I said sharply  
>"You ok?" she asked ignoring my sharp tone.<br>"Not really"  
>"Wanna talk?"<br>"No"  
>"Fine" she sighed turning away but hesitating as she turned back. "You know Dan you always were stubborn"<br>"I'm not being stubborn for fucks sake" I shouted loudly glaring at her. "Leave me alone!"  
>"Fine" she shrugged then left, leaving me to focus my attention on the pointless images once again.<p> 


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30.

Dougie POV: 

The next morning, after no sleep whatsoever, I crept down the stairs, praying to God that things would go my way just once, I wanted to walk into the kitchen to find Tom, no one else, just Tom. I had been doing a lot of thinking, that was one of the reasons that I had got no sleep, about what I wanted to do and I had come to a final decision. Maybe it wasn't 100% what I wanted but I had a strong feeling that I would have to take this huge chance and risk everything or I would lose everything the only good thing that was left in my life. So, as I took a deep breath, I pushed the kitchen door open but my face fell when four familiar faces stared up at me, I knew nothing would go my way, even God hates me. I wanted to run as far as I could; I'd never felt like such a coward. I'd never been scared like this before, so scared that I was frozen to the spot. Before any of this shit happened I was constantly being cocky and over confidant. I never let anything bring me down to this level. I never thought anything was worth it. The silence fillied the room was causing shivers to run up and down my spine. There was one pair of eyes that were purposely avoiding me, she stared down at her tea concentrating on stirring it way too much, I could tell she knew I was there and was very much aware of my presence. Part of me was begging her to turn her head to look at me so that I could see her face again but then the other part of me was hoping and praying that she would just concentrate on her tea because I didn't want to have to be faced with all of the pain and misery that would be in her eyes, pain and misery caused by my actions. I was still stood in the doorway when Becky got up from her seat and walked over to the sink without even so much a glance in my direction. My eyes fell to the floor, my throat tight so I couldn't speak, tears were beginning to form…  
>"Come on" Tom mumbled stepped forward. I could feel Harry's eyes on my, glaring at me with so much hatred; I was finding impossible to remember the times when I thought of him as one of my bestest friends. Tom's hand rested on my shoulder as he gently turned me around and directed me from the kitchen, closing the door quietly, and leading me into the front room. "Are you alright mate?" he asked softly sitting down on the sofa. I stayed stood up because I felt unbelievebly awkward. That was a feeling I thought I would never experience in this house.<br>"Um...Tom?" I said looking down at the carpet. My voice quivered slightly from the shock of what had just happened in the kitchen. "Yeah?"  
>"I know I have no right to ask anything of you after what I've done and you have already done more that enough for me even though I don't deserve any of it. I totally understand if you don't want to but could you do me a huge favour?"<br>"Yeah. I'll do anything for my best mates so don't get all worked up Doug. I still love you, you know? I don't care what you've done." "Could you take me to my mums?" His expression soon changed to a puzzled frown but he nodded anyway.  
>"Thank you!" I smiled half-heartedly. I noticed that my legs were beginning to get numb so I had no other option apart from to slide onto the sofa beside Tom. "I'll promise you that I will learn to drive someday." Tom chuckled lightly before turning to look at me.<br>"So, how come you want to go to your mums?" he asked, trying to sound as casual possible even though I knew he was just being nosy. I suppressed a smirk and then replied.  
>"I just need to talk to her about something." I shugged, smiling weakly<br>"Is it something to do with Danny?"  
>"Can we go pretty soon?" I gulped; I wasn't ready to go over what had happened with Tom yet. I really wasn't.<br>"Yeah, sure we can." he nodded looking back down to the floor. Silence fell around us again making me feel awkward and causing me to fidget and dart my eyes around the room. It had never been like this before. Half an hour later we were in the car, turning out of the drive, I put on the radio not caring what song came on as long as it filled the silence, Tom tapped on the steering wheel to the drumbeat as he waited for the traffic lights to change.  
>"Tom?" I couldn't stand the silence anymore.<br>"Yep?" he turned a corner glancing at me quickly.  
>"Thanks again." I said softly "Like I said before, you really didn't have to. And after everything…well you owe me nothing."<br>"I thought I'd already told you this, you're still my friend, no matter what you do." he said simply. Nothing more was said for a while but the atmosphere had shifted to a friendly one. I sighed happily and looked out the window at the passers on the street wondering what sorts of life they lead. I was desperate for other things to think about apart from the thing I was about to do, the thing I'd put of for ages, was I giving in? Or just trying to salvage the one thing I needed to survive?

We arrived quickly due to the lack of traffic. Typical isn't it? When you're in a hurry and late for something important, the traffic is endless but when you just want to take a while to gather your thoughts and everything, there is any car in parked outside my childhood home and I closed my eyes for a second, this was where I had been honestly happy with Emma, and I admit, when I saw the street where we grew up together I felt an ache in my heart, I missed her.  
>"You ok?" Tom asked nervously<br>"Yep." I nodded trying my best to sound confident but failing miserably.  
>"Want me to come with you?"<br>"Do you mind if I go on my own?" I asked quietly biting my lip gently "It's just that I need to do this and it will be harder if your there. And I...Oh, I don't know."I shrugged.  
>"You know that if you told me what you're planning, I might be able to help." He said quietly nudging me slightly to indicate that he wanted me to look up. I did and met his eyes.<br>"Um...see you in a bit." I whispered "I won't be long, I promise. I doubt I'll be stopping long." He nodded, looking defeated, and started playing with the radio stations as I got out and closed the door gently behind me.

The tension started to mount as I got to the door, my hands were trembling as I knocked as loud as I could manage on the blue painted door, I painting that with Jazzie and Dad. Emma came over and knocked the paint pot over, I don't think she was ever able to forgive herself because there's still some blue paint marks on the step. I looked down giggling lightly as I scuffed my feet along them.

"Dougie, baby!" My mum looked so happy to see me I could have cried there and then. I bet you'll find it hard to believe that I never cried before you came along. Too be honest I've cried so much since being with you I don't think I could go back to never crying"Hey mum." I mumbled, gulping slightly. I hoped my mum would notice.  
>"Come on in, love." But instead of being pleased to see me, her face was now full of concern. She had obviously noticed the tone of unsureness in my voice."You just missed your Jazzie. She went out with Daisy... You do remember her don't you? Your cousin." I smiled.<br>"Course I remember my own cousin mum." I laughed weakly, walking into the home and turning to her as she closed the door.  
>"Well, I'm suprised you even remember me and your sister. It's been so long since you've seen us." She smiled opening her arms for a hug "Why didn't you ring to let me know you were coming? I could have gone to the shop, or got Jazzie to go for me because we've got no food." I leant into her as she hugged me and felt her laughter vibrating on my shoulder.<p>

"Sorry mum." I said under my breath "I'm aren't staying for long anywway."  
>"Doug what's the matter?" she frowned as she pushed my hair away from me eyes. "You need to get to the hairdressers and get that cut." She said, obviously making an attempt to lighten my mood. I laughed shakily, then gulped, as the threat of tears became real.<br>"Is this about Emma? Have you had an argument or something." She said sympathetically "You can stay here while things cool down if you want but I'm sure you'll work it all out so-"  
>"No we didn't." I interrupted her gaining her eye contact "I mean... Y-yeah, we did but it isn't as simple as you think. W-we kinda broke up." I said as I felt tears welling up in my eyes. If just telling her about the break up was that hard, I couldn't even imagine how hard it was going to be to tell her about you. "It was about month ago." Her eyes grew wide as she gasped. "A month ago!"<br>"Yeah" I nodded taking a deep breath "Come into the lounge, mum." I took her hand and lead her in. She looked so shocked and confused. "There's so much more that I still need to tell you and I need you to listen. Please don't interrupt or anything untill I've said what I've got to tell 'cause this is important."  
>"Alright." She nodded, the look of confusion still etched onto her face. "But Doug, you and Emma really broke up? How? Why? Her mum never said anything to me."<br>"I doubt she even knows. But too be honest I haven't spoken to Emma since the break-up. Well, not recently at least."  
>"What?" she exclaimed "Are you telling me that she's in London on her own?"<br>"Not exactly, she's got Harry and everyone. But mum, please." I begged "Just let me tell you everything, then you can shout at me as much as you want."  
>"Fine." She held her hands up and sunk into the sofa "Carry on."<br>"Ok" I nodded, trying to figure out where I could begin. I sat down on the sofa next to her and turned to the side so I was facing her but didn't look her in the eye, I kept my gaze fixed onto the wall behind her. "Do you remember Danny?" I decided the getting straight to the point would be the simplest option.  
>"I don't understand-"<br>"Do you remember him, mum?"  
>"Um... well, yes" She nodded, her face screwing up in confusion.<br>"Okay. Good." I nodded. Now what do I say? "Well. It turns out that I'm..." I tried to find my words, groaning in frustration with myself. "I'm kind of... well... I'm g-gay, mum."  
>Her frown deepened "I'm sorry, what?"<br>"I'm gay." I said with more confidence in my voice "And for like the past year of something, me and Danny were seeing each other behind and Emma's and his girlfriend Becky's backs. We love each other a lot though. And I'm not saying that I'm proud of what we did, I'm far from it, but it happened and I don't regret it, I can't regret it. Because I love him so much mum, I really, really do." I paused, my gaze on the my lap. "So about a month or so ago everything came out. It wasn't pretty or fun. Actually it was horrible and I wish it could have been different but it wasn't. So we left and now I'm with him or at least I want to be." I nodded firmly "I love him." I repeated. Then I paused for a while longer and reluctantly looked up at mum cringing at the look of disappointment on her face. "I…erm…I'm finished. You can talk now."

"Oh Dougie." She shook her head and rubbed her face in her hands. "I don't believe this. I just don't believe it."  
>"You have no idea how sorry I mum." I pleaded "I never meant for anyone to get hurt. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."<br>"You know what it's like though! I thought that after what your father did to our family, how much he hurt us, you would understand! You know how it feels Dougie!" She snapped her head up looking tired and worn out as she searched me with her questioning eyes. "I never thought you of all people would do something like this!"  
>"I'm nothing like dad!" I said, searching my mum's face for any sign that she didn't mean what she was saying. "I didn't know...I mean…" I shook my head letting tears fall. "I aren't like him!" She looked at me, the disappointment showing in every crease, then turned her head to the floor.<br>"Mum, please!" I shouted desperately. "Please just tell me that I'm not like him. I never meant to hurt Emma, you know that. If I could have stopped it I would have."  
>"Yes but you could have!" She said immediately. "You didn't have to take her with you. You could have let her stay here!"<br>"But I didn't know what would happen!" I cried  
>"You should have listened to me in the first place." She said firmly "Well it's too late now!" I shouted. "I've done it and I'm not sorry that it happened because I love Danny!"<br>"None of this is about Danny!" She stated. "I don't care about that, I don't care if you're gay! This isn't about me or anyone else. This is about you hurting someone who you promised you would look after." She paused "You promised me, Dougie." I said nothing, my hands were trembling uncontrollably and my head was spinning, what a disaster. But I couldn't tell you that I hadn't predicted it.  
>"And you lied. You lied to me." She pointed out "I rang you only a few days ago and you told me Emma was out. You didn't say a thing about you leaving her."<br>"I didn't want to disappoint you" I shrugged.  
>"If you really wanted that you would have thought this through." She sighed "I knew joining this band would be bad for you. I should have made you stay."<br>"This has nothing to do with the band!" I snapped "Why can't you just be happy that I've found someone?"  
>"Because," She frowned angrily "in the process of finding someone you broke a heart, in fact, you broke more than one heart. You mistreated a loyal girl and a best friend. If I'm going to be completely honest, I'm ashamed."<br>"But I'm your son!" I shouted also getting angry "Doesn't that mean anything to you? You should stick by me no matter what. But no, Emma was always your favourite, wasn't she? She was the good girl who had a good influence on me, she was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to this family. You were probably more thrilled to meet her than when you found out you were pregnant with me or Jazzie. Well maybe if you hadn't pushed me into asking her out we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place!" I let all my anger out as she sat and watched me, taking it, letting me boil up in rage.  
>"I think that you should go." she said gently but firmly. "I just really think it would be best."<br>"So that's it?" I snapped still trying to keep my angry role. "You're just going to chuck me out and forget that I ever existed. Just like you did with Dad."  
>"Your father was a lying, cheating scumbag." she spat "He tore our whole family in two."<br>"So basically, what you're implying is that I'm turning into him." I stood up in rage  
>"No that isn't what I'm saying." she said simply "What I'm saying is that I thought I brought you up to learn from his mistakes." she looked up at me then away again "Just leave please. Just get out."<p>

I nodded, feeling ready to break down and cry but determined to keep my head high. Though I was losing a lot as I walked out that door, my mum had always been my rock. But I knew this would happen, I knew she wouldn't forgive me for cheating and lying. But I told her.  
>"Doug?" I got into the car and Tom immediately noticed my tear stained swollen face. "What the…"<br>"Can you do one more thing for me Tom?" I sniffed trying to keep my voice normal.  
>"Sure" he nodded still looking concerned "anything"<br>"Will you take me somewhere else?"  
>"Yeah. Where?"<br>"Bolton."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Danny's P.O.V

Evening arrived and the only things I had done all day were, bring my bedcovers down onto the sofa, make cup after cup of tea while being careful to avoid my mum and Vicky and watching hours of pointless TV. Piles of tissues laid around me, I'd used them to prevent myself from crying everytime tears were threatening to fall. This day had been so empty and cold I didn't know how I was going to survive another one, let alone a whole lifetime without you.  
>"Danny?" My sister opened the door slowly, I grunted in response. "D'you want any dinner?"<br>"Nah, I'm alright." I shrugged trying my hardest to keeps all of my focus on the television.  
>"You're a liar." She sighed closing the door behind her as she entered.<br>"Vicky, I'd rather be alone." I stated bluntly.  
>"Tough. You've been on your own all day." she replied sharply while moving my feet from the sofa and sitting down next to me, snuggled up into the cover beside me. I sighed loudly and sat up, pulling my knees to my chest, the quilt covering me up to my chin. "You know Danny," she said slowly I waited for her to start some rant. "I hate this show."<br>"Really?" I asked tiredly. I tried to sound interested but it just came out like I was bored.  
>"Yeah. I mean, watching some guy tell you about how to survive in the Amazon Rainforest never interested me much." She said sounding amused. " Come on Danny, when are you planning on using his techniques in finding the right places to sleep when they're a heavy storm." I laughed, it felt good, and rolled my eyes playfully.<br>"Well, it could happen. Never say never."  
>"It could happen to you." she giggled "You'd probably end up there because you got lost on the way to the shop down the street."<br>"Oi you! Don't be cheeky!" I nudged her while laughing properly, I had almost forgotten about you. But of course I could never really forget about you. I stopped laughing without even realising and all thoughts of you came flooding back making more tears spring in the back of my sore eyes.  
>"Dan?" Vicky tried gently her hand finding mine under the covers and giving it a gently squeeze. "If you truly love him, don't let him go."<br>"I don't get you Vicky." I whispered. "When you first met him-"  
>"Yeah well, I got to know him." she interrupted me. "And I was never mad a Dougie. It was just the fact that you had left Becky. Oh and I'm still angry at you for that you know!"<br>"Don't." I groaned, rubbing my face with my palms.  
>"Okay. Okay." She sighed "I'll forget it for now."<br>"I hate this so much Vicky, I really do." I whimpered biting my trembling bottom lip and looking at her trying to find something that would calm me.  
>"I don't get it though. If being without him for one day makes you like this, why'd you let him go?"<br>"He won't tell his mum about us."  
>"Oh Danny-"<br>"Yeah, I know, I know. I'm being stubborn blah blah." I pulled my hand away from hers. "You just don't understand Vicky. Mum doesn't get it either. We started this whole thing with one lie after another and I don't want it to carry on like that. I don't want people thinking he's with Emma when he's with me. I want everyone to know."  
>"Maybe you're a little paranoid?" she suggested carefully.<br>"I know I am." I nodded in agreement, "I can't help but worry that I could never take Emma's place, that she's the only one he will ever truly love. I was constantly thinking that he'd wake up one morning, take one look at me and realise that he doesn't really want to be with me, that I wasn't worth any of the shit that he'd been through."  
>"But you obviously are, Dan." she smiled .<br>"Am I?"  
>"To him yes!" She exclaimed. "I've seen the way he looks at you. "You can't fake it."<br>"Really?" I whispered.  
>"Danny, you're such an idiot." She laughed hitting me lightly on the head. "It doesn't matter who he tells and who he doesn't tell, isn't the fact that he was prepared to loose all of his friends for you enough?"<br>"But he left."  
>"According to mum, you didn't really give him much choice." She raised her eyebrow, causing me to hang my head in shame.<p>

"Danny there's someone at the door for you." My mum poked her head around the door with a huge grin on her face.  
>"I don't want to talk to anyone." I mumbled.<br>"I reckon you'll want to talk to this person." She smiled. I rolled my eyes and threw back my covers on to the floor making a point to show I wasn't in the mood. She stepped out of the doorway smiling slightly. I moved past her sulkily, walking into the hallway ready to tell whoever had interrupted my heart-to-heart with my sister to fuck off. Until I saw your icy figure standing next to the front door and after a moment I acknowledged who was standing next to you looking rather uncomfortable himself. Tom smiled at me slightly but I couldn't return the same look because your presence was making me nervous. I never expected you to come back but when I had wished for it you would be doing more hugging or kissing or something along the lines of that. Not what you were doing then, staring into me, I couldn't read what you were thinking or what you wanted me to say. It felt like you were still angry with me but the fact you had come all the way to Bolton must have meant something.

"Erm... Tom," My mum finally spoke, killing the silence "How about I make you a cuppa? You must be freezing!" She touched Tom's arm lightly and he immediately understood that she wanted us to have time alone. My sister, after smiling encouragingly at me, followed them. The silence was brought back like a zombie crawling around us daring us to fight it. You just stared at me with no emotion, as though there was no unbearable awkwardness, no uneasiness, I tried to stare back but everything was stopping me. The carpet had a lot more stains that I realised.  
>"I went to my mum's." You fought that zombie haunting us. I lifted my head up to look at you but couldn't meet your eyes. "I told her." I couldn't quite believe my ears.<br>"Really?" I whispered in disbelief.  
>"Yep." The coldness in your voice was the only thing stopping me from breaking into a grin, the only thing that was stopping me form from hugging you tighter than I'd ever hugged you before. Instead it made me feel ashamed.<br>"What happened? How did it go?" I asked wincing as I did so. What kind of a stupid question was that?  
>"Well, let's just say that she wasn't too over-excited." that same tone leaving your lips. I couldn't stand it.<br>"Does she has a problem with you being gay?" I looked down to the carpet as I asked you, if that wasn't the problem, I couldn't see what was.  
>"She doesn't care about me being gay." You replied sharply. I didn't blame you though, you had every right to be angry then since I had just called your mum homophobic.<br>"Right..." I nodded still looking at the carpet. I didn't like the atmosphere around us, things had never been like this before between us and it wasn't right. You sighed impatiently suggesting it was my turn to talk, to explain. "So... did you come all the way from London to tell me that?" I asked pathetically.  
>"No." he shrugged. "I could have rung you."<br>"Yeah, you're right." I agreed. "You do have my number." What a stupid thing to say.  
>"Yeah, I do." You were beginning to sound more amused now, the iciness that you began with was gone. I looked up, pulling out all my courage, and met your eyes. Something comforted me as you looked back, like the wall you had put up was crumbling away; well it wasn't a very strong wall.<p>

"I'm sorry, Doug." I mumbled my eyes not breaking contact. "I'm such a fucking idiot." You snorted and nodded in agreement  
>"Yep, you are."<br>"I thought I lost you." I admitted in a soft whisper.  
>"Sorry but you can't get rid of me that easily." you smiled gently causing the edges of me lips to curve.<br>"So, d'you forgive me?" I asked nervously, thinking it was time to get rid of the space between us…  
>"No." You replied but the smile was still there.<br>"Oh"  
>"You have a hell of a lot of making up to do, Mr Jones." you nodded."I ain't that easy!" You took a small step forwards, like mine your hands seem itching to touch mine.<br>"I'll do anything, I promise" I whispered walking towards you, closing the dead mans land between us, then I took your hands in mine. "Whatever it is, I'll do it."  
>"Come back with me then." you said softly.<br>"Back to London?" I asked, you nodded but I started to shake my head regretfully. Your face fell and sharply you slipped your hands away from mine leaving them cold and empty. "Don't Doug, please." I begged. 

"I went and told my mum for you." You hissed "I've completely lost her now. She hates me now. She thinks I'm turning into my dad",  
>"Doug…"<br>"No Danny!" you snapped "There's something that keeps popping up everywhere! I do everything you want me to do, I love you more then anything. But the second I ask you to do something for me..." you paused and shook your head angrily "You know what Danny? Just forget it! Forget I even came!"  
>"Hang on!" I pulled you back as you turned away. "How come it means so much for me to go back there?"<br>"Because it does!" You snapped. "I want what you apparently want, I want us to be together properly and we can't do that until we go back and sort out what we left."  
>"But…"<br>"You have to go speak to Becky." You told me bluntly "Not going isn't going to stop you being a dad!"  
>"You can't force me to go back there." I spat, forgetting how much of a hypocrite I was being.<br>"Oh!" you laughed. "I get it. You force me to tell my mum but I'm not allowed to make you do anything."

"No, I aren't saying that." I shook my head scrunching my eyes up. "What I meant is-"  
>"Shut up." You interrupted. "Look, I came here back here because I love you. I wanted to see you I wouldn't be able to cope with another without you. So I had to talk Tom into driving me up here, do you have any idea how far away it is? He wasn't exactly over the moon. I didn't come here just to let you walk all over me. I'm leaving in the morning, you can either come or stay here." He pushed me away, I stumbled backwards still registering what he had said, and he stormed into the kitchen leaving me alone with my thoughts.<p> 


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Dougie's P.O.V

Tom slept on the sofa that night, we did rock, paper, scissors for it. He was fine with it though because it meant he could watch his late night TV programmes. I was sleeping in the spare bedroom, the one next to your room. Your mum had been so lovely to us. She said that she was fine with us staying over and she even made us a proper dinner with meat and veg. She was really considerate to me because she didn't bring up anything about me and you, instead, her and Tom chatted about the band while I sat there pretending to look interested. I was too busy thinking about how you left the house when I asked you to come back with me and how I managed to fall so head-over-heels in love with a person who was so selfish. Look at Tom for instance, he'd been driving me all of England all day and hadn't complained about it once. Why couldn't I have fallen for him instead? I instantly regretted thinking that, it made me shudder at the thought, I wouldn't be able to do the things I'd done with you to him, it's just unnatural. Thinking things like this made feel even worse. I really didn't want my journey all the way up here to be waste. I just wanted you to see sense and come back with me.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed." I announced, standing up.

"You sure?" Your mum questioned. "I have some strawberry ice-cream. You practically lived off it when you lived here."

"I'm alright thanks." I smiled, remembering the ice cream fight we had.

"But Danny's going to be back soon." Vicky intervened. "Stay up and then you can talk when he gets here."

"No, Vicky." I said firmly "That's the reason why I have to go to bed."

"Well alright then." Your mum sighed defeatedly.

"Thanks for everything you've done today, Tom." I smiled. "Are you sure you don't want to sleep in the bed tonight? I really don't mind at all."

"It's fine." he grinned "I want to watch something on TV. It's a documentary." Now if that had been me saying that everyone would have known I was actually covering up to watch porn. But with Tom you know he is actually watching a documentary probably on some dead writer or something equally as boring.

"I hope you have fun." I chuckled before making my way out of the room and into the hallway, so I could slowly climb the stairs. All the way to an empty bedroom, once again, but this time you would be sleeping in the room next to me. A part of me wanted to leave right then but I knew that going down to Tom in the middle of the night and ask me to drive me back home was a bit too much to ask of him in one day, he is a huge pushover but even Tom isn't that bad.

I opened the door to the spare bedroom with a sigh. I had never been in this room before, I had no reason to when I lived here. It was extremely plain but it was nice. It was nothing like your room which was just your's, with all posters on the wall, and cuddly toys that you didn't manage to hide from me. I closed the door, causing the room to fall into darkness.

I stripped down to my boxers, switched on the lamp and the main light off, a little better for the eyes, and slid into the bed, between the sheets, which was cold and slightly uninviting but I forced my eyes to close and switched the lamp off. I twisted and turned for so long, it seemed like days but it was only hours. All my thoughts of you were taking over, I just wanted to be with you so badly. I know I could have been if I got up and walked into your room but I was being stubborn, I didn't want to give in to you.

At about 3am my eyes were finally starting to close naturally and my body was feeling more and more relaxed as the time passed. I was beginning to fall asleep when I heard the door open slowly. I stayed still, thinking for one second it could be you, but I dismissed that idea and decided it was a lot more likely to be some kind of murderer.

"Dougie?" Your voice whispered. I felt the bed dip and knew you were sat by my feet. The door was now closed so we were sitting in pitch black. I held my breath hoping you believed I was asleep, I was too tired and vulnerable to talk to you. But before I could stop you your fingertips curled around my covers and peeled them away from the top half of my body.

"Fuck !out and pulling them back. "I'm sleeping."

"You aren't." you chuckled "Your wide awake."

"Go away." I snapped.

"No." you replied simply "I want to talk to you."

"What could you possibly want to talk about at three in the morning!" I exclaimed but I kept it hushed so no one else could hear us and wake up. "Can't you wait till a more reasonable hour?"

"But you're going in the morning." You mumbled.

"Yeah but I aren't off that early, you can tell me before I go." I sighed. "Please Dan. I need to sleep, go back to bed."

"But I can't sleep if you aren't there." You whispered so quietly that if we weren't alone and in silence, I wouldn't have heard you. The words tugged at my heart my body filling with emotion pushing tears into my eyes.

"Just go." I mumbled. "I'm not going to let you change my mind. I'm leaving in the morning and that's final."

"I know." you nodded. "I'm not trying to change your mind."

"Go back to be then." I closed my eyes again. "We'll talk about it in the morning."

"No, Dougie. I want to say this tonight." You stroked my fringe out of my eyes causing shivers to run through my body, making me realize how much I wanted you, how much I _needed _you.

"Spit it out then!" I snapped trying to keep my breathing regular.

"I'm coming back with you tomorrow." You said so simply it could have been 'I'm going to buy a pint of milk'.

"Seriously?" I choked sitting up and finally meeting your eyes. "You really are?"

"Only if you want me to." you nodded sheepishly.

"I came all this way because I need you in my life." I shuffled forward and entwined my hand in yours. "What changed your mind?"

"I thought about it... a lot." you said softly, even in the dark I could see your eyes looking at me intensely. "I'd rather go through hell and back than not be with you."

I grinned my heart swelling, my Danny was back, the cheesy soppy Danny that you were.

"I have one more thing to say."

"Go on then."

"I'm so so sorry." You said it with such emotion and meaning I melted on the spot. "I'm a hypocritical bastard and I don't deserve you. I can't live without you though so please forgive me."

"It's done now, Dan." I smiled lifting my free hand and wiping away the tear that had strayed.

"I promise I won't leave you or let you walk away again."

"I know." I breathed shuffling towards you and coming as close to you as I could without touching your lips. Your heavy irregular breathing fell on my face causing me to giggle happily. You went to say something else but I silence you with a small kiss on the surface of your lips. Without any coaxing your mouth parted and sucked my bottom lip gently, fitting perfectly like a jigsaw. My hand unravelled from yours and cupped your face as the other crept to the back of your neck pulling you further into the kiss. You licked my bottom lip and your hand smoothly stroked along my thigh. I let your tongue enter, groaning at the feeling of your hand getting closer but not close enough, the kiss deepened as our tongues met exploring each other, tasting each other, enjoying what we had. It wasn't long before the kisses were more lustful and you were pushing me back gently so I collided with the bed bringing you down with me desperately.

I clung to your T-shirt and smoothed my hands over your chest and onto your back then slowly to your bum. I pushed down and lifted my hips so our erections met. Your broke the kiss and moaned in pleasure so loudly it turned me on even more. I pulled your T-shirt from your body and started to unbuckle your belt so we could both be semi naked.

"Someone's very keen." you spoke huskily into my ear.

"I need you, now." I groaned finally pulling apart the buckle and forcing the trousers over your well-kept arse. You chuckled and kicked them but you were being too slow, I could tell by your expression that you were enjoying the teasing. Determined to speed things up I pounced on your lips, forcing my tongue into your mouth and turning you over roughly so I was on top, dominating you.

"Dougie." you groaned as I ripped my lips from yours and attached them to you neck. I mumbled in reply, nipping and licking your neck. "I want you to make love to me."

I raised my head so it was hovering over yours, you had always been too scared of the pain when it came to sex, I was happy enough to let you fuck me but now you wanted it the other way. It couldn't have been better.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." you nodded looking desperate.

I grinned then pounced on your lips again to be met by your rough tongue forcing its way into my mouth. Obviously you were much more turned on by this. Your hands ran down my back and into my boxers, then you slid them off, and they were thrown to the side as yours were seconds later. I hovered over you looking down at you, both us already panting and sweating. Your lips captured mine in a gentle kiss, which completely contradicted the whole situation we were in.

"I love you" you whispered once the kiss was broken. I sighed, contentedly, and nuzzled my face into your neck breathing in your familiar smell.

"I love you too."

"Good." you chuckled tracing your fingers up my arms, making goose bumps jumped over my sweaty skin. "Now fuck me, bitch."

I giggled and kissed your neck gently, licking, and teasing you as you moaned my name lifting your hips so that our erections were forced together. Our lips met again in another passion-fuelled kiss.

When I felt the time was ready I pulled away from the kiss and sucked my fingers, lubricating them, I had done this to you before so it wasn't anything to worry about. But your eyes still screwed up as I pushed one finger in, followed with another, scissoring them to help ready you. I placed a small peck on your lips and removed my fingers figuring it was best to get started.

"It won't hurt as much as you think," I said truthfully, you nodded. I nodded with you and pushed your legs up further so there was easier access for my throbbing cock. Pushing the tip into your tight hole, I gasped, and placed my hands either on the pillow side of your head capturing your lips in mine as I pushed all the way in. You also gasped, and winced a little. I slipped my tongue into your pleading mouth to tell you soon enough any uncomfortable feeling would disappear.

Without parting our lips I pulled out and thrust myself back in deep inside you believing this way I would find your spot earlier. I let my tongue roam around your mouth as I repeated my actions, again and again. Until you threw your head back, breaking away from my lips, gasping as your nails scratched my back. I found it, and this thought fuelled a new sort of passions, I pounded into your hitting that spot again and again. My own body overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure that were soaring through me.

"Harder." you begged, I obeyed, plunging into you, caressing your lips with a lazy kiss. I panted and gasped for air, my sweat pouring out. My eyes met yours as I kept hitting that spot and you smiled breathlessly, wiping the fringe that was sticking on my forehead. Such a simple movement that caused my heart to swell, we were so perfect.

"Fuck. I'm gonna come." You gasped.

"I love you." I panted using all my energy to thrust inside you. In a matter of seconds you came all over my chest. Your head was thrown back as you screamed my name loudly. Well that was the last straw, the familiar feeling rose through my stomach, my load spurted inside you, and I rode through the orgasm collapsing when I was done. Our sweaty, come covered bodies, pressing against each other.

No words were spoken as we came down from the amazing orgasm, you slowly shuffled from under me, I slipped down beside you and you turned around taking my arm with you so it was curled around your waist. I sighed happily shifting so there was no space between your back and me. I kissed the back of your neck, savouring in the soft skin against my lips, then lay my head on the pillow and let myself fall into that perfect sleep.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Danny POV: 

Morning came quickly and I woke up with the feeling of your breath on my face, your arm was slung loosely around my waist and you mouth was parted slightly. I smiled at you while moving your hair out of your eyes so that I could see you beautiful face properly. . I loved sharing a bed with you, I loved being this close to you, and I loved you. Who am I kidding, I'll always love you.

I kissed you nose softly making your eyes flicker open, I could see a smile appearing on your lips as you looked me in the eyes.  
>"Morning beautiful." I whispered lovingly, kissing your forehead lightly"So, I'm beautiful now?" You giggled, your voice still sounding sleepy.<br>"Definately." I grinned moving my lips down to meet your's.  
>"Okay, okay. What do you want?" You teased, rolling your eyes.<br>"I want you." I whispered seductively.  
>"Yeah well, tough. You already had me last night." You giggled cutely. "And I'm still quite worn out from it."<br>"Same." I chuckled slipping my hand around your waist. "It was good though."

You closed your eyes, your smile was still painted on your face. I chuckled again. I couldn't take my eyes off you and I could tell you knew by the satisfied smile on your face.  
>"I think I'm in serious need of a shower." I said stroking your skin with my thumb because I knew you loved it, plus it felt so soft.<br>"I think you are too." You giggled, your eyes still lightly closed.

"Hey!" I gasped. "You're my boyfriend. You're meant to tell me that I always smell good and clean."  
>"I know but..." Your eyes opened and sparkled in that teasing way, "that means I would be lying to you." You shifted towards me, your breath hitting my skin. "You wouldn't like it if I lied, would you?" Your voice was low and husky, making me want to pounce on you, but I resisted.<br>"Yes! But only if it's about my hygiene." I teased softly looking from your eyes to your tender lips then back at your sparkling eyes.  
>"Haha, you're so funny." You said sarcastically but still with that hint of a smirk on your face. "Now go and get a shower while I have a lovely lie in."<p>

I didn't move as your eyes slipped closed again. I couldn't take my eyes off you, you looked so peaceful and cute, I could have stayed like that forever.  
>"Stop staring at me!" You turned over, sighing as you did, so your back was facing me. I forced back a giggle and started to trace your back with my fingertips.<br>"Danny! Get off!" you giggled curving your back to try and get away from my fingers. "Let me sleep!" you protested. I sighed as I took my hand away but still not moving; instead my eyes traced every detail on your back, detail I can retrace now in my mind, even to this day.  
>"Danny!" you exclaimed without turning around "Please stop. I think you have so serious problems. You're a creep."<br>"Well, it's your fault."  
>"How is it my fault?"<br>"You shouldn't be so bloody perfect!" I peeled the covers away from me as I spoke hating the feeling of the cold air. "Now where did you put my boxers?" I asked while bending over and looking under the bed. They weren't under there.  
>"How am I supposed to know?" You laughed loudly, twisting around to look over your shoulder so you could watch me stumbling around naked, trying to look for them.<br>"You were the one that took them off." I stated  
>"I know but I didn't exactly look and take note of where they landed."<br>"Can't you be serious for just one minute?"  
>"I am being serious! Look!" I looked at you and you were sat on the bed with a frown on your face, you were obviously trying to look serious but it just made you look so adorable. I smiled a little bit before turning away and continuing my search for my boxers.<br>"Where've they gone!" I exclaimed, "There is no way that I'm going out there naked."  
>"How come?" You were watching me with an amused expression etched on to your face."<br>"What if Tom sees me?"  
>"And? He's seen you naked plenty of times before." You chuckled.<br>"Yeah, I know but it's different this time 'cause if he sees me, he'll know what we've been up to." I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly"  
>"Erm... I don't want to make you uncomfortable of anything but from the amount of noise you were making last night, I wouldn't be suprised if the whole of Bolton knows what we were 'up to' last night." You grinned.<p>

"What?" I snapped around "I wasn't that loud was I?"  
>"Ha!" You snorted. "You almost deafened me."<br>"Doug stop it! Shut up!" I bit my lip nervously.  
>"Your own fault, not mine."<br>"Fuck, my mum would have heard wouldn't she?"  
>"No shit Sherlock."<br>"I aren't being funny now. This isn't a joke, Dougie." I was down on my knees now, looking for the mysterious pair of boxers.  
>"It sounds funny." You shrugged.<br>"Well it isn't, okay? So shut up." I straightened up so I was kneeling by the bed were your head was resting on the pillow your eyes shut with amusingly curled lips. "Why didn't we have the mad sex in my room? I have loads of boxers in there." I whispered just loving the look on your face. You looked so innocent yet the smile on your lips told me a completely different story.  
>"It was your choice, you know? You were the one that decided to come in here and seduce me." You stated rather plainly. "I was in the middle of a lovely sleep up until then and now your disturbing my well-deserved lie in. Anyway weren't you supposed to be in the shower, like, half an hour ago?"<p>

"You hid my boxers." I chuckled quietly while my eyes darted around the room.  
>"Of course I did because I'm that sad." Your voice was dripping with sarcasm.<br>"Just admit it. All you wanted was to see my innocent body exposed." I turned my head away from you as you mumbled something ridiculous like I wasn't innocent.  
>"Found them!" I spotted them wedged behind the bedside table. "How did they end up there?" I scratched the back of my head in a confused way.<br>"Fuck knows. Are you going now?"  
>"Yeah." I kissed the top of your nose making you screw up your already closed eyes and wrinkle your nose. My God, I could have made love to you right there and to be honest, I would have if I didn't need a shower so badly. I stood up and pulled on my boxers, taking one glance at your nearly sleeping frame then I walked across the room to the door.<br>"Oh Doug." I turned as I opened the door.  
>"Yes?" You snapped.<br>"I love you." I called grinning as I did.  
>"Great. Now, get out you smelly git!"<br>"Wow! What did I ever do to deserve someone who is as kind to me as you are?" I laughed gently and opened the door wider so I could step outside.  
>"Dan?" I heard you call from the room.<br>"Yes?"  
>"Please, don't be long" I smiled stopping for a moment hearing those little words repeating in my mind. I loved it. Just loved it. I loved feeling all soppy, how do I explain it? You could do anything and it would make me feel weak inside. I can't even begin to explain how much I loved you.<p>

I walked to the bathroom reaching for the doorknob so I could open it but it got swung open by someone on the other side. Tom stood there staring back at me. I felt a small tugging at my heart when I looked at him and realised just how much I had missed him.  
>"Hi Tom." I smiled shyly .<br>"Hi!" He smiled back and I could just tell that it was genuine. "How've you been lately?" I stepped backwards so he could walk out of the bathroom.  
>"I've been good." I turned as he walked to the stairs "What about you?<br>"Well, I've been alright I suppose." He shrugged "Been missing you though."  
>"Really?" I smiled. "You miss me?"<br>"God, I know" He rolled his eyes overdramatically. "I actually miss the clutter of your breakfast mess in the mornings."  
>"You really miss my clumsiness?" I chuckled.<br>"Yep." he grinned. "And having to explain everything five times to you.  
>"No way! You hate having to do that!"<br>"I guess I've just missed spending time with you, Dan. You're one of my bestest friends ever and I hate not having you around all the time."  
>"Well Tommy, I've missed you as well." I grinned. "And I'm coming back."<br>"Seriously?" he grinned. "That's great!" He stepped forwards but stopped, that childish grin still stuck on his face. "I would give you massive hug but I don't know where you've been so..."  
>"Excuse me?" I chuckled "I'm cleaner then you." I joked.<br>"Yeah right." He rolled his eyes placing his foot on the second step of the stairs "From what I heard last night, I highly doubt it." He laughed loudly before turning and running up the stairs, leaving me stood there feeling embarressed with my jaw hanging wide open.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Dougie's P.O.V

I will always remember that morning, the morning where we woke up together after being apart, the morning that made us realise just how much we were meant to be together. For me, waking up like that was enough to get rid of all the doubts in my mind and even though telling my mum about us had been the worst experience of my life, it all seemed worth it if I got to be with you. Opening my eyes to see you next to me and just talking like all couples do on a morning and missing you the second you left the room made me feel funny inside, it made me realise how much I loved you. I mean, how much I _love_ you.

If I'm honest I lived for mornings like that, during the bad times I'd just think back to that morning and remember why we were together. That's what made me hang onto the hope that we would never be apart again, thinking of things like that made me feel relieved and carefree

So I jumped down the last couple of steps and made my way to the kitchen. There you were sitting at the table chatting happily away to Tom, your mum and Vicky. I smiled at the scene in front of me and then you looked up and grinned.  
>"Hello sleepy head." You beamed at me. You held out your hand so that I could take it but at first I hesitated because I knew that everyone in the room would see. I decided I would just take it, hoping that you didn't notice and you thankfully didn't. When you held my hand in yours, I noticed that I didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable, I just felt happy that I could hold your hand in front of all these people without a care in the world, I felt relieved. I held your hand tight and bent down to meet your lips with mine. I could hear your mum giggling happily but instead of looking at her when I pulled away, I kept my forehead rested onto your's, looking into your crystal blue eyes.<p>

You pulled a chair over for me, right next to you, and sat down slowly keeping my eyes locked with yours. We were in our own world; I didn't even hear the conversation buzzing around us and I didn't care that we were getting those 'aw aren't they cute' glances our way. I didn't care that Tom had never seen us act like a couple till now, I didn't care what he thought. You were there in front of me. Then you broke the eye contact and move closer to me, your lips right near my ear your breaths tickling my skin.  
>"They know what we did last night." you whispered. I giggled quietly so only you could hear.<p>

"I told you." I whispered back "How do you know they know?"

"Tom said something, it was so awkward." you chuckled. "And I keep catching mum and Vicky looking at eachother like they know something."

"You should have been quieter." I mumbled. "But I'm glad you weren't. It was hot." Then I pulled away and bit my lip seductively as I winked at you. You chuckled and rested the hand that had been entwined with mine on my thigh; I sighed and placed mine over it. You flashed me a smile then turned to your mum asking her to pass down the cereal to me. I watched you intently as you did this, something so simple made me grin from ear to ear. You laughed and made a cheeky comment to your mum who whacked you around the head playfully. She then passed me the cereal box, a spoon and a bowl. I broke away from you and looked up at her saying thank you. Vicky handed me the milk, smiling at me in a knowing way, it made me blush so I tried to hide it by turning my head to look out of the window.

"So when are you heading off?" Your mum asked, taking a seat at the table. I shrugged and looked at Tom, who was rushing to swallow the bit of bacon sandwhich in his mouth so that he could answer the question clearly.  
>"Erm... whenever really." He shrugged. "It'd probably best if it was soon though 'cause I reckon Harry will be pissed off enough as it is." I smiled sympathetically but hoped no one would question about Harry. I don't think any of us could understand why he was acting so strange.<br>"I think I'd better pack then." You stood up leaving the spot where your hand had rested cold. "You coming?" You asked me, looking straight into my eyes.  
>I nodded taking a large spoonful of cereal and standing up quickly. I chuckled as you pulled me from the kitchen, before I knew it your lips were crashing onto mine. I groaned loudly and let your tongue enter, it roamed around in my mouth, massaging my tongue. I walked backwards my ankles colliding with the bottom step of the stairs we were supposed to be going up. I gasped and fell backwards my butt landing uncomfortable on a step; you fell down with me giggling uncontrollably on top of me.<p>

"Dan, get off." I half groaned half laughed. "I've hurt my bum." You rolled over and sat on the step next to me still giggling quietly to yourself.  
>"How did we manage that?" You said, your giggles had now changed into full on its of laughter and I couldn't help but smile at you.<br>"It's your fault." I grinned. "You need to learn to keep your hands and your tongue all to yourself."  
>"Fine, I will and we'll see how long you last without me." You stuck your tongue out playfully.<br>"Cheeky"

"Come on." you laughed pulling me up and practically pulling me up the stairs and into your room. "Now," you dropped my hand and walked over to the wardrobe. "what should I pack?"  
>"Just pack what you brought with you." I laughed lying back on the bed. "My stuff is still here, I left it."<br>"I know you did." You grinned. "It's in your suitcase over there." You pointed behind you at my suitcase that was propped up against the wall."I'm glad I never unpacked."  
>"Yeah but now you're clothes are all creased." You told me.<br>"Typical gay." I teased watching you opening your suitcase and throwing all the clothes you had brought, plus some extras.  
>"Speak for yourself." you retorted. "I forgot I had half this stuff."<p>

I watched you in amusement as you brought out old clothes that you hadn't seen in years.  
>"Oh no! These aren't goin gto fit me anymore." You brought a pair of tattered old jeans to your body and looked down at them with a sad face. "Look, I've put on so much weight! This is what happens to you if you've been living with your mum for a whole month." I sat up and reached over my hand to lift your top up. I grinned as I patted your stomach gently.<br>"Nothing wrong with a bit of meat." You laughed then threw the trousers on the floor and, to my dismay, jumped right on top of me. I tensed and groaned as your whole body weight pressed me against the bed.  
>"Okay, I agree. You are fat." I teased even though I couldn't breath properly due to your heavy body on top of mine.<br>"Oh God. You're really in trouble now, Dougs." You moved your hand to my stomach and started tickling me, with difficulty I laughed extremely loud, I was amazingly ticklish and you knew exactly where to get me. "Stop it, Danny!" I begged trying to push on your shoulders but you took hold of my wrists and pinned them down above my head on the pillow. I tried kicking you off of me but it made no difference, you were way too strong for me. "Please!" I giggled wriggling as best I could. In the end you were laughing too hard to hold me down anymore. You rested your head on my chest gasping for air as you tried to calm your fit of giggles. You rolled to the side of me, keeping your head on my chest and closed your eyes, wrapping your arm around my waist. I sighed and started to play with your hair which was still slightly damp from your shower.

"Doug?" You whispered.

"Hmmm?"

"I love you so much."


	35. Chapter 35

**I realise it's been ages since I updated this story but I've also been posting it on tumblr and I forgot to post chapter 35 & 36 on here. I've just finished writing 37 and that's going to be posted now so you get three chapters in one. I'm sorry for the long wait but school has been hard! :)x**

Chapter 35

Danny's P.O.V

I got into the back of Tom's car and you followed, leaving Tom to sit in the front on his own. You leaned into and I slung my arm around your shoulders.  
>"Okay guys. I have one rule." Tom spoke strictly, turning round in his seat to look us in the eyes.<br>"And what might that be?" You asked cheekily. You were fidgeting as you spoke so you could get into a comfortable position and rest your head on my shoulder.  
>"No making out." He stated. I was trying to hold back a smirk as he spoke and I know you were too. "Do you understand? I'm straight and I just aren't ready to see my two best friends who I pretty much only just found are gay, snogging in the back of my car."<br>"Okay Tom, we get it." I chuckled .  
>"By the way, the rule doesn't just apply to you two, I aren't that mean." He informed us while starting the car and driving off of my mum's street. "Absolutely no one makes out in my car unless it is me a really hot girl." You turned your head so you were leaning into my neck and giggled.<br>"Alright then. So," I held up my hand which was still wrapped around you and started to count, using my other hand to point to my fingers. "The rules are now, no smoking, no drinking, no eating, no animals in the car, no sticking your head out of the window while the car is moving and no making out."  
>"That is correct, Mr Jones." Tom nodded proudly catching my eye in the mirror.<br>"You're obsessed mate." You chipped laughing.  
>"I aren't obssessed, I'm just dedicated." He corrected.<br>"A loopy weirdo would be a better description." I mumbled queitly so you were the only one who could hear. You chuckled locking your beautiful, sparking blue eyes with mine. You opened your mouth to speak, as Tom went round a roundabout.  
>"What turning am I meant to take Danny?" Tom asked squinting at the signs.<br>"Where've you put your glasses?" I asked looking out the window.  
>"In the thing…" he nodded to the glove compartment. "Come on Dan, which turning?"<br>"How am I supposed to know?" I asked him, confused.  
>"You where the one that used to live here!" He shouted.<br>"That doesn't mean I remember every little thing." I snapped back, looking at the signs without out a clue of which one to head towards. I couldn't help but smirk as he squinted his eyes, trying his hardest to see them properly.  
>"For fucks sake Danny!" He shouted.<br>"Over there!" You suddenly shouted, making me jump a little. "Look!" You pointed at it and Tom turned sharply, just making it. I looked at the sign closely as we passed it.  
>"Yeah." I nodded "I think I remember now."<br>"Thanks for the help, Doug." Tom sighed rolling his eyes. "Danny, your so thick." He smirked.

You looked up and grinned smugly at me. I rolled my eyes and poked your ribs; you giggled so cutely then pouted at me I couldn't resist. I had to kiss you.  
>"Stop it Danny!" Tom shouted making jump apart from your lips. You started to chuckle again.<br>"Fucking hell, Tom."  
>"What did I tell you earlier?"<br>"You told me that we weren't allowed to make out." I repeated back to him in a bored tone. "But just look at that beautiful face." I held your chin, pushing your cheeks together slightly your lips were pouted. "How do you expext me to resist that?" I let go and giggled as you fluttered your eyelashes. Again I just couldn't help myself, I placed my lips on yours kissing them gently but you had other ideas and used your hand, now on the back of my head, to press us closer together. I groaned and opened my mouth letting your tongue slip in and fill my mouth.  
>"Guy's please, come off it." Tom exclaimed. I could barely hear him. "I thinkI might be sick." He mumbled. You giggled into the kiss but didn't stop, our tongues moved together.<p>

A few hours later, after breaking some more rules, you lit up a cigerette and I poked my head out the window while we were driving down a practically empty motorway, I love the feeling of the wind in my face, we arrived back at the house. I sighed when I looked at it, I hadn't wanted to arrive here, and I was enjoying the car ride. I knew walking into that house was going to cause more conflict, there were things I was going to have to face, things I was going to have to deal with, and I wasn't ready yet. But I was doing it for you. You. I had to remember that.

We parked but all three of us stayed still. I could tell Tom was about to say something, something he didn't want to say. So we both waited as Tom looked blankly at the house, his eyes not moving. Then suddenly he turned around and looked at us seriously which was a huge change from the joking that had been going on earlier.  
>"Alright guys." he sighed "I don't mean to sound harsh but you can't stay long." He didn't pause long enough for either of us to cut in, not that we were going to. "I mean, I get thats its your house too and you should be allowed to stay as long as you want and to be honest, if it was only me here I would let you but Emma and Becky are here, they'll be upset if they have to spend a long time with you. Harry's acting like a complete twat as well so..."<br>"Tom." You interrupted firmly "We understand. We weren't planning on staying long anways."  
>"Yeah, we get it." I added.<br>"Honestly, we'll be hear for a couple of days at the most."  
>"We really don't want any trouble." Tom sighed and nodded.<br>"Thanks alot guys." He took another huge deep breath before getting out of the car.

I couldn't help but wonder why he was so nervous, you must have understood though because you had already been here and you seemed completely unfazed by it all.  
>"Are you getting out then?" I turned around to see you stood on the path out side the car, bending over to look into the car at me while I was busy daydreaming.<br>"Oh, yeah." I laughed. I opened the door and stepped out of the car, my face immediately felt the ice cold wind. In almost under two seconds you wre right buy my side, holding me hand tightly in your own. I frowned in confusion, all night I had been preparng myself for you to be all self-concious and awkward infront of everyone. Maybe you were over it.

We said nothing as we waited for Tom to open the door. The moment the door was swung open I had to hold back my gasp. How can one simple hallway fill you with so many emotions? I felt sad because of all the memories and guilty because I was only just realising how much I had missed it, and I also felt at loss because I wasn't sure whether I wanted to step back in time.

We stepped in; your hand still clenched in mine making me feel secure. Then as the door closed Harry stepped out of the living room. A frown was fixed on his face, I felt somewhat disturbed by the look he gave me. The grip on my hand from yours tightened.

"What the fuck Tom?" Harry's head snapped around to face who he was addressing. Honestly, the phrase, if looks could kill really applied to this situatuon.  
>"Harry please." Tom replied with an exhausted sigh. "Can we have this conversation later on?"<br>"No Tom, we can't." Harry snapped back. "You just left for a whole night without even so much as a fucking phone call. I mean, Emma and Becky are complete wrecks..."  
>"Harry, come on!" Tom snapped<br>"Then you actually dare to bring them back here and think it's all okay!" He raised his voice and pointed a finger at us accusedly. I was shocked, no that's the wrong word, I was completely and utterly stunned. Harry was my friend, he played the drums our band, he had helped me through so much shit in the past, he was the person that I argued with every single day but we'd forget about it after ten minutes, we had so many inside jokes, we laughed at things that no one else found funny, we were best friends. Now it's as if none of that ever happened, now he hates us with a passion. He couldn't even look at us in the eyes and when his gaze fell on our hands clasped together, I'm pretty sure I saw him shudder. I never had Harry down as a homophobic.  
>"This do live here too, you know?" Tom mumbled "And they're aren't going to stay for long."<br>"To be honest, they've been here long enough already."  
>"Shut the fuck up!" Tom exclaimed. "It's all hard for me too."<br>"So why are you making it worse?" Harry shouted back, louder. It didn't feel right, Harry and Tom had never argued before, it was horrible.  
>"You can't expect me to just blatantly ignore the fact that they're our friends!"<br>"Friends." He scoffed.  
>"Stop it Harry." you mumbled. He closed his eyes shaking his slowly, which seemed to silence you.<p>

"Where are they?" Tom asked carefully after a moment's silence.  
>"Becky was really sick all last night so she's in bed." he said sounding like he was reading a script. "And Emma has gone to see her mum."<br>"What?" Tom frowned. "But didn't she sat that she wasn't going to tell her?"  
>"Yeah well, here mum rang. She found out from someone so Emma went down there." He shrugged.<br>"On her own?"  
>"No she took her imaginary friend." Harry snapped sarcastically "What do you think? I couldn't leave Becky in the state she was in last night."<br>"You should have rang me, Harry." Tom frowned. "Why didn't you just ring me? It's not hard." he demanded. Harry merely shrugged. "Harry!"  
>"You disappeared with him." He pointed towards you without even turning his head. "And then you went to meet up with him!" The finger changed to me. "If I had known what you were going away for, I would have change the fucking locks."<br>"You such a fucking prick!" Tom spat. "I really can't be bothered with all your bullshit right now!" Then he left the hallway and went into the living room, slamming the door violently behind him.

Silence filled the space around us but with one last look of disgust, towards me, he left us standing there. After a moment you tugged me gently, I faced you and you smiled weakly even though I could see tears glistening in your eyes. Did I look like you did? So hurt and lost?

You pulled at my arm again and lead me up the stairs.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36.

Dougie's POV: 

We stayed in our room, it was actually your room but you said it was ours now, for the rest of the day. We didn't feel hungry or anything, we were just enjoying each other's company and we didn't want to face the real world. We could have gone into my room I suppose but I really didn't want to see it, it was too full of memories both good and bad. Your room was bigger anyway so it was a much better option.

I sat on your bed, staring out of the window while you tidied away any kind of reminders of yoour life before everything happened. I heard you sigh and felt the bed sink as you sat on it opposite me. I sighed with you but didn't turn away from the window, the trees were swaying along with the wind, I watched every detail of the nature outside, though it still felt like we were the ones on the outside, or we were meant to be, and we were imprisoned.  
>"How come Harry hates us so much?" You whispered shakily, I could tell from your tone of voice that you found it really hard to ask. I took a deep breath, glancing at you and looking back to the window. I didn't know how to answer you.<br>"I really don't know." I whispered back turning my head to glance at you. You sat at the edge of the bed, your spine curved as you leant your elbows on your thighs, your hands holding your head up. You looked up after a moment and met my gaze.  
>"He's meant to be our best friend." you stated weakly. I gulped and turned away from the window fully, leaning my back against the wall and turning my gaze to the ceiling. "He..." you stopped to take a deep breath. I felt tears stinging at the back of my eyes, I'd never seen you so confused before. "he looked at us like he was abolutely disgusted."<br>"I-I know." I mumbled, moving my head to meet your eyes.  
>"What's wrong with us, Dougie?" You choked, you sounded desperate. I pushed myself from the wall and walked over to you slowly. I sat down next to you.<br>"Nothing!" I told you as firmly as I could while trying to sound a calm as possible. "There is nothing wrong with us Danny. Nothing at all." I reiterated making sure he heard me, making sure he knew.  
>"But he hates us Doug." You told me."He hates us so much. Tom doesn't hate us though."<br>"Exactly!" I interrupted. "If Tom doesn't hate us, how can there be anything wrong with us?"

You stayed silent, your gaze dropping to your hands in your lap, twisting them together nervously. I moved my hand to the back of your neck, softly stroking the skin, you shuddered slightly. I moved my head so it rested against the side of yours, my breath tickling your ear.  
>"I never thought…I never thought of it like we're gay, you know?" you explained. As you spoke I played gently with your curls and brushed my lips against your cheek hoping this would help you go on. "For most people it's like, they start going out and they freak out cause they realise they're gay, they feel like it's unnatural but with us, I only freaked out because I was worried, the part about falling in love with a guy just felt completely normal and natural."<br>"It is natural, Danny." I whispered, swallowing as I spoke. I replaced my head on your shoulder and nuzzled my face into your neck, taking in your scent. Your hand crept up to mine, which was lying on my lap, and held it delicately stroking my fingers. "It doesn't matter if other people think differently, none of it matters." I said, almost desperately, my face still buried in your neck.  
>"Yeah, I know" you sighed, holding my hand a little tighter, one of your hands dropping to my thigh and gently playing with my trouser material. "It just hurts a little when people don't or won't even try to understand what we've been through to be together and how much we love eachother. I just want everyone to know."<br>I lifted my head, suddenly determined to make you see I unwrapped my hand from yours and used my index finger to curl around your chin and pull your head towards me, so you were facing me, our eyes locked together.  
>"We know." I whisper so softly no one else could have possibly heard it, I didn't want anyone else to hear it, I wanted that moment to be between us. Your eyes locked with mine, glancing to my lips then back to my eyes again. My stomach flipped and made me smile, you smiled back then placed a simple kiss on my lips which told me everything was going to be fine.<p>

You fell asleep really early that night, around half eight, you need a good night's sleep though, I could tell. We had watched a few DVD's that were lying around your room, and some random telly, but we didn't talk much just lay together, kissing occasionally, holding hands. Though I knew we needed to talk, even though we were back together I knew we wouldn't be able to move forward fully if we didn't get things out in the open. There were things we needed to ask, to address, to sort out before we could properly call ourselves a couple.

I sighed softly and watched you sleep, curled up against me, your head resting on my shoulder, I smiled wondering what was going on in your mind, wondering what you were dreaming about. I was snapped out of my daydream by the unmistakeable sound of the front door opening and being slammed shut. I jumped a little bit and felt you stir underneath me but you didn't wake up. I thought nothing of the noise and was about try and fall asleep until I heard Emma's voice calling out for Tom. She seemed upset and lost, I wanted to ignore it and go back to being in my perfect world with you asleep beside just like a few seconds ago but curiosity got the better of me. I slowly wedged myself out from underneath gently kissing your cheek before leaving the room as quietly as I could. As quietly as possible I made my way to the top of the stairs, I wasn't planning on going any further, I could the conversation from there.

"Oh, do you know if Tom's here?" She asked softly, she was obviously talking to Harry as he was the only one left in the house.  
>"Yeah." Harry answered. "And guess what? He didn't come alone."<br>"What do you mean? Did he bring Becky back?" She questioned.  
>"No. And he wasn't doing what any decent person would do and taking Dougie home. Oh no, he only went and got the other one as well!"<br>"What? You mean Danny?"  
>"Yeah, who else?"<br>"Why?" She cried out softly, making my stomach flip, in the bad way.  
>"I don't have a clue." he stated. "Oh look here he comes." he added bluntly.<br>"Hi Emma. I wasn't expecting you to come back so soon." Tom said sounding concerned. I was intrigued so slowly I stepped down a couple of stairs and sat down near enough to see through the banister but still I was hidden away.

They were in the living room, facing away from me, I could clearly see the back of Tom but I couldn't see her.  
>"I wouldn't have even bothered if I know that they were going to be here." she sounded hurt and cold, I understood why she was acting like that but it still got to me a little bit.<br>"Oh, Harry filled you in did he?" Tom spat bitterly. "I was going to explain that myself."  
>"Yeah whatever." I heard Harry snap. Then I gasped as he came out of the living room, I prayed he wouldn't come upstairs, I dreaded to think of what he would do finding me eavesdropping. I was lucky; he turned sharply and made his way into the kitchen. I sighed, relieved, and carried on listening.<p>

"So what happened?" Tom asked carefully yet soothingly.  
>"She was absolutely horrible." Chaz stated bluntly, I knew who she was talking about. "I thought that she might be there for me for once, you know? Act like all good mum's are meant to and I thought she might give me a huge hug and tell me everything will be okay but no. All she said was 'I knew that boy would cause trouble.'" I could hear voice becoming thick with tears.<br>"I'm sorry Emma." Tom sighed sympathetically.  
>"Dougie's mum know about everything. Apparently he went round to tell her the other day."<br>"Yeah, I know." Tom nodded "I was the one that took him, that's where I went."  
>"Oh right." she paused "Well it must be really serious if he's told him mum, I know how disappointed she would be in him and he knows it too. I can't believe this is happening to us, I though we were doing great..." Fhe stopped abruptly and I knew she was breaking down into tears. Tom took a step forward and wrapped his arms protectively around her, I saw her fragile arms snake around his waist. That's how she used to hug me, then she'd hide her face in my chest, like the times when I would make her laugh so much that she wouldn't be able to stop.<p>

"Doug." A creak from above me made me jump and there you were standing at the top looking down confusion plastered over your face. I couldn't explain so I didn't, I let the tears fall freely s I turned my head back to watch, they were still hugging, he was saying comforting things to her but I knew he could say would give her any comfort.  
>You sat down next to me silently as glanced over at what I was watching you sighed heavily then took my hand in yours, linking them together.<br>"She's gonna be fine, Doug." You whispered gently. "Just give her some time."  
>"Do you really think?" I mumbled looking at you, my tears still falling.<br>"No, I don't think. I know." You smiled sweetly then wiped away my tears. "Please don't beat yourself up over it anymore"  
>"But I can't help it Danny." I admitted, "She's completely broken and it's all my fault. I broke my best friend."<br>"I have no idea how you must be feeling but I do know that she will heal in time." You said wisely pressing your forehead against mine. "Come to bed, sitting here witnessing it is only making it worse."  
>"And you aren't angry with me?" I asked weakly, biting my lip as I spoke.<br>"Why would I be angry at you?" You frowned.  
>"Because of you know... before." I was refering back to our argument where you said that you thought I was still in love with Emma.<br>"No Doug of course I'm not. I get it, okay?" you cupped my face and pulled me back to look at you. "Come back to bed?" I nodded and let you pull me up and lead me back to the bedroom, still feeling guilty but I couldn't understand why.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37.

Danny's P.O.V.

You were twisting and turning for the rest of the night, only staying still for a few seconds before flipping over again. I was scared, scared that what you had seen downstairs earlier had completely changed your mind about us, that you might possibly want to go back to her. There was a small part of me that felt sad about you getting so upset about your ex-girlfriend crying, I know I shouldn't have thought about it like that, though I was determined not to lose you again so I wasn't going to let anything else get to me.

Morning came and I was in a light sleep when your fingers danced lightly across my cheeks, I opened my eyes and smiled when I saw yours looking back.  
>"Hey." I my voice croaked a little since I had just woken up. "Are you okay?" I asked moving closer so our noses were touching.<br>"Yep." You smiled. "Dan, can you do me a favour?"  
>"Sure." I whispered.<br>"Go and make me a cup of tea, please." You batted your eyelids. I rolled me eyes overdramatically making you giggle. I sighed loudly.  
>"Why?" I whined, not wanting to move.<br>"Pretty please, I'm not ready to get up yet." You pouted.  
>"Stop looking at me like that!" I told you. "It's not fair."<br>"But I need tea!" You moaned screwing your face up as you did.  
>"What's up with you? Have you lost the ability to move your legs or something?" I giggled.<br>"Nope. I just want my lovely boyfriend to make me a splendid cup of tea"  
>"Tea I can do. A splendid cup of tea I'm not sure…"<br>"Danny!" you whined "Please…" I rolled my eyes again and threw the covers of myself."Fine but don't get into a habit of this!"  
>"I won't." You giggled then you sighed, pulling the covers up to your neck and closing your eyes again.<br>"Oh I see," I laughed "I make tea for you while you sleep. That's not fair."  
>"You can have tea too, don't worry." He said innocently.<br>"Oh wow. Thank you very much, Doug." I spoke sarcastically, getting dressed but wearing my clothes from the day before because I didn't have anything else. I glanced at you one more time, rolling at my eyes and laughing under my breath at how I didn't even care that you had me wrapped around your little finger.

I made my way downstairs, quite happily and took a step through the kitchen door before looking up and seeing Becky making a cup of tea. I gulped and stepped backwards, hoping to slip aways since she had her back to me and hadn't noticed me yet but because nothing ever goes my way, I stepped backwards and hit the doorframe, slamming my head against the wood.  
>"Fuck." I cursed under my breath while clutching my head. I thought I had cursed quietly but it obviously wasn't quiet enough.<p>

She spun around and glared at me before twisting around and carrying on with making her tea. I sighed, deciding that this would be a good oppertunity to talk to her about the baby since we were all alone. I cleared my thoat.  
>"Becky?" I took a deep breath before speaking again. "I think it's about time we talked."<br>"About what?" she turned sharply, with her newly made tea in her hand and frowned at me.  
>"About... You know..." I said, not wanting to say it out loud. She raised her eyebrow questioningly and took a long sip of her tea.<br>"A-about the baby." I stuttered. "Our baby." I added quietly, looking down at my feet.  
>"You mean, <em>my<em> baby." She corrected placing her cup down on the counter behind her, the one she was leaning on, and crossing her arms over her chest.  
>"No, I mean <em>our<em> baby." I shook my head, looking her in the eyes properly for the first time in ages. "Nothing can change that, absolutely nothing."  
>"Come on, Danny." she stated firmly. "I'm 12 weeks pregnant and you went and buggered of with your best friend. Do you really think you have a choice in the matter? You are not going to be a part of this baby's life." She sighed, rolling her eyes. "So no, Danny. We don't need to talk about anything. Why don't you just go back upstairs to your lovely boyfriend and stop worrying about all this. It's not your problem."<br>"But it is, Becky." I whispered. "You aren't being fair. You can't stop me from being a dad."  
>"Please Danny..." she started impatiently but I interrupted her.<br>"No, just listen. Look, I'm so sorry about everything I've done, words can't even begin to describe how bad I feel about it. But I'm not going to miss out on my child's life just because I fell in love with somebody else. And I've been working my way up to talk to you and-"  
>I got cut off by another girl pushing past me to get into the kitchen. She sighed heavily and chucked a multi-pack of chocolate fingers in Becky's direction, she caught them with a grin.<br>"Cheers Emma."  
>"I'm pretty sure that living off of those isn't good for your health." They weren't even acknowledging that I was there, they were basically shoving me out of the room without even coming near me. It suprised me how much everything had changed in the past weeks, we'd all been best friends not so long ago and now it was like this. But then again, how could things not change completely after what had happened?<br>"I know but it stops the cravings." She grinned while opening a packet.  
>"Well at least I'm useful for something." Emma grinned back then moved over to the sink to start washing up. Ok, I'm sure just for that moment I was invisible and I was also confused. This was a very different Emma to what I had caught a glimpse of the night before.<p>

I realized that there was no reason to feel intimidated around them, I'd known for years before any of this shit happened. I cleared my throat, hoping to gain some kind of attention. The both turned to look at me.  
>"That's Danny's way of saying that he wants you to leave the room so me and him can 'talk'" Emma rolled her eyes but didn't even make an attempt to leave the room. "So anyways, how's your mum?" Becky asked her, starting up another completely different conversation. Emma's face dropped momentarily before she turned it back to how it was before. I knew it was all an act, no one can go from being absolutely heartbroken like she was the night before to completely normal in one night. It's probably because she doesn't want me to see how broken she is, she wants to seem strong in front of me, like she isn't bothered that I stole the person she loved from her.<br>"She's being a complete bitch, as she usually is." She stated bluntly, keeping her face devoid of any emotion.  
>"Oh well." Becky sighed sadly.<br>"She did tell me something though." Emma said, lowering her voice to a gossiping tone. Becky leaned in closer. I felt like I was intruding on something, like I shouldn't be listening but I couldn't move, I was frozen to the spot. "Dougie went and told his mum." I didn't want to leave then. I wanted to know what they were going to say about him.  
>"What, really?" Becky asked, her eyes growing wider.<br>"Yep, she's pretty much disowned him. She hates him, never wants to see his face again." She stopped. "I mean after what his dad did, I don't really blame her." Becky nodded. I was slowly becoming annoyed with her but I hid it, she did have right to be acting like this.  
>"Emma." I snapped, making the girls jump. "I need to talk to Becky, it's important." They both spun round to face me. "In private." I added firmly. She looked at Becky and she rolled her eyes again.<br>"Fine then." Emma sighed, drying her hands on a tea towel and pushing past me, harder this time, to exit the room. I let the silence settle before speaking.

"Becky-" I started but I was interrupted almost immediately.  
>"Do you honestly think that you're mature enough to be a dad?" She asked me, looking me straight in the eyes.<br>"Do you really think the way you just acted was mature?" I retorted. She rolled her eyes before taking a deep breath.  
>"Fine then. What I mean is, do you think you're trustworthy enough to be a dad? You need to have responsibility, having a kid isn't all fun and games, you know. You can't just leave whenever you feel like it."<br>"I'm not going to do that." I mumbled trying to look her in the eye but she refused to meet my gaze. "I promise you."  
>"Your promises don't mean anything, Danny!" she exclaimed and surprisingly tears were filling her eyes. I gulped and looked down to the floor, ashamed.<p>

"Are you ready to go, Becky?" I could hear a voice calling from the hall, he walked into the kitchen, glaring at me.  
>"Yeah." she nodded, gulping and wiping away her tears. "Let's go." She said, picking her hand bag and walking towards the door.<br>"No, wait." I shouted before she could leave. "We've not done talking."  
>"Yes we have, Danny." She stated bluntly taking away any sign that she had been crying.<br>"Please." I pleaded "Come on, Becky please."  
>"Would oyu take a hint? She doesn't fucking want to speak to you." Harry snarled at me. I turned sharply to face him, my eyes taking in his angry expression.<br>"Since when has this been any of your business? It's never been any of your business so back off."  
>"Don't be a smart arse, it doesn't look good on you." He turned back to look at Becky. "Come on, we're going to be late for your scan." So Harry was going with Becky to her baby scan. It's meant to my job, not his. All of this wasn't right.<br>"Would you just back off?" I raised my voice. "I'm trying to talk to the mum of my child here." He spun around before I even managed to blink and pushed me by shoulders. I stumbled back in surprise before reaching for the kitchen counter to keep my self up right, I missed and fell straight to the floor.  
>"Who do you think you are?" He practically screamed at me while I got back to my feet. I knew he was so close to hitting me and Becky obviously knew as well cause she was trying her hardest to hold him back; I stood there feeling shell-shocked. "You think you can leave for a month, a fucking month, and then come back without thinking about all the damage you caused. And you actually think you have a right to be here!"<br>"Leave it, Harry." Becky whispered while attempting to pull Harry back even further.  
>"What's going on in here?" Tom walked in a frown imbedded in his face, you walking in after him also looking confused.<br>"I was being honest." Harry spat sarcastically "Something that you seem to be too afraid to do."  
>"Danny?" Tom turned to me, knowing that he was only going to get sarcastic comments from Harry.<br>"I-I just wanted to talk to Becky." I shrugged feeling tears well in my eyes, though I tried to hide them I knew I had no right to cry. You somehow made it by my side and pressed your hand in mine, comforting and warming me in a matter of seconds, I looked over at you, and you smiled slightly letting me know you weren't leaving. Tom sighed.  
>"We need to have a talk anyway. Fletch says that we need to let him know what's happening with McFly." I sensed Chaz walk back into the room, standing just inside the doorway listening in.<br>"Well I'm out." Harry said calmly to Tom "There's no way I'm working with him again, either of them."  
>"Stop it Harry." Tom bit his lip nervously. "You know we can work this out."<br>"No we can't." He snapped, shaking his head.  
>"Harry!" Tom tried again "Please!"<br>"No Tom!" he growled "I'll be glad to see the back of them. Now, are you coming then?" He asked, turning to Becky. "We're going to be late." He walked through us, taking Becky with him; even if I wanted to I couldn't have called after her my throat had closed up. Our hands got separated but they found each other again, holding tighter this time.  
>"Danny?" Tom turned back to us; he looked distraught, desperate even. McFly was what made him the most happy in the world. He couldn't lose it. "Doug?"<br>"Tom, we're really sorry but we can't talk about this right now." I shook my head and turned to you. "Let's go." I tugged you towards the door.  
>"Wait." You stopped, turning towards Emma.<p> 


End file.
